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Zylona
Zylona | May 2007

Friends run a mile?

hi I am a 23yr old mum

I found thet when i had my son all my friends ran a mile now i have no friends at all and feeling very lonly

Has anybody else had this happen to them?

How can people be so crule?



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jd2
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | jd2
freinds
dont panic chuk they come back when there having a baby you'll be no1 agony ant, i had the same trouble when i met my bf i think its jelousy but its there problem not your when they return make sure you tell them how they made you feel i gave my freinds anouther chance but they know its the last one there going to get i'd never do that to them and was really hurt that they could be so horrid to me good luck jo xx


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anon
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | anon
Friends run a mile?
Absolutely. i was 21 when i had my bub and cause i wasn't having parties and wasn't interested in going out all the time my friends just dissappeared. i found a great mothers group and have called a couple at times in tears and other times just to say hi and catch up. they are the greatest bunch of friends and i don't know what i would do with out them. if your old friends are not interested in who you are now they are not worth the bother


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rach
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | rach
friends???

Hi Zylona

I am in the same boat as you at the moment, I am 24yrs old and have 2 kids. I had my daughter when i was 17yr old so my school friends (or who i thought to b my friends) just dissapeared!

My partner and i moved to Dalby Qld a few years ago for work, and i meet the most incredible friends in the world. But sadly we had to pack up and move again. Since moving back here in Sept last year, its been so lonely without them, Im having one of those bad days 2day, (one of those days when you need a good shoulder to cry on).

I did try a playgroup and a mothers group here, but the mothers there where very snotty, at one group the mothers where talking (nasty stuff) and laughing overly loud at me and my son while i was standing rite ther, i went home in tears. I was telling my good friend  over the ph & she was shocked and . She said " Shame on them, they dont deserve me as their friend, & it was there loss not mine" (she always knows how to make me feel better). They showed me what type of people they are from the get go. Definatly not people i wont as friends anyway. I hope you have more luck at a play/mothers groups in your town. i hope i havent discouraged you from trying either group in your town just from my experiences. Plz DO GO and try, you might just meet the friends network you are looking for. Good Luck

I would really love someone who knows how i feel, maybe having a good minti friend will help us both. i have gone and asked that you become my friend, its totally up to you tho. I hope to hear from you soon.

 Rach



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MummaBear
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | MummaBear
Friends run a mile?
I had my daughter at 23 also, and this did happen.  I found that playgroups were the best place to go to make friends with people with kids, although you might need to try a few before you find one that works.  Or make your own!  I found that a couple of people I knew but wasn't friends with had kids, and we became quite close after I had my child.  Also, some of my friends have since had kids or become step-mums and we have become close again.  It's not a nice feeling, but when you're a mum you can't decide at 8pm to catch the late movie, or go for an ice-cream, and it becomes more difficult going to BBQs for a little while, particularly if you are the only mum there.  But things have improved lots for us with new friends, and old friends having kids, so hang in there and I'm sure it will all work out.


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TwoLittleAngels
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | TwoLittleAngels
Friends run a mile?
Yes i Have the same problem. My friends all dispeared. Not that they were good friends anyways or the type I wanted around my kids looking back on it.

Now I have new friends, different friends. Ones that are special, supportive and most are older.

When you have kids of your own its all about making a whole other group of friends. I have my mummy friends who i turn to for advice and support and I have my party friends who will take me out and are there when im kid free for a great time!


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RebeccaDorant
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | RebeccaDorant
yep
yep!!! so annoying hey, my mates disapered for ages, only now that they are thinking of having kids that the come back hehe! most of my buddy's now live online in other parts of oz although i have a couple here now, friends is actually why i went looking for minti in the first place :)'s saved my sanity, well at least parts of it rofl.... woooohooooo go minti!!


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Libby24
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | Libby24
Friends run a mile?
yes yes yes and yes

all my friends left and I am only just getting some now 5 years later. its been awful as i feel i could of dealt with my PND a bit better if i had a mate to cry on.

I have found some great friends on here to.


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crystalmoon
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | crystalmoon
People are funny
durn cattle....... I am a bit of a recluse and my best friends are my Minti ones I just wish we were closer so we could have a chat and a coffee.....I  am older though and like my own company.... Although truthfully I did at 23 as well.I think we all grow in different directions as people and tend to like mixing with people of similar interests....Close friends though are rare and a precious commodity.Have you tried finding new friends that have children?perhaps your true friend is just around the corner.Remember you always have us and when we piss you off u can just change sites for a while PMSL  Hugs to you Crystal xx


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madchanny
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | madchanny
friends run a mile...
hey there, i know exactly how you feel im 21,
when i left school, i chose to have my baby, all my friends chose to turn to clubs and drugs, so in a way, it makes me feel so much better that i never followed in their footsteps (some friends they were)... but now, slowly i have begun to make friends of course they are in their 30's but we all connect as we are all mothers and have our own families :)
maybe it would be best to join a mothers group, play group or read up some other advice on here about finding some new (better) friends :) as it has helped me alot...

you have a great day and don't worry about the friends that ran away, you will see that there are more genuine people out there if you just look

xx channy


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cazza
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | cazza
friends run a mile
when we start a family early some of our friends are still loving the party life and can accept that we are settling down, and that sad.... But you do find who your true friends are thats for sure.... My hubby''s friends stuck by us when we started a family, but mine drifted apart .....

Once your children are older you will be wishing sometimes when you get that phonecall or tap on the shoulder can we go to your house today, thats when you know where the real friendships...

Welcome to minti and i hope that you can form some great friendships on here....


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merlin0903
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | merlin0903
friends run a mile

its funny when you have kids you really do find out as to who your real friend are, i had this happen to me the way i looked at it was if they ran then they wern't true friends to start off with and the ones who stayed were

it just one big learning ride  hope this helps



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mumof2b
5.00 (Excellent) | May 2007 | mumof2b
Friends run a mile?

I didn't have it happen to me but when I was 15 yrs old my best friend (also 15) got pregnant and once she had her daughter all her friends just disappeared. I was the only one that stayed around and supported her. Those "friends" you talk about are not real friends if they don't stick by you. I know it's difficult but you need to find people who are true friends, that are going to be there for you no matter what........

Amanda xx



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