Telling the children to call her MUM, leaving them with strangers to go for a walk around the block, addressing a so called friend of hers "auntie" when in actual fact its not (the children are now addressing even some of my friends as aunties and uncles) so they are getting confused of the realities of relatives etc; his new wife telling my children that she hates me and the clothes that i buy them etc

my list goes on

It doesn't sound so much like emotional abuse which is usually when the child's ego and self esteem are being destroyed.  Sounds like a bitter jellous new wife trying to assert herself in an incredibly immature and nasty way.  My brother married one of those....trust me, she'll get hers, ours justy did...hehe, makes me smile every time I think about it and it was sooo easy and no kids involved....Universal Justice is a wonderful thing.

Look, you must stay the GOOD & RIGHT person, the adult in a play pen of juvenile delinquents.  Your kids know you and love you and as long as you see them regularly that wont change, just dont sink to her level.

Let them call Joe Blow aunty, in the major scheme of things it's not really important.  Explain to them that they have one Mum and thats you and you are the only Mum they get to call Mum, suggest they call her Mam if she's so desperate for a short M-name.

The bonus is that while she is trying to win over your kids, she is actually being good to them..ie. nice to them, feeding them, treating them well etc. so that is actually a good thing.

Take a deep breath and a step back, and try and work out what it is that is really important for you and your kids and focus on making sure those things happen.  Them calling people you don't associate with Uncle and Aunt is a matter of personal taste and shouldn't affect you seeings you dont know these people. If they start calling your friends Aunt simply correct them, no biggie.

Oh, my, That's horrible. Your children shouldn't be calling anyone else Mum except you. It's unacceptable to leave young children with strangers, & there seems to be a lot of confusion for your kids. I would suggest you talk to them, tell them how you feel when they do these things, & their father should have a lot more respect for you as their Mother.

As far as what 'she' says about you, you know the old 'Sticks & Stones' saying. They are just words after all. (Although she is disrespecting you by saying these things to the children.)

Your ex & his wife need to respect you as the childrens Mother, & if they aren't then, I would stop the children seeing him until he learns to respect you.