There is a group on Minti where those of us who have lost a baby can share our experiences. The group is called lost babies.

Reading other peoples stories may or may not be what you need right now. My ways of coping at the time were:

naming ceremony for the baby - we lost Baylee at 17 weeks so did not need to have her birth registered or have a funeral. We lost her in a hospital so the ceremony was arranged by the chaplin in the hospital chapel. You may be able to talk to your local  minister or may prefer to have your own ceremony at home.

We received genetic counselling at the hospital. You may like to find a grief counsellor.

Please don't forget to talk with your husband about what he is going through too. Many people worry about the woman who lost the baby and forget about the dad. Loosing Baylee brought Haydon and I closer together but in some cases it can do the opposite. Hold onto each other and grieve together.

We received many cards etc when we lost Baylee and part of my way of grieving was to hand make thankyou cards. - I had not done any cardmaking previously.

At the hospital we were given a memory box in which I put the stuff we were given for Baylee and the cards, ultra sounds etc. Even the info on Turners Syndrome.

You never forget but the pain does fade. Natalya Rose was born two years and two days after we lost Baylee.

I am very sorry for the loss of your baby.

peace.
Kim

I feel that from the moment of conception we have a deep love for our babies.....I have had 2 miscarriages and 3 ectopics each were as devastating as the other.There is no wrong way to deal with your loss.You and your husband need to grieve however best helps you to deal with your pain.I still have each pregnancy test of the babies I lost,I cannot bare to part with them.I also have names for each of my bubbies,my last loss was 4 years ago and I still grieve for that Bubby I now have a nearly 3 year old and I remember an aquaintence saying "oh see now you have a new baby" like all my previous losses were now made up for???? I  think it is sooo important  that people try not to make insensitive remarks....whether you are pregnant for 1 week or 9 months you still love your unborn child deeply and the loss is just as painful.Please know we are all thinking of you and your family at this time Hugs Crystal xx

Hi Joanne, I am very sorry to hear your news, however I think you have chosen a lovely way to remember this little being that you never got to meet.  You should definitely remember and grieve in the way that suits you best, that way you will feel better in the future.  There is no way you could forget this event, and to show your respect and love for this little one is a very personal thing, and now we will all remember too, as you shared it with us.

I hope you don't give up, if you keep hunting around this site, you will find some amazing stories, from wonderful women about their trials and tribulations and their miracle babies.

Lots of luv and hugs to you sweetie - Lui.

It is my belief that the love you have from the second you know you're pregnant ensures that this little angel coming into your life is as special in the first three months as it is when they hand a baby to you. When a pregnancy fails it's as heartbreaking as any other loss and I also hate it when people say non supportive things like it was meant to be, it was an act of god, it happens a lot stuff the stats we are dealing with people who are grieving such as yourself.

You deal with it as best as you can and creating a memorial is perfectly acceptable, I always wanted to plant a tree but was told I was being stupid, I am still in grief 20 years later because I wasnt allowed to deal with the loss at the time. My oldest daughter and my youngest sons gf both lost their babies on the same day last year it tore at our family like nothing else but we pulled together, my daughter framed her ultrasound pic and planted a tree under which she buried a letter to her unborn child telling it of the love that created the baby and the pain of losing the baby. My son and his gf have tried to bury the pain within themselves and its sad to watch.

Take it one day at a time, talk to your little one and allow yourself time to grieve.