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MumKim | June 2007


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Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

Yes ok I admit it! I have been feeding her to sleep, not every time but often (she is nearly 6 months old). It works without the screaming etc. The downside is that sometimes I end up holding her sometimes for hours because she wakes up when I try to put her down.

I know a lot of books say it is a big no no but what I want to know is what mothers who have actually fed to sleep think.
Did it cause problems later?
Would you do it again?
if not what would you do differently next time.
Please don't suggest controlled crying because I know I couldn't cope with that.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| RebeccaDorant

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

i found that the easiest way to put a sleeping baby down is keep them level when they fall asleep. if you change the angle it tends to wake them up quicker... with my 8 month old i cradle her neck and her bum but only with my hands not an arm... it makes it easier to get it out when putting her down... you may have to experiment with how you feed her to get it to work should be an interesting challenge. with my first i found the football hold works well for sleep time :)'s

as far as the sleeping thing is concerned do what you and bub are comfortable with, i think it's only a problem for bub when they are bottle feed (like my 8mt old) because of dental issues... oh and if you have or can forsee dificuilty controling their comfort food diet later on.... logan always wants food if he is stressed or board! poor kid cops alot of no's for that and i think it is because food was comfort for him when he was a baby cause i used to feed him to sleep... but it's alot easier to say no to a four year old than a screeming and stressed bub... if you are happy then it's all good.

oh my, i sware a non parent invented control crying! did it with my son and i cried more than him... :)'s hope this is what you were after... *becca is a frazzle today* i lost my brain this morning.... have you seen it! i must have left it here or in the lego box :))

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| kseers

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

No - it's natural (the body produces chemicals while feeding that help you sleep), comforting and a lovely, gentle way to fall asleep. So if that's what works for you keep doing it!

That said, after a while it can drive you nuts.

I have done this for a while but when she was starting to wake everytime I moved away from her I had had enough. Thus, at 1 I have just moved her into her cot to sleep (next to my bed). I refused to do CC too (did it with my first and hated it), so we worked up to it gradually using tips from the No Cry Sleep Solution (basically changing sleep cues) and it has worked.

The last three nights she has self soothed and slept in her own bed all night! Then we have had a lovely snuggle and a feed when she wakes so that she is not missing it too much. I still feed her before bed - but just until she is settled, not asleep. Hope that helps!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| MumKim

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

The no cry sleep solution?????? is it a book? who wrote it? I shall see if the local parenting library has a copy?

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| kseers

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

It is a book - written by Elizabeth Pantley. I borrowed mine from the local playgroup, but if your library doesn't have it you can get it through Mothers Direct and probably from Huggies books too. Hope that helps!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| avanliamsmum

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

I breastfed my daughter to sleep until she was about 13 months old, when she weaned herself and seemed to fall asleep on her own (I too hated the thought of control crying, I used to get upset when someone mentioned it). I got frustrated feeding her to sleep, but I couldn't bear hearing her cry. I think she liked the comfort of being close to me. She too used to wake up when I put her down, or she wouldn't sleep for very long. My son is 4mths old and I'm breastfeeding him to sleep maybe half of the time, but he's a brilliant baby and can fall asleep with simple patting on his back. I don't think this causes any physical problems, you just have to be happy to do it, as it can be very tiring. The only thing I do different with my son is I wrap him up, so he can't wake himself easily, then when he's asleep he goes straight in his cot in a dark room. I really don't mind feeding him to sleep, and can't see anything wrong with it as it didn't harm my daughter. She basically taught herself to go sleep on her own when she was ready.

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	4.15 (Good) \| June 2007 \| mommyofone

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

I would feed my daughter to sleep up until she was about 8-9 months old. At that time I would feed her (she wouldn't fall asleep while eating) and then lay her in bed. The first few nights she cried and cried, but once she figured out that I wasn't coming back in, she fell right asleep and slept the night.
She is now 19 months and our nightime routine is to brush teeth, have a drink of water, read a couple of books, rock and sing our night songs and then she lays down in bed with no fuss. Some nights she talks for about a half hour before falling asleep, but she knows how to fall asleep on her own.

Basically, I would say, feeding to sleep does not do any harm. You just have to make the transition to not doing it when they quit falling asleep while eating. If you continually rock them to sleep after that then they will not learn how to fall asleep on their own.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| PHOENIX

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

Ok my 2 cents
feeding to sleep does not set up bad habits. I was forced to use CC when DS was 6mths old because according to CHN he shouldn't be feeding overnight or to sleep. Bad idea I lasted 3 days. CC IMO is a form of torture for mums and bubs. In the end I helped DS settle by feeding and/or standing next to cot patting etc until he got older and then he had music that really helped. Second time round I went with instinct and fed to sleep.
There is a wonderful book called The No Cry Sleep Solution for babies (and there is one for toddlers too) by Elizabeth Pantley. I think you may find this book really helpful.
My DS2 was fed to sleep from day dot. In his own time he came out of the habit (from memory not long after he turned 1).
Feeding to sleep and overnight is supposed to cause dental carries which is why people are usually so against it. But it doesn't cause carries bottles in bed do.
The above book has some ideas on how to put bub to sleep without the screaming and it may help you with putting bub into bed after you feed. I found that it took about 10-20 minutes for DS2 to be asleep enough to put down (check by picking up arm and dropping if it just flops they are asleep enough to put in cot).
Hope this helps

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| Snooty-Farkleboob

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

At 21 months I still feed Bella to sleep.

