hi,

my husband has two children to a previous relationship and to start with when i first came on the scene his daughter HATED me, she when to the length of cutting up my underwear, writing nasty letter to me telling er dad i called her nasty name the whole kit!!!

his son at first was very quiet and didnt have an opinion on anything!!!!

now i get along fine with his daughter but his son drives me insane!!!

same thing... my stepson told me that he hates me and he didnt wannt me and his dad to get married. he gives me backchat he expects everything and does nothing, he wont use manners with me or say anything without giving me a dirty look with it,

i have put it down to "it a boy thing"  i have spoken to his father about it and his father usually says that "im picking on him"  or im not trying to get along with him,

find out what it is that drives the kid crazy........ everytime he does somthing to annoy you do somthing to annoy him back, sound extreemly childish but i found it works!!!!

let him know that you arnt going away and he is going to have to deal with the fact your there, let him know if he if going to be nasty to you that you will be nasty back to him,

dont let his father know straight away what you are doing just let him know that you are trying a new stratigy to see if you can "connect " with him

play the game of a 6 year old but beat him at it and he will get the picture, that you can be just as nasty if not nastier than he can be , but if he want to be nice you can be just as nice or nicer.... let him choose which he would prefer... nasty or nice?

reward charts are good too, if he does somthing for you you will reward him with whatever options.... it will make him learn the value of "working and getting somthing in return"

it sounds very childish and nasty the advice i just give you but at worse he will be the same as he is now or he will relise you are going to play games baack and he will figure out that being nice to you will get him further!!

good luck mate

step kids are really hard !!!!

As your husband's wife , and as a Step parent I feel you have every right to be upset. They can't pick and choose which areas of their life they want you to be a part of. It's all or nothing. As a step parent , as far as schooling and such I've had no problems , as the bio-mom isnt as involved in her children's education as I feel she should be , and hubby works constantly , so I take care of most schooling issues.

I would deffinately talk to hubby. If it doesn't seem important to him for you to be introduced to the child's teacher, then it isnt important for you to help with homework, or to wake up early in the morning to get the child off to school, or to make lunch ect..  I know this sounds hard , even cruel but I've done it.

At 6 yrs old the child knows what he's doing but he may not fully understand that this hurts your feelings, tell him. Children think like children , they dont always know when they've made you mad , hurt your feelings or upset you. Tell him " I was really hoping you would introduce me to your teacher lastnight. I was disappointed and hurt that you didnt. Maybe next time we can talk to your teacher together."

I wish you all the luck with this , I know how hard being a step parent can be.

XOXO

Tracy

As a stepmother, I totally know how you are feeling.  I have been a stepmother to my husbands kids for 6 years now.  My stepson has lived with us for 4 years.  He came to me at 12 and is now 16.  So hormones are all the rage right now...

But, enough about me.  Well sort of...when he came to live with us, I was adamant about hubby doing the discipline.  Eventually that went out the window cuz I am around more than him but at the tender age of 6, it is important for your hubby to do the discipline.  But, you need to be a part of the decision making process with regards to the discipline. 

As far as the rudeness displayed by both your hubby and stepson, unacceptable.  I think you need to talk to your husband and let him know how it made you feel.  And let him know how it makes you look in the eyes of your stepson.  If your husband ignores and disrespects you, then so will your stepson.  Clearly that is happening.

As for the teacher, well, speak up.  Some times men just don't think about those things (introducing you to others).  The teacher should have introduced herself to you or at least said hello.  Wonder what was said by the bio-mom before you got there? 

Do you have a relationship with her?  You might even try talking to her.  If your stepson lives with you and you are providing a lot of his care, then she would want what is best for him.  She may be an ally to get your stepson to show you a bit more attention.

All the best to you.  Angela

Welcome to Motherhood/the sideways way!  You'll be at husbands side and kiddo's side and guess who is in the middle. Yup, YOU.  A child, depending on his/her age will most times will blame themselves for a breakup. A child will most time have the fantasy of "M&D" getting back together again so  "they will be off the hook".  So just be nice, leave discipline up to Dad, but stand your ground when it comes to being rude. In my book, both husband, child and teacher need lessons in politeness.

Hey there :)

well if i were you, i'd definately be upset. There is a lack of manners coming from your husband and it sems to be rubbing off onto your stepson, I think you might have to talk to hubby about it, not telling him anything bad about them but by saying that you would like to introduce politeness and gratitude into your household, ask to be treated equally like you do with them, Start with Please and Thankyou, dont do anything for a person unless they say Please (make sure you also get into the habit of it) if they dont say please remind them with " what do we say?"

or repeat what they say and add the word "please"

As for your husband not introducing you as his wife, i would have said it there and then "Arent you going to introduce me?" and leave it to him, or just introduce yourself as HIS WIFE and Stepmother.

hope this helps a little.

I can't get over the teacher ignoring you. If she did not hear you it would be acceptable but to ignore you is unacceptable and also your husband not introducing you is not fair. You must talk to him about this and let him know how you feel. This is all about communication between you. His son is only 6 so I can understand this. Your husband should have said something to him. All I can say is if you are not getting the appreciation then you need to stick up for you if he doesn't. My boyfriend would not let his children treat me like that so this is something that you need to talk to your husband about. Not when you are upset but when you have alone time. You are important too. Minti mail or send a friend request if you like. I can see you are very hurt!