We Need Help!!!!
Our daughter (Candice) is out of control and we feel out of control now too. It started when she was 4 and began visiting her father and his family. She hated going over there and we knew something was wrong, but were helpless to do anything untill one day she started acting out sexually by touching one of the kids we were babysitting. So at five years old we put her in therepy to figure it out. We were told it was normal kid stuff at first and she got help to control her urges, but it didn't stop. Finally at 6 yrs old she and her older brother were caught touching each other at her fathers house and it was the last straw. We put her back in therapy for the second time and the horror of what had been going on between her and her brother (2 years older) came out. Between the first and second rounds of therapy she was diagnosed as having ADHD. We were told that lots of kids with ADHD act out sexually early and that she had poor impulse control, but what is going on with her is so far beyond that. After another year of therapy the doctors removed the PTSD diagnosis, she was only seeing her father once a week for 2hrs and life was getting back to normal. The therapist said we needed to let her start doing normal things like having sleep overs and trusting her around other kids, but it has backfired on us again.
After a year and a half of not seeing her brothers and only seeing her father once a week, we tried getting them back together. Everything was going great, we were all hanging out together swimming, playing games, going to movies. It was working out great because her father is raising the two boys on his own and without help so now he could spend more time with Candice without the fear of taking her overnight and what could happen. He hasn't spent much time with her over the last year because none of us wanted to chance Candice and her brother alone together and her Father was afraid something would happen and he would be in trouble. So we kept them apart untill 3 months ago when we all started hanging out and trying to get some normal back.
Monday afternoon our 8 yr old daughter (Candice) comes to us and says she is hearing voices in her head. It is not the first time she has said that, the last time she was 6 and we had just started therapy. We were told not to worry about it, lots of kids have imaginary friends and at worst it was PTSD and would go away. Monday she said it again and was way more descriptic about what it was and the things the voices say and that sometimes they make her do things (she said when they fight it makes her fight). I called her psychaitrist right away and made an appointment. Tuesday on the way to the Dr. I asked her one more time to tell me everything so I could be sure what to tell the doctor. In the office parking lot she told me her brother had touched her again. I panicked, left the office parking lot and drove home to dicuss things with Kelly. We knew she was lying about it, she and her brother had not been alone together long enough for anything to have happened the littlest brother was always in the room too and he is a tattle-tale right now. The 10 yr old brother was questioned and in shock, didn't know what we were talking about and has always fessed-up in the past. Her little brother was questioned and didn't know what we were talking about (breaks down and bawls when caught in a lie usually) and worst Candice's story kept changing. Candice eventually told us she lied to us and her brother did nothing, but not untill we had already put her brothers through hell and the three of us adults were guilt ridden and in anguish.
The story she made up was so detailed and convincing at first. Now her father is afraid to have anything to do with her and quite frankly Kelly and I are at wits end with her. Her behavior is out of control, she dosen't feel bad about anything she does, she can manipulate like a pro, wants constant attention 24/7, she lies and bribes other kids to do her dirty work and laughs if they get in trouble, she distroys property for no reason, she is mean to our Dog, And all of it straight faced. We still have her in with a psychiatrist for medication, but other than that nothing we do works. Kelly and I have tried every form of disciplene we know to try including spanking with no good outcome, love and logic, taking away privilages and belongings--nothing phases her.
I gotta tell ya she scares me and I am starting to scare myself with the way I am starting to feel about her- angry, resentful. I do not know what to do, Kelly and I cry almost everyday. Please tell me someone else has a child like this and how to help her?????
Advice List: For mamafrog1999
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