Your cousin's 4 year old has seen this behavior and just repeating it. Since you're bringing this up, I'm guessing this is new to you and that your son didn't initiate it. So that leaves the other 4 year old. That boy has either seen his parents doing the same thing in the shower, or seen someone else.   The child could have seen his parents do this, or seen it on TV or seen someone else doing it. Either way, it's best to get to the root of it because if just to make sure there is nothing serious going on.

And it's a good time to teach about people's bodies being private and to probably show what kind of kiss is appropriate between friends (a quick peck) and what's only for mommies and daddies.

Oh what a touchy subject.

Has your cousins older children learnt about sex? I agree with the other members...it is learnt behaviour. He is acting out something he has seen or has had done to him. Usually when a child uses a teddy/doll object/ person... it can be a sign of abuse. I would ask your cousin out right. Ask her if she knows what her 4 year old is acting out. I know my friends daughter would "Home and Away" kiss everyone..given a chance! But with your cousins boy taking his clothes off....is a worry.

I think you should never make them feel bad for what they have been caught doing..never make them feel it is dirty. But to explain like you did..we only kiss mummy  etc.

Good luck...i hope you get it sorted out.

This child has had to learn this from somewhere. I knew someone once who's 5 year old son was caught trying to have sex with his sisters doll - this boys father kept porn magazines under his bed & he & his wife often watched porn. The boy obviously  looked at the mag &/or snuck up behind them while watching the movies & watched without them knowing.

There's always the possibility of this boy having these things done to him for him to have learnt. The fact that he is doing what he is doing with another boy seems to indicate this (if it was a situation like the boy I mentioned, you would expect him to act like this with a girl). This is a real worry & hard for you to know what to do.

Maybe have a talk to the boys mother. Ask her if she knows where the boy is getting this as it is not normal. A 4 year old does not normally know about sex - this boy obviously does.

Bheaviour like this is not natural, it is a learnt behaviour. You need to determine where he learnt this and, if it has been from videos or tv, encourage the parents to take steps to reverse it.

This sort of behaviour is normally associated with sexual assualt. Here in Australia, if that child exhibited that behaviour at day care or school, child welfare would be called immediately to investigate where that behaviour was learnt.

Keep your child away until the behaviour stops. Find out if possible where he has learned it. Never treat this sort of thing as a 'joke' or 'childs play' = it rarely is

I have to wonder if your cousin and her partner (if she has one0 have a healthy sex life (I almost put a sexy health life! ROFL) and are affectionate around the boys.

Kids learn by example, so it is possible.  Our girls are always kissing and cuddling each other, but I wouldn't consider it sexual at all, more like sisterly love (wish it was like that all the time!).  My partner and I are very affectionate towards each other even when our girls are around (now you can get your minds out of the gutter!).  Obviously, there is never anything seen more than a kiss or cuddle, we save the rest for when the kids are in bed, asleep (and we do check).

I'm just trying to see it from a different perspective, but if you are worried, then the other ladies have offered you some great suggestions.

i totally agree with what Mony has said.

it is a tad hard to say why he is doing this but personally i would keep my son away from it. sadly kids pick these things up so easrly from walking in on mum and dad/partner or sticking in a video or even the crap on tv (i dont let my kids watch tv anymore due to the high sex content) it also could be something bad like he is being touched and is displaying it like this.

i would have a chat to ur cousin about this and tell her that u are not comfortable with her son kissing yours specially with the no clothes on.

Hi Anon,

The first thing you need to establish, is where he learned this behaviour? It is one thing for a child to run around kissing others, as that's a normal way of showing someone that you love them, but for him to do it naked is the part that alarms me. It may be something as simple as him seeing it on tv.. (some commercials these days are so graphic they might as well be pornos) but you probably should (unobtrusively)  investigate where he learned this from. You mentioned that he displays other kinds of behaviours as well, its a bit hard to tell whether its a problem or not unless we know what other kind of behaviours he is displaying.