My family is in a similar boat.  My son, now 11 has been experimenting with sex with his 7 year old cousin.  We went to a psychologist (just my husband and I) to ask what to do.  He was not all that helpful.  He does not want to see either child, he wants us to get as much information as possible from our son as he claims that children don't just experiment with sex, they have to learn it somewhere.  I am afraid that if this is the case, it may have been the 7 year old that initiated things.  We have delicately tried to find some information out and he (naturally) shut down and started providing us with the information he thinks we want to hear.  My son has not even seen sex on tv, he lives a very sheltered life.  I am at wit's end.  So, if you have any advice, I would appreciate your help, and if nothing else, know you are not alone in this predicament. 

I think it depends on the situation. Up to a point it is normal for kids to be curious and wonder or even look or touch. IF it is to the point where his experiments are forced onto the others , there is a problem. If it beyond the normal curiousity he needs help. Seperate the children , find out what is going on, how it happened, this could be affecting them HUGELY and they are to ashamed or embarassed or believing its their fault and wont tell.

I will share with you my experience that no one but my family is aware of. As a child of 4 I was sexually touched and molested by an older family member, another child. I was embarassed and afraid that no one would believe me and it went on for over a year before i told my mom. This wasn't curiosity on his part, it was sneaking into my room at night and touching me when he had the chance to do so. As a family , the other child was talked to and told what they were doing was wrong, and it stopped, for a bit. Then it was back to it and continued on until I was around 10 yr old. This did effect me in my day to day life , it STILL effects me at times. Im much more careful at times TOO careful of the situations I let my child be involved in. There are no closed doors in our home when children play, there is no sharing of beds with opposite sex siblings or cousins, and HE may be missing out on those fun times with his cousins that are innocent and normal playing. In the end when I was brave enough to speak to my parents again , help was sought for the other child. This is the first time I ever saw my dad cry , and for a little girl I thought I had put those tears there and spent a long time blaming my self.

There is a small thin line between innocent curiousity and sexual abuse.

A male friend of mine once told me that as he was growing up (around the age of your son) him and his many cousins experimented with touching and looking, mastibating  He says its not talked about at all now that they are older but it was innocent and no one was forced into anything. Just letting you know this as it may be more common than many are willing to discuss.

There are two separate issues here. First, you haven't said what you mean by experimenting - if it is just looking and touching, it is fairly normal. Kids seem to go through a stage of you show me yours and I will show you mine - the next stage reverts to boy and girl germs and they wont go near each other.

If it goes beyond the simple and there are attempts at penetration etc then that could be a cause for concern. The first concern is where he has learnt that - occasionally , bu not very often, it is a natural progression. Normally it is because they have either been shown what to do or have had access to material that is inappropriate.

If they are only playing, keep an eye on them but other wise leave them alone. If it is going beyond the simple play then you need to find out more. Find out how and where he learnt that behavior. He also needs some gentle education on the facts of life and what is appropriate and what is not appropriate before he starts trying to do the same at school.

les

He could  just be curious, at this age some children do compair parts, We used to dare, then all laugh. You probley will feel better talking it over with him, just be cairefull how you approch it or he may get defensive and you'll never find out what was going on. Maybe talking to your daughter would be easer?  I hope it turns out to be mothing more than that.

Lisa

To a point it may be normal that he is just curious about girls, but it would all depend on what you actually caught him doing. I think looking and comparing is probably nothing to worry about, however if it was more than that then i would be worried.

If it was touching or kissing them, or trying (even pretending) to have sex with them then i would be concerned. I would say you need to try to talk to him. Or even get a coucellor.

Try not to push him too much thou. If he has been sexually abused, he is less likely to open up if he thinks he is going to be in trouble.

I hope that it is not the worst case senario and he has just seen sex on tv or something and is playing a game.

Cass xx

I grew up with a lot of cousins very close to my age, and at this age, none of us have experimented with sex.  

What exactly do you mean by "experimenting"? Have you tried talking to your son? You can approach in a way that is not accusatory. It's a good time to also talk about boundaries and sex.