You have a psychological issue here that is making you think that you are the cause of not being able to have children.  Weight can be a factor, but if you are in the healthy weight range for your height, then losing too much weight could make you infertile too.

You need to see a councillor about the way you see yourself and maybe join a self esteem group where they can better help you to manage your lifestyle and the way you see yourself.  Hun, if you can't love yourself, then how are you going to love a child?  We have to first love and respect ourselves and be happy in who we are before we can expect others to love, respect and be happy about who we are.

There is a big problem!!! I don't know if you believe this when you tell yourself this but it's not a great motivator. You are putting yourself down and though it may be a motivator now, it won't be for long.

In anything in life, a greater motivation is a promise of something positive and wonderful reward in the end. What happens when you can't lose the weight that you would like to? What would you tell yourself then? That you don't deserve to have a child? uh-uh... stop this now!

There may not be a direct relationship between you loosing weight and being able to have a child.

Maybe you can think of it in a positive way. Make yourself healthy so that when you finally conceive, your baby will be housed in a happy healthy body.

Good luck!