Hi honey,

Whilst masturbation is a normal part of development, what you are describing is NOT . . Children of this age do not understand about inserting things in there unless it is a learned behaviour . . .

My advice is to take her to your doctor and get her checked in case she has been interfered with . . . What you are describing is something that I learned about when training top be a foster parent and its a reportable thing . .

Please honey get your stepdaughter checked out asap!!!

Concerned Kellz

my little girl is just 3 and she found her "fifi" about a year ago.  she wants to show her 8 yr old brother what she has!  i even found her one day just about to try and put a pencil in there!

i have told her that girls have those and boys are different.

let her know that is her own private part of her body that she shouldnt play with as it might get "sick" or sore if she plays with it.

good luck     xx

im with you on this,  i would be horrified if i saw my daughter in that position at the age of 4!! I would be taking it pretty serioulsy and trying to see if anyone has ever tried to touch her there.. .. i wouldnt be saying it is dirty as you want her to be able to talk to you but i really dont think it sounds normal at such a young age... personally i think 4 is also too young for an in dept explanation for this is ok for Mummys and Daddys.. Good luck, i wish you all the best

She is investigating her body - just like sticking her fingers in her mouth, ears and nose.  If she was a boy, I think the stigma would be less, so try to take it in your stride.  Don't make a big deal of it, and definitely don't say it is bad or dirty - that does create issues in the future that could affect her perception of herself sexually.  As long as she understands that it is her private area, and that nobody else can ever touch it.  Keep the lines of communication open now - it will serve you well in the future.  Take it one step at a time, don't over think it, or leap to conclusions.

Just in case - you could ask her in general conversation why she did it, and has she ever seen anyone else do it etc.  No fuss, just general questions, the same as if you would say - did you have a nice day out?  Kids here about things early now days - I looked up sex and read all 25 pages about it in the Encyclopedia Britannica when I was 7yrs old, and I'm hardly smarter or cleverer than the average person.  Kids today are a lot quicker than we were, and if she has been around any kids a few years older, she may have heard them talking about such things, or discovered it by herself.

Yes, i think it's totally normal....don't panic.  I have boys and they too are obsessed with their penises!   It's their way of finding out about their little bodies.  Don't tell her she's naughty or bad or be negative just that it's not appropriate to do that everywhere or let anyone else touch her there for that matter.

I don't know if i'd tell her 'what it's all about ' she might be a bit young and you could scare her, just explain boys and girls are different to each other and leave it at that unless she asks questions.  You have to be age appropriate. Keep it simple and be honest you want her to be able to talk to you when shes ready.  Don't worry too much i'm sure she'll lose interest in it soon.

Julie

Hi
It's ok take a deep breath and relax
Try not to tell her it is dirty as this can put a fear into her later on in life.
Get out a book from the library or buy one on parts of the body and talk to ehr in simple terms about what she is doing and get the lines of communication open.
Depending on how she was doing it I would be more concerned over what she has seen or perish the thought has anyone shown her what to do or tried to interfere with her.
Like some of the others have said it is natural curiousity to explore their bodies and do what feels good
The fact of the position she was in would worry me a bit and ring alarm bells though. 
Don't panic or let her see you are upset by it. 
I would take her to a doctor for a check up to rule out any infection or anything like that as well. 
Talk to your doctor they will help you
Just what i would do
Luv Deb

My Daughter is nearly 3,whilst she has not gone to those lengths she has decided at times it is a wonderful new toy to explore LOL........ I do not tell her what she is doing is dirty or yucky as I do not personally feel that it is.I do however tell her that she gets germs on her fingers and if she touches her vagina she will put those germs into her vagina and then it may get itchy and sore and get sick etc.....I have also started the good touch bad touch talks in conjunction with this and it is going pretty well so far.I think keeping explanations as simple and age relevant as possible helps.Please try not to stress too much as she is just being pretty normal really. Hugs Crystal xx

is there any way she may be curious due to observing something that you may not know of???
im sorry but i have never heard of a child that age actually being able to 'insert' her finger... i truly believe you should be looking further into this by seeing a doctor, i do not want to alarm you at all, it could just be curiosity but like i said, i have never heard of a child so young actually doing this and making loud noises also... could she have seen something on tv???

xx

Its normal for her to explore her body! My three yo had a day like that and i told her no dont do that you'll hurt yourself. Are you itchy? NO.  Is it dirty bec you didnt wipe your self? NO Well you only need to touch it if you need to wash or clean there,ok YES. She hasnt done it since but its quite normal for her to do this just as a boy will play with himself. Dont stress just make sure that she isnt sore or got a infection but its normal. If it does become really bad and a habit go and see your doctor for some advice or health nurse.

Hugz Tee

i don't think this is a big deal at all. it's very normal for her age and does not reflect in any way shape or form an appetite for sex or sexual things the way it would for an adult (lol!) i would totally underplay or ignore such behavior, tell her it's totally fine to do that in private. her bedroom or bath is the perfect place and then leave it at that. if she starts disrobing at the dinner table or exploring her body at the playground or some other place, i'd remind her that is activity for private time, for herself alone. seriously, there's no reason to freak out or to shame her. i'd leave it alone and not put an adult interpretation on a natural curiousity in being a kid.

WOW!! Thats a tough one. I think if it was my daughter I would tell her thats not good to do . That it is  yucky or dirty. I know not the best words but words a 4 year old understands. I would ask her questions why she is touching  herself. She is old enough  to try and explain but I would be really careful.  It is normal for them to explore down there my 2 year does but I always pull her hand out and say yucky go wash your hands.
Could she have seen something to triger more of a fasination ?  Or could  she be just plain itchy from a yeast infection?
 Good lucky sweetie