I agree with DA,  out of honeymoon stage and growing into another stage of your life together with the addition of your new baby.  Some men are jealous for the attention Mom gives to baby and not them!

Men are funny .... at least I think so. With birthing he may be a bit put off *ex due to your labor.  Or, he may just be tired as you are, and  his way to wind down is to watch tv and read the paper. Your way might be to go to bed, cuddle, and talk. Men are Visual Creatures....Do you wear flannels to bed?  If you are nursing, he may be a bit weird about that part of  your body...ya just never know what goes on in another head until you ask.....mind reading or thinking thinking can make one's head  spin....

If  you worked before your baby came, perhaps you miss the social contact of co-workers, and are feeling a bit alone during the day....it does sound from what you've written that he is a good guy, provides, helps, and tells you he loves you...just not giving you the answer You want to hear. Fire works are wonderful, however if it were me, I'd want a good solid friendship along with the trust, love, and support a good friend can bring.

This might be dumb, but I put little notes in my son's lunch box, or sometimes on his pillow....or a chocolate kiss for a treat....an I love you, or I'm proud of you note....perhaps a little suggestion to 'spark his curiousity" when he arrives home....

Check out John Gray Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.  Marriage is not 50 50....it is each person giving 100 100% and some days...he may have 70 and you give 130 and another day you may have 65 and he gives 135...it's just a give and take with kindness, acceptance of the person, and not trying to make them change.  If you don't like something, you can do something to change the situation, not needing to wait for him to make a move.  Plan a lovely Saturday night date, have some fun away from the house, get silly....laughter is the Best Medicine!  :o)

Take care, and all the best to you and new baby!  Simba1

There is a group on here called 'spice up your life' that might me helpful for you, maybe you could join and see what answers you receive.

AJV

I fully understand where you are coming from, but lacking that lusty little spark is just a sign that the "honeymoon period" is over. You have a lot to deal with right now with a little one in your life and it changes things. A lot of people expect that the heightened feelings they have when they are first with someone will stay forever, but the reality is they don't, and a lot of people feel like their relationship is falling apart because of it when it happens. High expectations that it will always be that way is the biggest problem.

There's a difference between a friend and a lover, and a difference between loving and being in love. It sounds like you are best friends and you love each other, just the "in love" is faltering a little because of the new changes and priorities in your lives. This doesn't mean your relationship is going down the gurgler. I've known many people to find they "fall in love" with their partner all over again later down the line after the kids have grown up a bit and things have gotten easier.

The best thing you guys could probably do to get a bit of spark back now and then would be to find a babysitter for a night and have a romantic night together. Go hire a hotel room, hit a nightclub, restaurant, walk on the beach, or whatever gets you going, and just have a night with you and him and no one else, just like you used to do before the baby came along. With the "honeymoon period" over, it doesn't hurt to go on little "honeymoon nights" without the kids to get back a bit of that passion now and then. It'll vanish as soon as the sun rises and you go back to your child, but you can always re-live it again for a night the next time you need it.

Be grateful that you are lucky enough to have a good relationship like you do and appreciate every little thing. Write little notes of appreciation on post-its and stick them around house. If you serve him something to eat, decorate it into a little heart shape or write "I love you" in sauce on his food or something. Pick petals off a daisy and throw them around while skipping and singing out, "He loves me, he love me not, he loves me!" Do all those silly little things that teenagers do when they have a big crush on someone. And don't just do it alone. It'll remind you both why you are together.

And when an arguement starts, stop saying anything. Take a deep breath, think about what you are arguing about and ask yourself this: Is what you are arguing about more important than your relationship? And if it is really silly and petty, laugh out loud, point out how silly it is and tell him you love him even though he gets arguementative over silly things - 'oh hang on, I'm getting arguementative over silly things too! Isn't it great that we're so much alike!' Lighten it up with that kind of thing.

Cheers, DA

Maybe buy some lingerie, and go from there, or sit down one night, and tell him right from the beginning that you don't want an arguement, and want to discuss things like adults.