I can't stand my Father in Law and his wife, and I believe that I have good reason to hate them, but Idon't, I don't enjoy spending time with them and I don't make a great effort to see them, but I tolorate them, and we see them 3-5 times a year.  I really believe that if I make my husband make this choice, if I speak badly of my inlaws that it will only come back to haunt me in later years, I want my husband and my children to be honest with me as they grow up, and surround them in love.  I want them to grow up with all of the same values as me and work out for themselves that grandpa and his wife are only interested in themselves and not in anything else.

I have said it on Minti before, life is all about relationships nothing else really matters in the long run and some are easier than others.  I too am the odd one out in my inlaws family, and I think if they had a choice for their son they wouldn't have chosen me, but they didn't choose me, Ben did, and when all is said and done I believe in "love thy neighbour" and as a grandparent I would not want to be excluded.

Good luck with your situation

Jodi

My sister had the exact problem.  I agree with jess.  Let him take your son.  Your husband should be able to handle the baby and you have the opportunity for some "me time". 

I say let him take your son.. Take that time for yourself.. Pamper yourself.. In time as your son gets older maybe he will decide for himself if he wants to go or not...

It is a win win situtation in a way.. You don't have to put up with their crap, you can pamper yourself, and they won't harp on your husband for you not letting them see their grandchild...

Take the time he goes there to spend with the in-laws for you and you only...  Mothers need some rest too.. And if it helps just look at it like that. Take a good book, or a long bath. Hairdressers. Anything that pleases you...   Enjoy the time for yourself...

Try not to let them get you down. Your hubby is with your child he will take care of him.. Just you try to relax some.

I am in the same situation arghhhh dt they get your back up, she knows when she has wound me upm and acts all nicey nice infront of my bf, its caused emence strain on our relationship and i feel she is so unreasonable after 3 mc i have given her , her first granchild i understand she loves him but her respect for me....well i cldnt say without losing it. I fully support the action you have taken, as this is our intebtion too i know i feel the same its asthough she has won, but atleast you dont have to deal with them and your hubby will be there, i plan to mk her access minamol once a month as we need time together my bf get 1 full day of a wk and i wont be sat home alone try to arrange a schedual where they see your child when you have plans with freinds otherwise not takin up your family time. You have remained anon but if you need to talk get my msn addy its on my profile or minti mail me....we'll put the world to rights ...lol i wish

jo xxx

Yes you should let him take him. As your husband is in agreeance with you about the behaviour, I would suggest to him, that if the baby shows any signs of distress or upset, then he comes home.

You are not losing control, as you will be the ones to decide when your in-laws see the baby. Your husband has to make sure that the childs interests are whats important. Yes he still needs to see his parents, but if it causing distress to the baby, then you can always say, "Not this time, maybe next time".

Hope this helps Leisa

Im glad your husband agreed with you. I feel any grandparent have the right to see their grandchild, even if it is only once a fortnight. I'm sure if your husband see's that he gets to upset by these visits, he would bring him home.  If this happens sweetie, don't feel like the have won, you should feel like, you have not lowered yourself to their level.

Kindest Regards Janice

I'm sorry but without you they wouldn't even have a grandchild, so if they don't want to see you, then they can't see him. If they are going to act like children, treat them that way. I am sorry you have to go through this but your son doesn't deserve to go through this, let your husband deal with them, if they act better, you all go see them as a family, if not, forget about them.

if you feel your hubby cant handel your son then i guess dont let him go, but its always good to him socialise with his grandparents so why not meet at a park let hubby be there to chaperone and you tag along too read a book or something and if you see or hear baby upset go calm him down and comfort him. it is a hard decision but hopefully you will get along when they see you wont back down.

Hi , i think you should let your son go with your hubby , in saying that  i don't mean all the time that he wants to see his family eirther .May be once month or a forthnight .  That way you working in with family to a degree and they can't say they don't get to see their grandson .

Also if your hubby takes your son over a couple of times to see them and fines  your son gets stress to much  , he might decide himself that its not good for his son to be  so upset .

Hope u can work things out with the ln laws  as it makes hard   on your family and for your hubby with  his family . Best of luck to u hope thing can  be work out .

julie

ps if you ever want a chat just minti mail me.    and keep your chin up

I can totally understand where you are coming from. Personally I think letting them know they are not welcome at your house is a very hard thing to do but also nescassary if things are as bad as you say and i'm not saying they are not. Secondly I don't think stopping them from seeing your son is going to achieve anything. In fact possibly make things worse. Let him go over there with your husband but make sure your hubby knows your concerns about him being upset when ever he is near them and that you don't want him left alone with them under any circumstances. Hopefully in time they will learn to accept you for who you are and that they let go of what ever it is thats not allowing them to be accepting. But if thngs continue the way they are going perhaps it would be best to cut all ties and move on. What ever you do do not force your hubby to choose between his new family and the family he has known his whole life. I sincerely hope it all works out in the end and everyone can be happy.