From my experiences i have learnt to hear everyones advice but not necessarily listen to the advice.  If what she suggests sounds reasonble give it a go, if not then just forget it and do your own thing.  You should be doing whatever feels right for you.

My ex mother in-law would always start her sentences with "What you should be doing is..." it drove me crazy until i learnt to tune out...

By reading your question sweet....your mother-in-law does compliment you on how your bringing up your son, which is great.

You have been given some excellent advice here, it is up to you what advice you want to take on board....like all the others i would say, accept the advice she gives with a smile...but if there is something she says that you completely dis-agree with....i would let her know nicely that you prefer to do, this way.

I think all mother-in-laws, mean well but sometimes they can be over the top.

I wish you well. Cheers Janice

It sounds like you have a very carng Mother In Law and she obviously thinks you are doing a great job so I wouldn't woryy.  Take her advice on board- it may well be good advice- but that doesn't mean you have to necessarily follow it. (just like the advice given on this website really!!)  I don't think she is giving you advice because she thins you're not doing a good job already :)

ok i am similar to cassaustin...except with my inlaws its best to just take the advice and say thanks.... will keep it in mind for next time! I think the best way to go is to swallow your pride and accept the advice and say "thanks for your advice....will keep it in mind for next time! I appreciate the help." and then just forget about it if you don't like the advice! This way you are keeping the grandys happy and you are happy to because there is no conflict!

Hope this helped a little

My MIL is like that sometimes.

Sometime you can do no wrong, other times you can do no right.

I have a good relationship with my inlaws thou (most of the time) and i want to keep it that was so I always listen to what she has to say, if i agree or i think her way would be easier / quicker or whatever then i take her advice. If i dont like what she has said, i tell her i will think about it, or just tell her i am happy doing it the way i am.

She only wants what is best for her family, sometimes they just dont realise that they are overstepping the mark i think.

Cass xx

You should always look as if you are listening... :) That is all...  You don't have to do...

Your baby your way... :)

But you should at least look as if you are listening. That is if it is not a pain in the bum.. If it is trouble then you should say something, but if not just let her go say what she wants, smile and say thanks if you feel the need...

But just look like you are listening.. Works with my husband, he always looks like he is listening to me, keeps me happy... :)

If you are a new parent, you will get a lot of unwanted advice - some good, some not so good, some bad. It is up to you who you want to listen to, and who you want to ignore. Do what is right for you and your child and your immediate family.

I for one am not one for conflict, so if a relative tells me something that I don't agree with, I smile, say thank you, and then just ignore the advice.  But if your in-law is constantly telling you something, it may be hard to ignore though.

You are the parent and you know your child best, keep that in mind.

It doesn't matter where it comes from, or what it's about, accept all the advice offered to you with a smile and only use what makes sense to you, discard the rest.

It's just a mother-in-law thing I suspect, they always know what is best, that's why you sit there wondering why your partner does such quirky things and stuffs up so much, because his mother was so perfect and all-knowing that there's nothing wrong with her kids! LOL Mind you, they also often have a lot of valuable knowledge to pass on as well as they have been there done that. It's just a pity that some forget that they raised their kids in a different time and era to our kids and some things have changed.

If your boy is indeed a happy contented little thing, then you must be doing something right, so don't stress out over it.

It can be useful to get some input, but basically how you raise your kids is up to you. Always trust your own instincts. If she is interferring too much, have a talk to her about it. Sometimes grandparents (especially grandmothers) just want to help but don't realise they are going  overboard.

See i dont let anyone tell me how to raise my children not my MIL and nor my mother and i like it. they are my kids and i will raise them how ever i want,i told them.My MIL tried to interfear to many times and it ended up being one massive fight,and within that fight i told her to mind her own business i will raise them how i want them to be raised and now they don't say anything every now and again she will try and say something but i switch off she no's i switch off cause she shuts up.

Our parents/inlaws have all raised there children,now its our turn. my husband wasnt raised the right way so why would i want her advice she should relise that cause she no's she stuffed up

its up to you how you take it. If you don't like then tell her. otherwise keep going how you are

I have the same kinda problem, I'm sure many others do too! Its really frustrating when they say one thing, then say something completely opposite the next. I find its easier just to listen to her advice, nod, say "I'll remember that" or something, then do what I thought was right. You know your child best!

I feel for you! It seems as though from the moment you conceive people who used to seem relatively normal suddenly follow you around pecking and picking.

Grandma should be respected, appreciated and loved, but she should never be allowed to make you feel belittled or disrespected. It sounds like you've got a good one! She just can't help herself. My own dear sweet non-judgmental Mom is the same way. Plus, it's nice for her to feel needed.

I just commented on this very same thing somewhere else. Here's what I said:

I'm thinking I will get a tabbed binder together with sections for all my parenting choices that contain leaflets with the supporting research, etc, that contributed to me making that choice. When people harp on me for something I'll just get out my binder and hand them a leaflet. Not only will it be educational for them, hopefully it will send a message.

I  think that most people are definitely trying to be helpful rather than nasty, but I think that the constant barrage of little or big concerns expressed by family, friends and strangers can chip away at your confidence and make you feel on the defensive instead of the relaxed Mama you want to be. As Moms it seems we are constantly criticized and openly questioned about this and that and the other thing. If you don't have 100% confidence, and most first-time Moms don't, (what Mom does, really?), you may fall victim to a mindset wherein you feel that your way of thinking is not right or valid, and that other people, especially experienced Moms and Grandmas, know what is best for your child. And as we all know, every child and every situation is unique.

I think people should never criticize you or question your decisions in front of your child! It happens all the time, though. It wouldn't bother me so much if somebody said "I'd like to have a conversation with you about diapering, or STTN, or BF or sleep training or nap times" or whatever, and makes it clear that they are caring for you and for your child and are curious about why you choose to do things the way you do and really want to educate themselves, as well as share what they have learned. This doesn't come off as a criticism to me, but a request for an open dialogue that is respectful rather than disrespectful and belittling.