My sister-in-law gave me a copy of "Babyproofing Your Marriage" (I can't remember the authors' names...); it's a good book if only for the fact that it tells you that you're not alone in all of this.  I reckon everything you have described is more or less normal.  Unfortuntate, but normal.  Whatever consolation that may be for you, I don't know, but for me, it was a welcome reassurance that neither of us was crazy or irremediably anti-social.  I might suggest getting your guy to read the book (or get it on audiobook and read it on the commute- a lot less effort)

I went threw the same thing with my hubby.  My son is now 2 years old and when he first came, we Had a great relationship. but after a little while we had a horrible relationship and I really thought about Divorce even tho we had just gotten married a little bit ago.  All I can say is to Keep trying to like him. dont worrie about loving him or aproving of everything he does... just  like him and everything will fall into place.  My hubby and I used to fight all the time about everything... we even had a fight because I didnt want to let him cut my hair for an expietment he wanted to do with peroxide adn Bleach!!!!!   Just try to camly talk to him and let him know thta things arent that great with yall and that he need to try too, It will nhever work if it is only yoiu that works on the relationship.     Also, have you thought it might be Postpartum Depression?   Derpession is hard on a relationship. and men can get the equivliant of P.D.     good luck with you and yours!

Thank you for reminding me how lucky i have been to have a wonderful man who has understood that I can't baby him as much any more.

Unfortunately, we as mums do tend to focus alot of our attentions on our children, and this means our partners often miss out.  This can lead to relationship issues and can also lead to depression on both sides.

You could try getting a spark back in your lives by showering or bathing together.  Doesn't have to be sexual, just a way of finding time to talk and have some physical contact without your baby around.  Just washing each other can be very special and who doesn't like having their back washed by someone else?

How involved is he with your baby?  Could he be feeling as though you have taken over and not let room for his input or time with your baby?  Is it possible for him to take over bath time?  If he can do some things, it will help to relieve some tension for you and give him time to bond with his child.

Have you thought about having later dinners with just the 2 of you once your baby is in bed?  Will give you time to talk.  Basically, even though you are in a relationship, you need to treat things as though you were still dating.  Sounds silly, but getting back to the basics will really help you all in the long run.

Try asking him what he thinks needs changing in the relationship, letting him finish before replying, and then work through it together making plans.

this is not uncommon, all of sudden all your attention is on the baby (and it should be) this is something men really don't understand, but because the baby is now 5 months old and if your not breast feeding, I would suggest that you try and get the baby off to a baby sitter preferably family for 1 or 2 nights. You make the plans of things you used to do, things that made you  happy as a couple and poor some attention into your man.

Our lives and men have not changed as far as feelings go even the S.N.A.G's have trouble with their feelings being left out or neglected. I think the majority of females will say what about me, being home and dealing with the baby and housework all day etc etc, but it is, give and take, and I liked the persons advise about making each other feel really good. It's a good idea to have a few plans though, just because he still may be tired.

Good luck

If he is like a lot of guys he will not want to burden you with the stress he maybe feeling.   I had a similar problem with my husband.  Ok got married last January, started finding a house to buy, bought and moved in October I was pregnant then had the baby this January.  All those things are big life decisions and all done pretty quickly.  I noticed that he didn't seem as happy as he used to and I would ask him what is on your mind, he being a typical male said Oh nothing I'm fine,  probably what your partner is doing.   So one day I thought how do I feel and I thought well there are stresses there are worries so I just had a word with him one day when he was looking down and I pretty much said  Ok we have got married, brought a house and had a child that is big, that is a lot to do in a year  and sometimes I get stressed and feel a bit down,  I'd be very suprised if you don't, in fact you would be abnormal if you don't.  It's ok to get down sometimes and it is ok to be stressed. 

Well he told me once again that everything was fine that he wasn't stressed.  About 2 days later he had a hissy fit but after that he was a lot better and know he will take himself off for a jog or just go into the back room and play with his tanks.  What I think it did was allowed him to allow himself not to hold in his stress and pretend he doesn't need his own time.   The hissy fit I believe was him letting out all the stress he had built up and needed to let out. 

you really need time together mesa thinks, just to chat and catch up on what is exciting in each others lives, kiall dribbles to me alot about his pc games and although it is not the most interesting topic to me i still make sure i listen cause it is important to him and vice versa with some of my hobbies. my parents taught me some relationship advice that i still try to live up to today, make the other person as happy as you can and they should do the same for you. be totally selfless in your actions and words and they do the same. it has worked for my parents for 30 years of happy marriage as of next month. and for us for the last 6 years. hope this helps ::)'s from becca!

you guys were together a short time before bubs was born and he had u all to him self. ( i had this prob with my hubby to start with as we were together a year and a half before A was born)

As Robert said it is more than likely a jealousy thing (i know hard to believe). just try and spend more time together and in a nice way say " hunny are u ok about the baby?" he will more than likely say yes. just try and get him to open up a bit a lessen the load on his mind. he is proberly freaking out a bit too with the added mouth to feed and feeling of i have to be strong for my son ect....... My hubby had a huge freak out when A was born cause he realised that he couldnt just sit around and do what we were doing.

if u keep being honest and true to u everything should be ok. (i only say should because things do have a way of going good to bad and bad to good. u can never tell these days)

I do wish u good luck with this.

Liz

That is so frustrating and I completely understand what you are saying.  My husband just said to me the other day, "you are being so nice to me."  EEK!!  I guess that means that I haven't been nice lately.  It's just such a hard transition from being together as a couple to having this extra person in your life that takes all of your energy from you.  It seems that by the end of the day, you can be too tired to put in the extra effort to keep the relationship with your partner going to.  Hang in there.  All I can recommend is that you work on talking to your partner.  I think that is the first thing to go when you have a baby that demands all your time and attention.

You are both coming to terms with a new member of the family (A true bundle of joy) and it is possible that your man is feeling a bit jealous.

Men are quite dumb creatures most of the time and take a fair bit of training to lose that macho image and become a S.N.A.G.

I suggest that you search Minti for things like relationships and the like as there is a heap of valuable info for couples in your situation. I would link to some if I knew how...maybe someone else can do this to help?

Otherwise make time for each other and try and rekindle your love by revisiting what first attracted you to each other.

Keep talking to him.

Best of luck.

Robert