i think that being pregnant and having the 18 month old get use to not being picked would help, after all she shouldnt really be getting picked up unless really necessary while mums pregnant.

also maybe she could just show her that if she wants to be picked up she can only have a sit down cuddle on mums knee, show her the scarring and explain it hurts, or ouch if that helps her understand better.

really at 18 mnths its a good age to be making it clear they are getting to old to be picked up to often.

The body has amazing healing properties that we dont fully understand, although your friend should be careful and mindful of her scar she can continue doing what she needs to do....

I had 4 children by c-section 15 months apart followed by a hysterectomy when my youngest was 6 months. There wasnt any 'you can't' I had to do what I had to do. Having said that there are things that I did to make life easier....

I changed the bigger child on the floor it was easier to get up than lift to the change table.

I cuddled when sitting on the lounge and told the kids to be careful of mums sore tummy.

I guided them up onto a chair and got them onto the table to tie shoes or assist with dressing depending on age.

I sat on the loo and assisted them into  and out of the bath.

Tell your friend to take things carefully and slowly, accept help where she can and let her body be her guide.

Best wishes.

I was really honest with my little girl.  I told her that she was a big girl and had to walk as I have to carry baby M since he is so little.  Since I was preggy I told her that I could not pick her up.  (I had preterm labour) and she just got used to it.  Instead I would just hold her while I was sitting down more often...Good luck for your  friend...

why is she having another c section???  i had a natural delivery following a c section...  anyhow -

i would say that you can pick up the other child as long as they know to be careful and not wriggle or jump about...

i can't understand why she's been advised not to!

she just needs to remind the older child that they're bigger and have a very important job as a big brother/sister and as mummy's helper.

involve the older child in helping: passing nappies and stuff, use lots of praise and have lots of cuddles and time together when baby is sleeping.

the key is work to your ability and how you feel, show praise and lots of affection to the older child and keep telling them their new role as the big brother/sister is very very important...

lol xxxx. 

I seem to agree with every one else on this. I wanna say this though i had 2 c section in 12 months and i seemed to manage coming home to look after a new born and a 12months old baby. I still picked up my 12 month old. Everyone is different!

As for the wound reopening i find that a bit strange. Just bec she had  one c section doesnt mean she cant have a normal  birth. I agree witheveryone else.

Although I've never had a c-section (and thus I don't even pretend to be an expert on the subject ) the idea of her scar opening during birth sounds a bit iffy to me, as many people have c-sections (sometimes for medical reasons) and then are fully capable of delivering their next kids via vaginal birth. Is there anything in particular that makes her at risk of re-opening? I would seek a little more info/advice if she really has her heart set on trying to give birth vaginally.  

Thak you guys very much for these responses

With my son, I didn't show him the wound of course but I showed him that mummy had a very very sore tummy, I had him on my lap one on one as much as possible and involved him with bub as much as I could, every time he asked me to pick him up I would tell him again about mummy's sore tummy where the baby came out.... after about a week he was telling everyone else mummy sore tummy.....  It worked for me its amazing how much they do understand.... Oh and my hubby paid him a lot of attention xx

She can always hold him when she is sitting down.  Provided, of course, he isn't kicking her stitches.  I think it's really difficult to explain to kids but it's surprising how much they understand.  When my husband had surgery last year, we just had to keep reminding our almost 2 year old at the time that Daddy needed to sit down before he held him.  It worked like a charm!