Bellsandwhistles,You are the one who needs to grow up a bit.  She may have announced her pregnancy when your son was born but most likely because she was overjoyed with the news.  I do not believe she was trying to steal your thunder.  Let go of those jealous feelings and mature a bit your a mom and an aunt not the baby

Believe me, I don't think you are petty at all.  It's tough to have a grandstanding family member.  I think that all you can do is worry about yourself and your family because it sounds like your SIL is going to do whatever it takes to get the attention.  By you withdrawing your attention from your new niece, however, your SIL may use that to get more attention for herself.  I wouldn't worry about your son getting less attention because he probably won't notice or care.  And I wouldn't hold your SIL's actions against your new niece.  I would put on a good face and go see the baby.  Then you can come back and complain about your SIL's craziness to all your Minti friends!  LOL

I am in a similar circumstance as you, I had to understand that with my family I was thier child and would always be there with my son, but with the SIL she would always be around her mum and family with my niece, so my parents had to be especially nicer and put more attention on the grand daughter as they never saw as much as my son. I too believe the SIL got pregnant on purpose as I announced my pregnancy and then a month later they announced theirs and what makes it more worse is that I have so much anger and resentment to the SIL it is hard to form a bond with my niece who is 3 and does not know my family the way my son does. The bottom line I always look at is that as long as my son knows mummy loves him and will give him all the love he needs in this world.

If your sister in law is being childish then dont stoop to her level and play the same game.  It sounds to me that you are both wanting the attention! 

I think what you are feeling is quite normal.  You feel as though everyone is giving her all the attention and energy and that your family is missing out, even though they shouldn't be.

Family dynamics where the extended family are concerned are hard to understand, it can change so quickly.

I'm guessing the SIL is probably also flaunting all this in everyones' face too, which is unfair and quite insensitive.

I know that when my sisters start having kids, my own family will be shunted to the side, me having been adopted and all, but I also know that it is to be expected and that there isn't a lot I can do.  Good thing I can't wait to be an Aunty, though I know that I'll probably feel the same as you do.

Attention seekers like the SIL find that they very quickly fall from favour due to their obsessive looking for attention.  I had a friend way back in high school who was the same, and she ended up quite hurt by her own actions.

Hi there

First of all i just want to tell you, i can relate to how you feel. My sister inlaw had her daughter 4 months before i had my son. Her pregnancy was welcomed, mine was not. I felt as thou i was the outcast and i really thought that my baby was not as important as hers... That did change once he was born, and now both babies are treated the same. So i can understand where you are coming from.

I can see how you would feel a bit of resentment towards your SIL. After all, she really could have waited a little longer to tell everyone she was pregnant. Some people need to be the centre of attention, they need to have the spotlight on them and they will stop at nothing to get it. Saying that, i doubt that she thought that she was hurting you when she announced her pregnancy, rather than just trying to gain a little of your spotlight.

I know that i could have been in the situation your SIL is in. But we (me and SIL) both go out of our way to be supportive of each other and we always pay attention to each other's kids. My inlaws are great too, they treat both babies equally now. 

I think the best thing you can do is to be happy for her and love your neice. Try to be the bigger person. After all, your family does love your child, but sometimes it is easy to get clucky over little tiny newborn babies. I'm sure it will pass.

Cass xox

Hi,

Personally i wudnt be jelous, and i dont think she intended to make you feel like this. I told everyone iw as pregnant the dayy i found out, its exciting news and you have to share.

Wen i fell pregnant my oldest sister was so jelous and still is and i think its immature.She feels that her kids will get less attention so now she wantsto have another baby.

I dont think having kids is a competition and people should be happy with what they have got. As for the SIL getting more attention, the person with the new baby will always get a little more attention cos its a new baby but people get over it and then there just a kid and not #1..

Dont stress about it, its not worth it, like i said i dont think she would have planned for this to happen, and she cant help how ppl are reacting. Just remember you and your husband have a beautiful family and thats all that matters, if ppl want to miss out on your childrens life then thats there loss.

Be happy!!

Dannii xxo