Parenting Question and Answers - My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

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avanliamsmum | December 2007

My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

Liam is 10mths old now and he's just started eating well within the past month or so. Problem is, he only likes eating when he can eat it with his fingers himself! He refuses anything I try to give him on a spoon. This kind of restricts what I can feed him, no canned/pureed food for him! Do you think its ok for me to start giving him what we eat? Its frustrating because he makes an absolute mess of himself, but maybe I just have to accept it. Anyone else had a bub who only wants to feed themself? I have tried the 'let him have a spoon too while I feed him' but he's just not keen on being spoon fed.

I think I have forgotten what is ok to feed bubs in regard to finger foods, does anyone have any suggestions? I've just been steaming smallish chunks of pumpkin, potato etc and also giving him banana and toast, and letting him feed it to himself, but would like to know if anyone else has some ideas to keep it interesting.

Thanks!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2007 \| jenlemen

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

i think it's totally okay for him to feed himself at this age. soft things like banana chunks or cheerios especially are fine. the mess is a pain in the butt, but you can always follow up by putting him in the tub to play for a while (and rinse off).

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	December 2007 \| KathrynR1402

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

yes, I have one of those. Big sister is eating up the puree from the freezer! Under a year they still need to get most of their nourishment from milk, so a little drop in their food intake while learning to self feed is fine. Pears, sliced or not, are handy. Mine also coped fine with strips of ham, pasta, spagetti, bread, cheese etc. I had accidentally fallen into baby-led weaning, which I realised later on. It is probably worth reading up the advice Cheekymonkey wrote:.http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/6720/Baby-led-weaning-and-the-introduction-to-solid-foods/ and following up the links. As with everything with kids, go with the flow, dont waste energy fighting unnecessary battles!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2007 \| gorach

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

let him go for it! put a big sheet under his highchair and give him what your eating but just chop it up a bit more!

the more fun dinner time is the less hassles long term and as long as he is actually eating and not just throwing it or playing i would just let him explore his new found skill!

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2007 \| ginni

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

Hi both my children wanted to feed themselves from a simlar age as your son, and they have done from that point. i had wooden floors but a large cream rug, which got very messy, so i bought a party table cloth and put it under the high chair at meal times. It was easy to wipe clean and folded up away, also saving my rug, without spoiling my childrens fun experimenting with diffrent foods. Also they always eat the same foods as us from around 10 months, as this stops them being fussy with there food later on in life. (and saves you having to make more than 1 meal). Oviously i was careful with nuts and shell sea food. Let him have fun and enjoy his messy food. Good luck, hope the advice helps x

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2007 \| Kellzacar

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

Hi honey,

I went through this with my now 8 yr old and I am going through it again with Sumara . . . My advice is just let him go. Put a big bib on him and let him have some fun . . Yes, this is going to be messy but at least he is having a go and he will get some of it in his mouth. Sumara is only now finally letting us give her some ourselves and she is now 18 months . .GRRR

It's great to have such an independent young man - I know of many bubs who simply refuse to feed themselves at all; some are no longer bubs and are still being fed by mum and dad at 4 yrs . . . .

Cheers Kellz

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2007 \| lillkatheryn

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

When my girl was small someone told us to take like slices of mango, watermelon, and such and freeze them. This was prefect as they could naw on it and it would not only help with their teeth, if they were hot, but also alow them to eat it on their own. Also since it's frozen there is a smaller chance of large peices coming off. Just watch them though as it can get messy...

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2007 \| Arna

Re: My son only wants to feed himself, doesn't like being spoon fed

Seeing as he is going to make a mess any way, why not let him try and spoon feed himself. Babies can be pretty dexterous when they want to be. I'm assuming he has a few teeth by now, so most foods are ok, just got to watch him.

To minimise the mess, I would strip him off down to his nappy, that way you don't have to spend ages cleaning stains out of clothes, and can just wash him down with a cloth.

Let him explore his food and enjoy himself. We have found that by allowing our girls this freedom at meal times, they are less fussy with their food.

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