Hi everyone, 9 months later and i am proud to say I stuck with it and am still breastfeeding full time.

Thank you to everyone for your answers and support!

xoxo

You really have to do what is right for your family.

I am not sure how formula will make it easier as it sounds like hard work to me. But I only did that for 2 weeks (longest 2 weeks!)

Breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone unfortunately. It doesn't mean you should feel guilty, you just do what is right for you and your family. Guilt helps no one.

Is there anyone who could help  you out with the other kids? If you can afford it maybe you could even hire someone to do an hours cleaning or look after the other children in your home for a couple hours a day so you have less pressure.  Could your husband take some paid leave?

Whatever you decide to do just go with it. Respect your decision, you aren't failing just because you decide to do something different to what you originally planned.

Im all for breastfeeding and doing whatever you can to make it work for you. If it isn't working for you then its just going to make it harder to bond with bubs and give all your love and attention to your kids. Thousands of babies thrive on formula and have a great bond with their mothers.

Best wishes Sarsie

Have you tried a sling? That way you can keep moving around and doing what you need to do and he can be attached at the same time.

Hope things get easier.

Dont feel like u have failed or that u are selfish.

When Bodhi was 2 weeks old i started putting him on formula for a couple of feeds a day. He was a big baby & ate heaps. Some days i was just feeding all day. He would feed for around 30mins every hour or so. I started to feel like a vending machine or something. I got very stressed out & would cry.

I think its better that u are not stressed & happy. If u get to stressed it can affect ur milk supply anyway. This is what happened with me. It can be such a stressful thing especially when ur baby is still so young & u have other children to care for aswell.

Women are made to feel like they have failed if they cant or or choose not to breast feed. Just remember it is ur body & ur sanity. Ur baby will be just as happy & healthy if u choose to put him on formula. U wont loose ur bond with him.

I hope everything works out for u

Ok, this is your life; your baby; your family; your decision... The only guilt you have will be that which you put upon yourself.

I know the girls are very young and need you too, why don't you ask them what they think about you breastfeeding?  Explain to them that you know it takes up a lot of time, but you think it is the best nutritioin for bubs?  See what they think.

You could also try to have the best of both worlds, and maybe do a morning and afternoon feed, and supplement in between.

The most important thing is that the kids have a happy, healthy mum looking after them, so you do what feels best for you.

Hi there!

I hated breast feeding!! I didn't feel that bond, it hurt as i could not get the knack of it no matter who tried to help, my breasts leaked contstantly and I felt like a huge, wet, drippy jersey cow!

I know that there is evidence to back up that breast is best for the baby but in my opinion, your milk can only be as good as what you are putting in your mouth. If u r eating crap all day etc, then your milk certainly wont be top quality, will it! Breast feeding is hard, u have to think about everything u eat incase it affects the baby.

The fact is, if u are not enjoying it, finding it hard or simply dont want to do it anymore then don't, They are your boobs aren't they??

Sure as hell dont feel guilty about it tho, its your choice and yours only!

jo

Sounds like a tough decision and it sounds like you have decided  formula is the best answer in your situation. BUT is there any reason that you can't do both? Sitting down occassionally with your feet up while you breastfeed gives you a break and means baby is still getting some breastmilk (and you get some rest and bonding time). Congratulations on breastfeeding all three of your children. I only have one child and don't know how I would possibly cope with more than one.

What ever you decide will be for you and your familys benefit and that of your son. Formula feeding will not brak the bond you have so please do not stress too much. This does not mean that you are a failure by no means that is certain.  I bottle fed all my 10 children and i still had and do have abond with them all. You bonded woith your son even before he was born hun so you do what is right for you do not let anyone tell you that you should not do this or that. Only you can really make the decision for yourself and your family. Formula feeding will also benefit the whole family as they can all help with feeds if you are busy doing something. My children all enjoyed being able to feed their brother or soster when they were born. They all have a special bond that no one can ever break.

