hi, i too am suffering postnatal depression this is my 4th baby who is currently 8 weeks old.i became very angry towards my partner and could not make sense of my life.  i have started anti-depressants and feel i have some normality back. however this is my second lot of pills so what works for some may not be the right ones for others. i can now atleast smile again and i dearly love my partner who i was so quick to hate.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way.  Having a baby is so stressful and then to feel like you don't have any hope about feeling better.  You WILL feel better.  Have faith in that and keep telling yourself that you have lots of people here on Minti that have been through the exact same thing as you.  You are not alone.

i think the diagnosis only helps if it leaves with the sense that you can have hope now, since you know what's going on.  if not, i say don't worry about the diagnosis and try to do something you love every single day.  little by little you will feel like yourself again.  i think six months is enough time to tune in and realize just how tired/down you are from the transition.  sometimes you're in a fog before then.  hang in there!!!  and keep talking about how you are feeling.

Hi there,

I was in exactly the same boat as you when my now 15 month old was 6 months.  It took me that long to realise I had a 'problem' so to speak.  I completely understand your frustration as I have the happiest baby in the world, a loving husband who NEVER gets angry and does everything to make me happy (except clean up after himself which is just a male thing) and I was still like a bear with a headache EVERY day screaming at him when he walked in the door.  I used to get angry when my daughter cried at night, not thinking that she might just be crying cos something was wrong.  Anyway you are certainly not alone and do not feel ashamed.  I asked the doctors the same question - if i have so much to be happy for and nothing to be sad about then why do I feel this way?  It is something you just cant seem to explain but I tell you, 5 months on zoloft fixed me and I have been off them now for 3 months and have never looked back.  It will and does get better, dont feel like you have let anyone down - you have done the right thing by talking to the doc about it.... I wish I knew about this website when I was going thru this!  Just make sure you take time out for YOU each day, even if it is only half an hour or so....it is something!!

Love Renee

Your feelings are perfectly normal for somone with PND, my daughter is the same and is doing well on her meds.

I feel guilty because I am bipolar and worry if its connected...worry comes with depression....could of, would of, should of....

Actually the only thing I havent done and feel may have helped was kicking her hubby up the proverbial you see it wasnt the baby it was her losing her rose coloured glasses that triggered her, seeing hubby for the selfish immature man that he is not to mention mumma's boy but I digress.

It doesnt matter what triggered it, it happened, take your meds and see the light at the end of the tunnel, know in your heart that its the right thing to do for yourself and your family. Anti-depressants arent life long medication unless your have several severe bouts and your Dr will monitor you for that, my daighters dr said 6 months to a year, in a life time thats a blink. Also make sure you look after yourself as well as your family as females and especially as mothers we tend to put everyone first and think of ourselves as second and selfish if we take time out  but thats not true, to nurture ourselves through a hobby, special interest project or bubble bath reminds us of how special we are and what an important role we play which we cant do if we go under.... know in your heart you are not a failure and that tehre are many women like myself who wish they had been diagnosed years before so that life wouldnt have been so hard.

Best wishes.

Motherhood and depression...  jeez o pete.  It's so absurd to go through depression.  Therapy only made it quite obvious that I had no REASON to have the disorder.  So, my doctor called it hormonal and I'm on anti-depressants now.  I am able to think so much more clearly and have much better control of my self.  Great for me, great for the family.  Oh, but it was hard to get that first script and take those first pills.  Major feeling of failure, although to be honest, I look at it as a decision that I made for my family, and my husband is grateful ;)  There's been nothing scary on this side of the medication for me, but I do think that I'll give life a go med free in the near future - good luck!!

Hi

I suffered with PND didn't know what it was at the time just knew I wasn't myself even my friends had noticed I had changed but didn't say anything until I mentioned it.  Like you I lost all interest in sex and just didn't know how to be happy (for eg: if I had won the lottery at that time I would still have been depressed) I found myself getting forgetful needing to do lists so I would remember what I had to do and feeling tired no drive to go out or do any housework or plan meals.  The worst bit for me was losing my temper I couldn't control my agression and it got me into fights with neighbours etc and this made me worse because I would then become withdrawn into myself as I felt no one understood me.   Am I making any sense?? I thought there were other ways to get over PND other than anti depressants I tried counselling and fish oils and Kalms and various herbal remedies but none which were as effective as the anti depressants.  I know you may get some people who say you need to get out more,  make new friends or join a keep fit club but PND is a state of mind and when you suffer with it, it can be very difficult to pull yourself out of that rut.   So don't be embarassed to ask for help when I told everyone what was happening it was funny how many other people suddenly came out of the woodwork and said they also suffered or had suffered with it.  Only you can make the decision that will help you recover from PND and even if you tried to make your partner understand be prepared for the fact that he may not understand most people who have never suffered with depression find it difficult to understand it.   If you ever want to chat you can always email me,  Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Hi

There is a light at the end of the tunnel but due to the economic recession it has been turned of and we have to find it in the dark.   Eitehr that or the train aint on time again.....

