I have an almost 3 year old and he understands plenty. My heart aches for your 2 year old daughter. To spare damage to her self-esteem and self worth, please urge your husband to get into an anger management therapy and parenting class.

Your husband has serious issues that will not solve itself. He needs to get these issues resolved and taken care off for the sake of his daughter and your other kids.

Well theres a to do. In my view your husband is damaging your childrens self esteem and confidence in themselves, the longer this goes on the deeper it goes. Sorry but if your husband spoke to you the way he does to the children then it damages them and will I guarentee start to eat away at your own self esteem, in little way's. I had a loving and even tempered Father andf Mother, however we had an Uncle who was much as you describe your husband, We loved our Uncle. The down side was that we spent alot of time in this mans company and he chipped away at our confidence and self esteem. As my Mothers Brother we were encouraged to forgive him his behaviour, because of his traumatic childhood. So all through our childhood we suffered the indignities of being called useless, brainless, F-ingBs and believe me worse but he never laid a finger on us. Our parents gave us a balance as they would counter anything he said. However although successfull in our lives, my siblings and I each in turn suffered breakdowns as Adults we each entered therapy and it turned out that we all suffered from low self esteem on the inside and it had been eating away at us over the years. With out the therapy and the support of our parents life could have been worse if this Uncle had been our Father. Each of us felt useless and nothing but a waste of space, we could not believe that we were worth loving, and that our Parents were deluded in their perception of us and to end it all seemed like a very good Idea. So what could life be like to have a Father who eats away at a childs self. I would encourage your husbamd to realise he is not coping with his past and it is seeping out onto his children and partner and urge him to seek help and support for his anger ,Urgently before the rot sets in. Sorry if I seem harsh but this is all your futures here, his included.

Luv Winnie.xx

Well, first off I have to say  "Keep Up The Good Work"for the 99.9 % of the time, he sounds like a "Super Dad"and this needs to be said, also well done to you for also acknowledging this side of him, I believe your Qestion was written incredibly diplomatically especially considering if all this only happened today you will be somewhat emotionally effected by it.

I would suggest that you ask your hubby to go to some parenting classes with you, there are often Tripple P parenting classes etc. that happen (your child health is a good place to find out) and they're often free or very in-expensive.  OR he gets some anger management.  I am asumeing becase he had a crappy childhood he might want to do anything he can to prevent his kids from having one as well, even part of the time, he may also personally (I don't doubt at all) from some counselling for his own experience, perhaps coming to terms with his own demons will release the pent up snap temper emotions in him for good.

If he wont do any of these things, video him acting this way and when he is calm again, re-play it for him and then re-ask him to do soething positive about it before it is too late.  These are incredibly formative years especially around 2.  They mould their behaviours and most often it is from copying their parents.  Your daughter may either become quick tempered and abusive or very meek and insecure and detached from her father, and neither of these are what you want for your child.  Show him this if you want, maybe it'll help him realise.  We all need to modify our behaviours whenever we change our relationships, from a partner/wife etc to a child or children to a child of 1 then 2 then 3 etc.... we need to constantly evolve to keep up and this hopefully means learning from our errors and making positive changes in ourselves that benefit everyone.  Having said this, everyone is allowed to get pissed off and upset, it's how and where we chose to direct it that is the important thing.

I wish you all well and Merry Christmas xo