I think he is trying to atrrct your and his mums attention, if so try to ignore his bed behaviour and praise his good attitudes and go out as two men try to be his friend first like sharing your little secrets and try to talk to him about bed things good things try not be a stepfather just his friend (I know that you would try allready but keep going it takes times)

Good luck to you

Seb

Hang in there. A child takes a very long time to feel secure,keep trying as the rewards will come in a child that feels confident and not bending to self destructive behavior. Not easy but then what is? You'll have to stay ahead of whatever you think he might do and how he might react to keep things calm and safe for him. The suggestions here are very good. Best of luck!

hi there,

sorry to hear your current situation with being a step parent i know from personal experience it can be very difficult exspecially with a high needs child. read my blog...

well there are a few things to cover firstly do you and your partner have a structured daily routine which eliminates the added stress of hungry, tired, bored from your step sons issues. when children don't know whats coming next, day to day they can become very edgy and seem to live as if every nerve in their body is hot wired making it very hard for them to calm down or relax.which in turn ups the stress levels of everyone, parents included.

secondly do you have set family, household rules which if followed have a rewards system and equally have a diciplan if not followed. ie pocket money for chores, special treats for positive attitudes. a good guide for getting this sort of system started in your house would be " the good childs guide" by noel swanson you can find this online.

also what action plans does the boy's dr. have him on for his trauma treatment as this will need to be intergraded into your home routines and rules.

another good resource for step parents is www.steptalk.org .

i hope this has help if you want to discuss any points further please minti mail me i would be glad to help.

 

is it maybe that he is feeling a lil jealous of your relationship with his mother? i know from experience that ppl in step families often think that just becasue they are with the parent they should automatically get along with the child, this just isnt that case. if i were you id try to do one on one things with just him and you. dont make the activities about yourself and what you like to start with let him lead the way and dont put pressure on him or have any expectations that for awhile he will be even a lil bit grateful. hes probably testing you you arent his dad but he probably wants you to love him unconditionally and is trying to get you to prove it by acting out and then seeing what your response is. good luck with it and i hope it all turns out.

Is it possible for you to give one or two examples of Peter's behaviours that lead you to label him as 'self willed' with a 'nasty attitude'? It is easier to help parents change a specific behaviour rather than a label.

I hope today is a better one for your new family. 

Hi there, This can be such a difficult time for all involved . . Here are some links to some articles that may be of use to you and your family . .

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Link 4

I wish you and you family the best of luck . .  Cheers Kellz