There are a lot of us in the same boat to differnet degrees and the way you are feeling is totally normal....

I am on anti depresants and have a lot of days where i reckon they aren't working but miss taking them for a day or 2 and you know they are lol

My husband has taken time of as well to help me cope. 

Do not feel a failure as that is a sure way to beat yourself up.  I thought i was stronger than this too.  I coped as a single mum for over 6 years with everything life threw at me So i have trouble understanding why i can no longer cope at all

Talk to your husband he is not a mind reader.  He doesn't know how you are feeling

All he will probably be seeing is this strong woman is now a blithering sook to put it lightly. and not be understanding anything at all

That is how my hubby was until i realised luckily enough i needed help.  It took my throwing a knife at my teenage daughter (luckily enough i realised i had a knife in my hand and threw it downwards rather than actually at her) and collapsed on the kitchen floor in tears and shaking

My daughter ran out of the house and got the next door neighbour who had been through it and knew what was happening with me.

How i wasn't put i the nut house that night i still don't know because i felt i was nuts and still have days i feel the same way

My baby is now 27 months old and tonight is the first time i have ever been totally alone with her for more than 2 hours. We have had fun playing tidy up time and cleaning her room and the house of her toys

She is now asleep All i have to get through now is until about 4pm tomorrow when her Dad and brother get home as they are away for the night.

I am becoming more aware of my trigger factors and am starting to avoid them.  It has been a long hard road but with support from my family and friends i am getting there

Feeling suicidal is usually when you hit the bottoma nd see no way out

You see a way out you jsut need support to get there

Accept you have depression and work towards slowly feeling better and taking one day at a time and you will eventually feel normal and happy

Some  recover easy some take years and some never fully recover

I have found minti and writting how i feel works best for me as i can look at it from anothers eyes as if i have not written it and give myself the advice i would give if someone else wrote it

Email me if youw ant to talk more....

Luv Deb

hi,

i was recently diagnosed with PND as well and felt very much the same as you do, sexdrive out the door, very clumsey. i also am very forgetful,teary. i love hubby and both my girls (17 1/2months & 6months). i was advised to take an anti depressant which i did and had a reaction to it. i really didnt want to take it but thought give it a go. ive tried acupunture which has helped, ive joined the gym which has also helped. my clinic nurse has also suggested fish oil tablets and take the recommended dose. i have been feeling a bit better, she did say it can take while before it really kicks in. so maybe give it a go. try not to think about it too much otherwise you will really do your head, i found i was thinking about it and i just felt worse. try to keep yourself occupied as much as possible.

goodluck, chin up and think positive.

sam

Hun, Don't let the label of PND rule your life.  It is very common, I know, I suffered with it for 4 1/2 years.  You need to take time for yourself where you are doing things just for you that you enjoy.  Don't think that's being selfish, it is one way of you feeling better about yourself.

Get a support network behind you.  They should be people you trust and get on well with.  Call them when you are at breaking point, or before, just for a pick me up and get it off my chest chat.  use this site to blog how you feel and what you are experiencing.  If you don't want to share it on here, then read this article on wrting.  I think it will have some info in it for you that might help.  Writing is a form of therapy, and it will help you see how you are progressing and what areas need working on.

If you can, take a walk.  A nice, gentle stroll in the sun, though make sure it is before 10 am and after 3pm.  Sunlight is a natural pick me up and combined with the walking can help you a lot.  It also means you are out of the house and not feeling so confined.

Join a playgroup.  They can be a great source of support and you can have adult conversations too.

Get into counselling.  They can helpl you more, and can even help your partner understand what you are going through.

There is no over night cure, but over time, things do get better, but you have to be pro active about it..

Good luck hun, and I hope that you are feeling better soon.  You can always minti mail me.

i've got a few articles on my homepage as i have gone through PND for the last 6 years.

you will get better. I have. it does take time and a bit of work. I would definately talk to you hubby about it as you do need to have some slack cut for you. My hubby has taken the last 2 years off work to look after me. I am now going to school to become a teacher.

if you have been given anti deps take them. they will help reduce the anxiety. and they help witht the sex drive as well.

if you ever want to chat feel free to minti mail me.

Liz