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rach
rach | June 2007

helping kids say goodbye to puss

 We found our cat on the nature strip this morning, he had been hit by a car   

How do i help my kids 7and 2 1/2 handle this????

We got Puss as a kitten. He was born at my mums to one of the feral cats they have out there. he was very timid and wouldnt come near any of us for weeks. but i finally got his trust. then he was the best cat i ever had. he was so affectionate, and would tuck the kids into bed with me. He never scratched Taj, even if he was hurting him he would just ly there and then run to me when Taj had let him go. He is so apart of our family (oh soory was a part)

Bree 7 is very distraught as he was mainly mine and her cat?? She didnt go to school 2day as we havent stopped crying since i found him at 7am. Taj 2 1/2 is really upset as well. & keeps saying "naughty cars they run over my kitty & kill him" This might sound weird but our dogs are feeling this too, i found Billy our male dog nudging him and wingeing, he now wont leave puss's body. I feel like i have this pain in me, and i cant do anything without thinking about him and crying. My partner Daniel doesnt understant, but i think he feels guilty because he let him out this morning

Please help

Rach



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jenaya04
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | jenaya04
Re: helping kids say goodbye to puss

Oh, Im so sorry

I lost my Simba 5yrs ago on the 22nd of feb and think about him all the time. Silly isn't it! Can't be helped tho..

My son was 6 at the time and took it hard, real hard. Too old to fob off with a flimsy answer and too young to really understand. I found we just had to be honest and say these horrible things happen and u just simply don't know why. Of course u cant tell them what u r really thinking...Karma, u hope the driver has bad luck for the rest of his life...

We had our fav photo blown up and framed and had a little plaque put on it with his name ect. Talk about pus and fav times. Be prepared for many tears especially when u think they are over it like next month or next year. It pops up when u least expect it.

Its awful and I know exactly how u feel. Must be something bout strays, they always turn out to be the best ones hey!

Im sorry, Jo xx



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Jessgore
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | Jessgore
Re: helping kids say goodbye to puss
Maybe you could have a nice little burial for you cat with the kids. Get the kids to say a few words maybe even make a couple of nice cards or put photos of the kids in there with your cat and tell the kids he can take them with him where ever puss goes....

Then you can all sit down and make a scrap book...

Just an idea...

Sorry to hear about your cat.. I was very upset when my dog had to go..  Hugs to you and the kids...


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cheleinkal
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | cheleinkal
Re: helping kids say goodbye to puss

Have a funeral.  If you're in a rental buy a big terracotta pot and bury him in that with a nice bush or something on the top.  We did that with my dog when my house mate ran her over....we were about to move from rental to buying our house & I couldn't bare to leave her in the rental ground, so we took her with us....The down side was that she did get a bit smelly but I think it was made worse coz hubby put her in in a garbage bag, so I wouldn't recommend using plastic.  If you own your home bury her in the ground and plant a tree.  I also bought a terracotta simular looking Dog from a cheap shop and put her collar around the tree (we planted a frangapani), you can get them cremated, but it was a lot more expensive that doing it this way.  We said some noce stories about her and everytime I go past her I say Hi Buffy etc......for weeks I patted the plants leaves and talked to it.....she was my first baby LOL sigh!.

Anyway, it helped ME with my grieving process, and that pets are always a training ground for the inevitable Great grandparents, Grand Parents etc.  I think a funeral would be appropriate.  having your daughter help with the planning of it may also help her with closure, make it more real yet less scarey I think.

Go to a cheap shop, buy a nice pot, buy a cat ornament buy some potting mix, go to the nursery and pick out a nice plant.  You can put her fave toys or collar or what ever on it.  Then have hubby "plant her and the plant" you don't have to watch that....it's not a nice part.  And get some photo's if you have any, give one in a frame to your daughter (I forgot, I framed a lot of photo's of my dog too) have some in amongst your family pics etc.

Say some funny stories, toast her, tell her you all loved her.  I think it will be beneficial to your entire family and you as well.  grieving is a process, no matter how old you are, or if it's for a pert, or a person,....a loved one is a LOVED ONE.

Blessings to you

xo



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mewannaboy
5.00 (Excellent) | June 2007 | mewannaboy
Re: helping kids say goodbye to puss

Firstly i'd like to say how sorry i am that you have lost your pet...the only way we were taught to deal is imagine that the pet is a cat angel flying around up there ,if the children or yourself believe in thta kind of thing.My mum also had a little service for the cat we made a pretty cross and stuck it in the garden ,whenever we wanted to think about our cat "PADDO" we would go down to the cross with some daisies.I think our grandma boughtus large stuffed cat toys also which we slept with.

Depending on the amount of time you need to mourn maybe you could get another cat or kitten and take there attention from the deceased cat to a new addition.Anyway i hope i have helped.It wont be easy,When i was 15 i rolled on my mothers smallest chihuahua , i was trying to keep it warm and accidently smothered it ...i never forget that .I hope your pain doesnt stay with you long..



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