Just a thought, our eldest went through a phase like this about six months after starting school. It turned out that she was finding it difficult to get settled as the thoughts of the day had started to run through her head. I can relate to that as I do this myself.

We realised she was growing up, but as she was unable to read to herself after story time we let her pick a tape of a quiet but interesting story. We invested in the Dick King Smith Sophies Series and Animal Ark series. This focused her mind away from the concerns of the day and she was asleep within 10-15 minutes. She got to pick the story only after she was in bed and book time was over with.

Just some thoughts. Luv,Winnie.xxxx

Can't believe I am about to offer you advice - you so often help us out!  Anyway, what we do - and R hates bedtime too - his room & the bathroom are at one end of the house, so once he has had his bath he is not allowed back into the living areas - he gets into pjs and goes to his room to pick out stories.  We then read them and do prayers etc....  if he has behaved, I then let him sit and read quietly while I put B to bed.  He switches his light out when he is ready.  I think that little bit of flexibility and freedom means he doesn't push quite so badly.  If he gets obnoxious he just goes to his room and we cut down the number of stories, or I just leave him alone (and he hates that!).  Last night he fought me and fought me, so I just told him to stay in his room, no more stories and I walked out.  He fell asleep in the doorway to his room!  Pretty sad I thought, but he is the same - he just escalates and fights sleep (and us) until someone can stop him physically- I do that by not letting him leave his room and leaving him alone.

I have to say that our girls are very good at night.  We have no dramas, but I can't even think of how we manage it.  I guess right from the start we were looking for the tired signs and adjusting bedtime as they got older.  We actually have our girls going to bed at around 8pm, so they are pretty tired and then we usually don't hear a peep out of them, maybe a bit from the younger 2.

Hey, I'm jsut thinking, if this is the same routine she's been doing for four years, maybe she's trying to tell you that she's too grown up for it.

That is, could you make up a chart with pictures of everything which needs to be done, and she knows that she has to work through the list and put  a tick beside each job as she does it.

She knows the routine, so you shouldn't have dramas with her knowing what to do, so maybe this is a way that she can take more resposnsibilty for her routine, since she knows it well.

Do you think giving her more control like this might work?

This reminds me of my son lately when he doesn't have a nap. He just absolutely goes deaf. We tell him to stop being naughty and stop whatever it is that he happens to be doing and we can see in his face that nothing is registering. He is just simply too tired to even process information and it results in a major melt down (buth him and us!).

Perhaps she's just too exhausted by this time. Maybe you could move up the bedtime by half an hour to an hour? Or start the wind down process from 1 - 2 hours before your routine, as in, only quiet activities.

So many times I suggest this to help kids with many things - a star chart. When she goes to bed without any problems, the next morning put a star on her chart. When she gets to a set number of stars (you might like to say a week's worth, or whatever) she gets a reward. Rewards can be a treat such as a chocolate, watch her favourite movie, go to the cinema, go to the park, her favourite fast food for dinner (such as MacDonalds) - whatever you think is best for her.

Remind her each night of the great reward she will get when she reaches her target. Also stick to any punishments you give her. For example, does she watch DVDs/videos? When she misbehaves at bedtime, do not allow her to watch a movie the next day. A find a lot of parents tell their kids they cannot do something if they do not do the right thing but then they go back on it - that just teaches the child that what the parent says does not matter.

When she does do the right thing give her plenty of praise. I'm sure you do do this, but I mean really praise her up on what a good girl she is. Kids thrive on praise.