i have had the awful experience of miscarriage and although i wanted to be left alone at first i found that it was helpful to have people around me whom i trusted.  i didn't really want to talk about it initially but it was comforting to know that my friends and family were around me and nearby if i needed them. let your sister in law talk to you about whatever she wants to it may be best for her to raise the subject of her loss so that she doesn't feel pushed into talking about it if she doesn't feel up to it.  but it may also help her if you invite her out for a coffee in town or window shopping anything that could be a distraction may help.

also please don't forget about the baby's father he will be feeling the loss too.  although he won't have the physical issues of the miscarriage i'm sure that he too will be feeling lost and emotional about the loss of his baby.

our thoughts are with you and your families at this sad time i hope that our comments are of help to you all, lol xxxx.

Be there for them both (your brother will be hurting too, although you know men nothing hurts them) Let them know you will be there anytime day or night to listen when they need to talk. Dont go all weird on them, be normal.

When i lost my bub all my friends avoided me and the once that did come around would be all weird with me. Then when i wanted to talk about it, theyre was no-one that wanted to listen. Everytime i would bring it up with them they would just say "its for the best, everything happens for a reason, you can try again in a mth or so, or the worst its happened just forget about it and pull yourself together" So i can tell you what NOT TO SAY!

I had one friend bring me a lasagna and a tossed salad. I didnt know she had done this until i opened the fridge for a snack. She would also drop me in milk and bread, & fresh fruit and vegies. As i spent alot of time in bed & would only snack on food, she made sure i always had healthy snacks. This was such a help for me, as i really didnt feel like facing anyone.

A good gift idea is a angel pendant on a necklace, that way your sister-inlaw can keep her lost angel close to her heart.

Make sure you have time to say goodbye as well. That baby was your neice or nephew!! I hope this has helped.

Rach

just be there for them and let them know that ,,

i lost my child and no one knew what to say so all my friends and family stayed away from me ,, that was alot harder as i didnt have anyone that i could talk to or  cry with ...

go over and make her a coffee etc,,, it will take time for her to heal .. im still not over my loss and wished that i had someone just come over and be there for me

i've lost three and i can't tell you what to say but i'll tell you what not to say "theres time, your still young enough to try again" , " you'll survive others have", "soon enough you'll be holding a baby" they are just a few that hurt, keep in contact she will need you but keep it simple ask her if she wants you to pop in for a brew or call to say your just going the supermarket do you need anything, she will know your there and will open up when she's ready but she has to decide when that is. Hope shes ok watch out for the depression her keeping busy might not mean she's ok at all.

jo xxx 

Hi there,

When i lost my son I was totally overwhelmed by people thinking they were doing the right thing. Honestly the best thing you can do is just be there when she needs you. Pop in and be as normal as possible, maybe do a little around the house for her.

Just being there will be a comfort and follow your hunch, you will know when she is ready to talk and then just sit there and listen. Sometimes all she will need is for some-one to listen. I know it was what i wanted. I wanted someone just to listen to me without the "you must feel's" or the "i'm so sorry's"

Best of luck . . .Kellz