I used the put them back into bed technique for my 3 year old and it works great he has a set bedtime, as he attends daycare in the morning, the one thing I must say is when you have put these changes in place try to speak to hubby when he gets back so everything stays the way it is when he goes off to work again, I had a wonderful routine then nanny would come and no bed time would be set and he would run to nanny when i would tell him off, so I had to speak to mum and explain that she needed to help me implement these changes in order for him to learn, and always say I Love You back regardless, the silent treatment works wonders too sometimes LOL

That sounds like it would really hurt your feelings!  I imagine that it causes you to react every time you hear it too.  I think that may be what she is looking for from you.  Perhaps you can tell her that you love her and leave it at that.  As for the bedtime, I think the other suggestions of taking her back to bed with minimal conversation is a great idea.  Rumor has it that if you keep doing it, she'll eventually get tired of it and stay in bed.  We are still working on it over here. 

I have been through that as well and it's not fun.  I used to say to my girl that it hurts me to hear her say that and that I still love her.  She never got out of bed, she would cry and throw tantrums in her bedroom but she would stay put. 

Have you tried putting her in the naughty corner when she's done something that's naughty?  I used to do that with my girl and she soon learnt that it wasn't worth the trouble.

She is now 5 and a little well behaved child (most of the time).  I think it is a phase they go through.  Stand strong because in the long run you will have taught her well.

All the advice I have heard advices a strong stand to nip this in the bud in a short period of time.  I believe that putting her into bed, and then returning her to bed each time she comes out of her room may be worth a shot.  I think you should try to not talk to her much after doing this a couple of times as you don't want to fuel her want for attention, but the first couple of times maybe say something like "I love you and it's time to go to bed".  I am sure this will not be easy, but maybe worth a shot.  I have heard of parents having to return their child to bed up to thirty times a night, but over several nights this number decreases and eventually the behaviour stops. Goodluck,  hopefully she will learn quickly that getting up out of bed will is not on.  This will be tough I am sure, but a few tough and trying nights are better that this becoming a long term problem.  Be strong and consistent.  Remember you are the parent and you make and enforce the rules!!! All the best!

my kids do this to me. its a pain and heart wrenching but it is a fase they go through and they dont actually mean what they say.

Been through this before.  Probably will go through it again.  It is called emotional blackmail!  And kids are great at it!  Absolute masters of it.

Don't let it get to you.  Keep telling her that you love her even when she has been naughty.

You could always do what my mum did to me when I started going through this phase.  She turned around and said she would help me pack, then calmly went into my room, grabbed a bag and started packing for me!  Oh boy, did I pull that stunt again?  You bet not!  I still remember it because I then went to bed and cried for hours and then I remember my mum coming and back and us talking and reading books.  By the way, this could backfire, so not really recommending it to anyone!  just showing that all kids go through it and that some parents are prepared to bluff the bluffer!