Hugs Michelle xxx ooo

congrats firstly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey mate you are not being selfish at all. its your choice and your choice only!!!! you are not a failing mother (whatever choice you make). i never breatfed my children at all and proud i am a bottle mum and i have bonded with my children just as much as breastfed children. it all comes down to personal choice and whats best for you.

Good luck

tassiebiarch xx

Wow what a response you have received - I too want to let you know that whatever you choose will be best.  We were given the best advice on this when our daughter was around the same age and I was struggling with the breast v's bottle thing and that was that a happy mum is so much better for baby than breast milk.

I reckon go with what you feel is best for your family..... Being stressed etc wont be good for Bubby any-how so perhaps you need to go bottle. It is your call Hunni

Blessings Flossy XX

Oh hun.  It sucks when things don't work the way you want!  You have to do what you are comfortable with.  If that means ditching the boob for formula, then do it.  A month of breastfeeding is a good boost to his immune system, and the milk you would have produced over this time is very nutrional, overly so sometimes, and usually settles down after a few months.

You will never lose your bond with your baby just 'cos you decide on the bottle.  Actually, he can see your face better, is less likely to get distracted on feeds ('cos he can see what is going on) and your smile will be seen more easily.  The other benefits are that you can pass him onto someone else to feed while you go to the loo or hang up the washing.

They say breast is best, but I don't agree.  Caring for your child and ensuring they are well fed, clothed and have a roof over their heads is best.  As is the love you give them, and if that means you have to got to formula, then it is a decision made out of love for him (and your sanity!)

Breastfeeding is the hardest part of having a baby and I feel that there is too much emphasis on it and not enough help to get it right.  With my first, I had a midwife that was rather cranky because I didn't get it first go!

Hi you have already been given so much great advice I just wanted to say this .You have already given Jakob the best start by giving him breast for a month,I found when I was breast feeding  my 3rd and 4th I could not produce enough milk to settle them so had to make the choice of putting them on formula,we were all much happier baby and I.What ever the choice you make I dont think you are being selfish  at all,a stressed mummy sometimes not the best mummy.

                                                                 Cham

Hey Angie,

Becca has already given you fantastic advice, so there isn't too much I can add. I just wanted to add my support and let you know that no matter what you choose don't feel stupid. We all have our limits and we have to do what's best for ourselves because in the long run we are then doing the best for our children. I formula fed both my boys and yes it's alot of work with the sterelising, heating etc but as long as you get a routine going it becomes like second nature and you don't even think about it all that much. Plus my boys and I have an amazing bond that doesn't come down to the way you feed them but your whole connection with them throughout their lives.

You need to do what makes you happy and comfortable.

Amanda xxxx

No No No No No. I fed Alex till he was 6 weeks and put him on the bottle and Charlie was 4 months ( she was the size of a 2 month old) I am pro breast, but you need to do what is best for you. If you feel it is too much for you go bottle. bottle means the whole family can bond with him while feeding. Alex used to help me feed Charlie and he was 2.

This DIDNOT take away my bond for my children either. There are only medical reasons to breastfeed. you still bond just as well on bottle fed bubs.

minti mail me if you want.

Luv Liz

IN the end the decision is up to you. There is a lot to consider. BF take a bit longer in the early weeks but in the long run as bub gets more efficient it takes a hell of a lot less time the FF will. Yes hubby can do some feeds and even other people can but most of the time it still falls on you to do it. You still have to sterilise and boil water, prepare bottles and heat them up. And on top of that you have to add the cost of formula as well as the risks associated with using formula.

The early weeks are hard especially if it's not your first child. Sometimes things have just got to be let go. Could oyu spend more time with the girls if other stuff around the house was done? Is there some things you can let go for a while or small chores your girls can do to help out. Can someone do some freezer meals so you don't have to cook? Can your hubby do bath etc with bub so you can do some stuff with your girls? Can he take him for a walk or give him a massage?

You can also contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association for ideas on how to cope with everything. They have a few booklets with ideas on how to manage BF and your family.

After you've considered everything you can make an informed choice. Do what is best for you and your family.

