I agree with mrs-connell(jacki) on this one. I hope things turn out fine for you and  what i want to ad is, you have done a great job raising your child and if you think this is going to upset your childs life your better of the way it is, if you have this choice. If you legally get help you might not have a choice. And there is that odd ocaasion that they have turned there lives around and really want to start be a parent but thats rear but does happen and he has to show you. If thats the case i would have supervised visits at the start.Good luck and tells us how you go!!! Hugz Tee

After reading your about your situation I thought I would share this with you:

I was a child of an absent father who would go for months on end of not bothering to visit or make contact but when he did turn up I was always pleased to see him and always loved him.

Then when I grew up and had a child of my own I decided that he had to make a commitment to my child and agree to being involved full time or not at all, when faced with this decision he never contacted us again. My daughter therefore has never met her Grandad but I don't feel guilty about this as it was his decision and when in years to come my daughter asks about him I will tell her that he decided not to be involved in our lives.

As for your situation I agree with others comments and that your childs father should be arranging visits in advance and making them a regular thing (This should be arranged by yourself and him and not via relations!) I know that if I was in your situation that I would be demanding commitment from him for your sons sake, I personally know the damage a part time father can do and found it hard to trust people as I thought they would just get up and leave without a goodbye.

I hope you can find the strenght to do what is right by your son, this is a decision that only you can make.

Take care

Clare x

Hi I really don't envy your situation but here is what I would do.

If he calls, make sure that he understands that your son will have no idea who he is, second if you agree for him to come & see your son make sure that it is on your terms, this man hasn't wanted to see his son in so long you should be asking yourself why now?

If he just rocks up at your door expecting to be let in DON'T under any circumstances let him in. Tell him to go away & call you to make proper arrangements or do it there & then make arrangements for him to come back at a different time so you can have someone there to support you if he decided he wants to see him on a regular bases or tries to take him or something silly like that.

I'm sorry I don't know what else to say but this sounds very out of the blue & I don't think you should trust him to be around your son in-case he dose try something silly.

I'm sorry I can't be of anymore help, good luck & let me know how you go with it all.

Jacki