Breastfeeding is about more than just nutrition. It's comfort and safety as well. I see no problem allowing her to drift off to sleep knowing she is warm and safe in my arms, that I will always be there to care for her. I'm sure she will grow out of it in time, until then, I'm prepared to take some time out of every day to just snuggle with her and nurse her off to sleep.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| Kellzacar

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

Hi there,

My youngest in now 1 and I still put her to sleep with a night bottle in my arms . . . . as soon as she drifts of i remove the bottle and put her to bed . . . If she wakes i usually soothe her in her bed as I don't want her to become too dependant BUT I think letting her fall to sleep in my arms is another bonding time for her and I.

I've never had any sleeping problems with any of my children and my oldest is 16. All my children have never slept in my bed, loved the door practically closed and have been confident little sleepers . .

Good luck with it all . . . . cheers Kellz

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	4.76 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| emmie

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

When i was breastfeeding i must admit i did feed her to sleep but like you said sometimes you would be there hours it was also nice because we had time between the two of us at the end of the day she is nearly 1 now and is on cows milk but she still has milk in bed to have her nap with . I would definatly feed to sleep again as i to this day respect me doing that as it brought our bond that much closer . I wish you all the best with it

emz x

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	4.61 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| winja

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

it wont harm your baby at all. the only prob is it makes it hard for bub to self soothe(learn to put themselves to sleep) but if u r ok with that and u dont mind puttin baby to sleep yourself than go for it! whatever makes life easier for u. i was warned th same thing when i fed to sleep my daughter and when i stopped feeding i did have a few days that i had to teach her to sleep without it but it was no prob for me.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| MummaBear

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

It didn't cause us any problems at all. So long as you don't the bottle (or breast) in the mouth after they've gone to sleep it won't do damage to their teeth. Babies who are put to bed with a bottle and it's left in there for the whole night dripping on their teeth, or until they wake up through the night and are given another one that drips on their teeth, end up with dental issues from it. As for sleep issues, mine fed to sleep until she was over a year old, and sometimes after that she'd fall asleep at the breast. She decided when she didn't need it anymore. Then she'd go to sleep in my arms in my bed which was nice. She decided when she didn't want that to happen too. She moved out of my bed when she was ready and now sometimes I lay with her, but mostly she'll tell me to turn the light off on the way out. Very rare will she tell me to turn the light off then lay back down with her. She was around 2 when she started sleeping in her own bed, and just over 3 when she didn't want me to be with her to go to sleep anymore. So it doesn't last forever.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| MumKim

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

But you were able to co-sleep

. My hubby is against co-sleeping

and I must admit having her in bed with both of us is not as safe as just one baby and one adult in the bed. And I know hubby wouldn't go for that!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| winja

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

have u tried a co sleeper bed hun? i wrote an advice on it th other day, bub doesnt have to acctually be IN bed with u but is still right next to u.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| MummaBear

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

Co-sleepers look like they are a fantastic idea! They would also be good for camping because who wants to set up a portacot in a tent? I don't know if one would even fit. They keep bub safe in an adult bed. You could also sleep side-car. This is having the cot next to bed with the side dropped down. It's kind of like a bedrail that way and bub is right next to you as well. If she's crawling, she can only crawl onto your bed and not fall over the side. I know many couples who do this. Good friends of mine have 2 toddler and a baby so they have a single bed against the wall, a queensized bed against the single bed and the cot with the side dropped against their bed. It does mean all other furniture has to go into a different room but I guess you find a set-up that suits your family and that's what works for them. But have a read about co-sleepers they look great and they are sold at baby shops.

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	4.06 (Good) \| June 2007 \| rockclimbr4400

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

We did whatever we had to do to get her to sleep until she was 6 months old. After that we let her cry. The feeding to sleep is a bad idea. We did it for awhile out of desperation, and it sucked getting her out of that habit. I would NEVER do this again. At some point you will probably have to let her cry it out. She is old enough now.

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	4.00 (Good) \| June 2007 \| MummaBear

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

I never let mine cry it out. Even if she was upset and crying, i never left her alone to cry. She has no problems now. She had a story on the couch tonight then went to her room and went to bed. Not a problem. Mostly we read on my bed then she goes into her room and puts herself to sleep. I don't really think it's necessary for every baby to have to cry it out. Only if there are problems. And I really didn't have a problem feeding her to sleep. I would do everything again next time that I've done this time except maybe I'd use disposable nappies on occasion for convenience and I'd buy a co-sleeper instead of sharing just the big bed. At least for the first 6 months, then the baby could sleep next to me out of it. It's only necessary if there is a problem with that baby or that family but it's not always the case that when they get to 6 months they have to put themselves to sleep.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| June 2007 \| lisasmith140483

Re: Is feeding to sleep really so bad???

i fed my babies to seep to and ended up doing the same thing holding them for hours on end.

is your baby wrapped? if so you could start by feeding her until she is almost there and then popping her on the couch and looking in her eyes and patting her off ( this is what i did) i couldnt handle the controlled crying either.

after a while i started turning her away to pat her and then i put her in her bed turned away until she felt safe to go to her bed and self settle.

This is ho i did it i hope it helps!

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