Good Luck

angie

with caitlin i breast feed but i was getting to stressed so hubby said change to formula and i didnt loose the bond she is three and still is a mummy girl and josie was bottle feed from the start she is one now and she is a mummy girl . your other two may want some mummy time so you could get your partner to feed jakob well you spent time with the other two so they dont miss out on mummy time . do what will make you happy and less stressed .

love belxx

Well, yes, it is time consuming but why wouldn't bottle feeding be as well?  You still have to sit there and feed him or are you suggesting that your partner could help with the feeding?  Maybe he can help with the other kids more.  I know it's hard i found it difficult when feeding and then my two year old would call me from the toilet...lol....but im glad i continued with it, as overall i think it's easier.

They do feed a lot in the beginning but it does get easier and this is just a small moment in time.  I know my opinion will probably differ to most comments on here but i just found it more convienent, no preparation and ready on call. 

Look whatever you decide you are NOT failing, NOT being selfish and if it is stressing you out then your milk will diminish anyway and that will not be best for you or Jakob.

I completely understand , i felt like my house was falling down around me in the early months with Kaelan but in the end housework doesn't matter, try setting up your other kids with food, activities etc before you settle down to Breastfeed.  Have things on hand like the phone (if it should ring), water, wipes whatever it is to make it easier.  You could get one of those hippy sling thingys that Mums use and the baby can just lie in there and feed, then it would be easy to move around if you needed to.  Do you know the ones i mean, they are like a big chunk of cloth and go around over one shoulder.

Hope this helps and good luck with your decision.  Muwah!!

if mama aint happy, aint no one happy, if it is stressing you out then either talk to someone to get some help around the house or stop doing it. there are other ways to keep the bond, i stoped feeding rhiannon on the second day and did baby massage, she still stops still when i do it at 17months. only now she reminds me to do it by saying "aww nan-nan" (as in her name) there is no problem with bonding a formula feed baby as long as you are willing to put in the effort. ::)'s from becca!

Hi...No not selfish, rather, 'self-caring'.  If you feel stress so do all your children, not to mention the body, mind and spirit of your daily existance.  You've done what you could, given what you can, and now face with truth, the difficulty of the situation to be addressed.

What works for mom, works for the family, cause if Mom isn't happy no one else is either

Guilt is a waste of energy!

Breastfeeding is crazy! I had  no idea. I just had my first and with 2 other kids, I can't imagine what you are going through. 

Don't think you are selfish because you are considering formula! You're looking out for what is best for the entire family. There are ways to bond with your child without the breastfeeding... Don't be so hard on yourself.

But... one thing I would ask before you go for the bottle is do you think it'll get better?  Did breastfeeding get easier after a few weeks with your first two kids?  One mama of 2 gave me advice when I was struggling breastfeeding.  She said to make it past week 6 and all would be good.  I have to say, she was right. 

Good luck with whatever decision you make.  

hey sweetie, I don't think you are failing at all. I did not get to bf my girl for more then 2 weeks, and though I bottle fed her, I still snuggled her like I do with my son, and he is bf.  If it's not something that is working with you, there is nothing wrond with switching.  You could even try going half and half.  Like ulternate between the two.  I know it's hard as he is still so little, but I think also he will be eating about the same frequency as with the bottle.  Either way, you will still be able to have the bond, and don't feel down sometimes we just can't do what we think we will do...But you are doing great and I know whether it be a bottle or from the breast, that time with your son, that bond you share, nothing will take that away!

Hunni,

if your stressed.... then that in turn will effect Jakob and your girls..... 

I went thru something like that with my number 3.... and i ended up putting her on formula... At the time i thought i was failing her as a mother, but in the end, it was the best thing i did for everyone....

Chin up....

Hugs

Frogie xox 

Hey, Your not failing. If it is stressing you out and your not being able to get anything else done maybe try expressing your milk so thats its done and then you have more time for other things.I dont think turning to formula would be a bad thing, i only plan on breastfeeding for the first few weeks. So no i dont think your being selfish and i dont think you willlose your bond with your baby.You can still hold your baby close while bottle feeding. I hope it all works out,which ever way you choose to go.

Dannii xxo