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Anonymous Member
  anonymous | July 2007

Worried Grandma's!

My mother is always worrying about my little one, which is fine it's a grandmother's duty to be worried.  She thinks my girl has asthma, yet she only ever coughs when it gets cool, and putting a singlet on her stops the coughing without the need of any medication unless she has a cold or flue then i'll give her vitamins or cough and cold medication to relieve it a little and all the doctors we've seen have said she doesn't have asthma yet she's always telling me whenever my little girl coughs that i need to get her to a doctor to get ventolin because she has asthma and won't listen to me when i say she hasn't and that the doctors are  saying she hasn't.  She just keeps at me about how I have to ignore what the doctors are saying and follow my own instincts and tell them that she has asthma and needs ventolin.  I just don't know what to do about it, I feel like a bad mother when she asks if I've given her ventolin and I tell her no she doesn't need it and them my mother tells me of course she needs it and you need to get it into her.  I'm at the point of saying yes I've given it to her when I haven't because I've had enough.  My mother's instinct tells me that a singlet is what she needs, or some cough medicine or a cup of herbal tea with honey, and if I think she has tonsilitis or something I take her to the doctor for antibiotics.  How do I get her to take me seriously without undermining what I'm saying and doing with my own child! If I thought she had asthma I would go to every doctor in town to get ventolin, but a singlet fixes the problem most of the time and she's never had any respiratory distress of any kind so that tells me (and the doctors) that she does not have asthma.  But how does one communicate that to a grandmother who is worried and really believes that she does?  Sorry, rambling I know, but I've just ended a conversation where she's told me I have to take her to Emergency because she coughed once after her bath, and has stopped now that she's dressed and sleeping.

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Jessgore
July 2007 | Jessgore
Re: Worried Grandma's!
Doctors would not normally say that a child has Asthma before the age of four unless they have had three serious attacks... My son went to hospital with trouble breathing.  He needed ventilin to help him, but only for his stay while in the hospital and the moment his chest had cleared he was fine...    But he is two and this happened when he was six months.. He had a bad cold...

Try telling your mother if you start with Asthma pumps or any medication now ( most of all when the doc says you don't need them) she may just end up like my uncle who now has been using asthma medication for years and has complications develop because of them...

I am not sure about all Asthma medication but once a year I get it really bad and need a pump.. This particular pump is a steroids..    Does your mother know that steroids are an ingredient in the pumps...  Some times my son may seem like a little out of breath but we just stop what ever activity he is doing because it is usually after he has been running around non stop for a few hours and he just needs to sit down for five minutes and he is fine again....

Some grandmother worry to much...  Going with gut instinct is fine in your case as I believe you don't agree with Grandma, so just tell her you are going on your gut instinct... :)

Good luck...


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Tadexpress
July 2007 | Tadexpress
Re: Worried Grandma's!

In Aus Ventolin is purchased over the counter and is seriously over used. You could take her to the Dr with you but I would hazard a guess that she'll still continue to harass you after she has the visit.

You need to remain firm and say, "I am her mother I am doing what's best for my child I appreciate your concern but she is not asthmatic". You will need to continue like a broken record until she gets the message.

Continue as you are with your child she doesnt need to be on the medication treadmill... my children were taken to the Dr when seriously ill but otherwise simply looked after. People need to develop their immune systems otherwise we will only become sicker...



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Deborahsc2203
July 2007 | Deborahsc2203
Re: Worried Grandma's!

as far as i know you cant buy it unless she has asthmait is monitered by the goverment , they give you a card and it has to be wrtiten out every time you buy it ,,,even know its over the counter meds you will still need as far as i know a doctors letter to say yes she has it and this is what she needs ,, its on a regester thats monitered

i would also take nanna to the docs with me on this one so she will feel alot better knowing her grandchild is ok , let her also ask the doctors questions and also ask questions to the doctor like if we give this to our child what are also the hidden dangours of giving a child asthma meds when she hasnt got asthma ,, also ask about the cough etc,, what you can also give to your child ,,,,its worth the trip for all

singlets are great though just have them on as it does help to keep their chest warm , that will give her piece  of mind ....



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      MummaBear
July 2007 | MummaBear
Re: Worried Grandma's!
I don't know about that, I needed some a few weeks back and walked in and bought it without a prescription.  Had to pay full price as you can't use a health care card to get it cheaper without a prescription but i didn't have time to go to a doctor the cold weather hit me and i could barely breathe and needed to get it before going to work that day.  Ventolin isn't monitored by the government, other meds are but that's not one of them they didn't ask for any ID or anything, I just walked in, told them what I needed and paid for it.


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luckyone
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | luckyone
Re: Worried Grandma's!

Hi there ,  i have to agree with anon on this one  . Make appointment with your gp take your mum with you and that way she theres with you when the doctor tells you no she has got asthma.

This way your mum heard from the doctor herself and your not lieing to her and she will hopefully  will let it go .



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anon
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | anon
Re: Worried Grandma's!
My suggestion would be to take grandma to the doctors with you and let her hear the doctor for herself, if not go to the chemist you can by ventolin for yourself without a script empty the tin by repeatedly squeezing and just pretend to give it to your daughter.(Make it a game for her) Sneaky I know but it may help get her off your back.


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Ngairi
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | Ngairi
Re: Worried Grandma's!
That sounds sooooo like my mother! As younger boys who were very active, my kids would tear through the house and run into things including each other. The eldest one had bruises on his legs from colliding with the furniture. I had to take him to the hospital she said, cause bruises are a sign of leukeamia. That was the classic. She sees the negative in everything that is happening with the kids and gets so worried. She is even one to tell me to go to the doctor if the kids have a sniffle. And they are now almost 16, 15, and 6. She does not beleive in the ads which say for a commond cold use common sense not antibiotics. I just ignore her now, and give her an "Uh huh". I have told her I will take them to the doctor or the hospital If and when I decide it is necessary and nothing you can say will change that! One day she will beleive me. It seems like she will not be happy until the kids have been diagnosed with a fatal disease and she can say I told you so. Just be strong, and like someone else suggested, take her to the doctor with you next time (but maybe warn the doc in advance). Leisa


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MumKim
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | MumKim
Re: Worried Grandma's!
I don't have the answer to the worried Grandma - wish I did though. It would make my life easier too. Hopefully someone will have a better answer but if you don't get one that works for you as a last resort you might try explaining the situation to the doctor and asking for a placebo inhaler. That is an inhaler that doesn't really contain ventolin.. A bit like the sugar pill version for inhalers. That way you would not be giving your daughter unnecessary medication but you would get some peace and quiet from your mother. - Obviously you wouldn't tell your mother that the inhaler was a placebo - the whole point is to make her think that your daughter is getting medication.


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lisasmith140483
5.00 (Excellent) | July 2007 | lisasmith140483
Re: Worried Grandma's!
honey you need to put your foot down a little bit here, as you said you are following your instincts and you are probably right!! my kids cough all the time in the cooler weather, maybe you could get a humidifer if you are worried as this helps a little... explain to your mum that giving ventolin to a child that doesnt need it is dangerous!!

Maybe take your mum to the doctor with you so the doctor can explain all the symptoms of asthma which your child clearly does not have or research it online with her..

But yes i would put your foot down a little bit..

good luck sweetie i know what your going through my mum is the same!!


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