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3 year old and a difficult bedtime.....every night!
I'm tearing my hair out by 9pm when she finally settles. She still has a midday sleep and is too tired and even more naughty when she doesn't have a sleep. I know she is over tired as well and hopefully the next 2 weeks school holidays (from preschool and whole routine each day) will give her a break.
Every night we do the same thing, dinner, then a story with milk, clean teeth, toilet then into bed. Every night she gets up several times, then decides to go and do a poo and used be ok after the poo but is now playing up that, to which I say "no you cant feed the fish, it's time for bed", or whatever she is after. Whenever I say no, it's like a licence to scream for her and the tantrums start. If I dont get cross with her, I feel it's not fair on her brother who is doing the right thing and staying in bed. I do try calmly to settle her and just when you think it's all ok, she wanders out and I just see red now. I'm so over it. I've tried shutting the door, threatening to shut the door, star charts, bribes, smacks, cuddling, lying next to her. Nothing works at the moment. Any ideas? My son was always so good, but because there was only him and me home (my husband worked night shifts), I could do controlled crying at a much younger age and he just seems to know he has to stay in bed unless he needs to get up and go to the toilet. She tests every boundary she can find!
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Re: 3 year old and a difficult bedtime.....every night!
They say Terrible Twos but I think 3 is much worse than 2! I had more problems with mine when she turned 3 than ever before. In the evenings I make it really boring for her. She is usually asleep after story time, so by 7pm she's snoring, but sometimes she just doesn't want to. Sometimes she has a sleep at daycare which makes it a much later night. This is when I do the housework and have only a couple of lights on. The light from the kitchen, hallway and toilet gives enough light for the whole house but not enough for a child to play. It doesn't light up the rooms at all. Her toys get packed away before story time and not pulled out again until morning so she really has nothing to do. The TV goes off and doesn't get turned on until I say so. She has no books, no toys, no tv, nothing to do so she usually goes to sleep. Have you tried doing this? Just let her stay awake but give her nothing to do, ignore any noise she makes, if she throws a hissy fit put her on her bed and walk off. If she follows you put her back and walk off. Don't even talk to her at all. I don't have any hassles at bedtime. Actually bed time is the one time of day I haven't had many problems. She started with the "I need a drink" and "I've gotta go to the toilet" and all that but I didn't give her a drink and if she had to go to the toilet I told her to just go to the toilet and go back to bed, she doesn't need to come and tell me. Hope you find something that works. I think now that mine is nearly 4 I'm not having many problems any more. I definately think tha 3 is the most challenging age. But they do turn 4. Each age has a different stage and a different challenge but I really do think that 3 is the most difficult. Apart from teens of course, but they're a different species entirely!
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Re: 3 year old and a difficult bedtime.....every night!
Hi, friends of mine had a similar experience with their little one. They tried (and had success with) the following technique - I don't know if it might work for you. They did their normal bedtime routine like it sound like you do, and their little boy was still getting up sometimes over ten times after that. In the end it was recommended that the child was given a card, I think it was their video store card, but you could use anything. After everything had been done and he had been put to bed, he had the card. he was allowed to use it once, and once only, if he 'needed' something after that. Sure enough, the first night, ten minutes after bedtime he came down because he wanted a drink. This was part of the rules, so he had a small drink of water, handed over the card and went back to bed. His parents waited.. it worked! There are many reasons why this may have worked, but do you think it might be worth trying for your family? You could use if for both your children if you're concerned about reating them the same, and maybe link a reward of some type to using the card properly. Do you think this might work? Hope that helps.
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Rachael
