Can you help I have just found out my girl friend has lost her baby (she was pregnant) what do I say do I ring her or go and see her Im unsure what to do in this situation...........................................................please help on what I should do I wont to be there for her.
My daughter was 20 yo when she died; nearly 10 years ago. But I can't imagine the age of the child really matters when it comes to how a Mum feels... The phrase, "be there for her" carries the clue... Just show up! There's nothing anyone can do or say to take her pain away so don't even try to find the magic words or gift that can cure her. So just be there. Its probably no use telling her to call if she needs anything; she won't call b/c she needs her baby back & she knows you can't do that. And that is probably all she can think about. Literally. So she may not be remembering to eat, drink cups of tea, wash her clothes etc. Just breathing is an effort. If she starts talking about whats happenned (feel free to encourage this); stop whatever you are doing (it really doesn't matter if the soup burns) & sit down next to her, hold her hand & listen with your heart. If she starts sobbing, hold her & don't mind if her tears soak you to the skin. If she says the same things over & over, listen as if you were hearing the first time. Just be there; don't wait to be invited!
At this point there is nothing that you could say will stop the hurt inside but you can go to see her, give her a great big hug and you will both break down and bawl together. This is a time when she would love to be on her own but that will only prolong the hurt, so go and give her all the cuddles that you can and just be there.
This is what a friend did for me a long time ago and you will never forget that loss but knowing that you have friends is worth its weight in gold
Hi there, I lost my Middle little girl and when it happend I just wanted to be alone. My best friend came round and she said she did not want to force me to talk or anything, but that she wanted to hug me, make tea, and answer the phone for us and generally just be there if I needed her. You know, for the few hours she spent with us I will be forever grateful. She gave us both breathing space from well wishers ,made tea and allowed me to talk and talk and talk, she said very little, but her pressance said everything. So go and hug your friend.
I think if it was me i would call, if she has just lost a baby she is going to be feeling terrible and may want to be left alone for a few days . Yet on the other hand she may want you to be there with her . Everyone deals with grief in differant ways just go gentle she will be very fragile .
It's a tough one, but you know your friend better than anyone. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, personally I would want to be left alone for a few days! If you are unsure, I would have thought an initial telephone call would be better rather than turning up unannounced just in case she is swamped by well-wishers.
I'm facing bad news with my pregnancy (if they ever give me my referral!) and I know that I would want as many of my friends around me as possible. My mum is a bit of funny woman, and when bad things have happened in the past, made me feel as though I caused them (someone else caused them long story) and I don't really want to be turning to her.
You go and see her. Allow her to grieve and let her know that she is never alone. Give her as much support as you can because she does need you.
I think if possible you should go and see her. A hug can honestly do wonders. I was in this situation recently and I went armed with a big block of chocolate and a movie, so that we didnt have to actually talk if she didnt want to.
I said I was sorry and that I didnt know what else to say, and she said she didnt either. We cried, we hugged, and we chilled out for the night.
Every situation is going to be different, just do as the others have suggested and go with the flow .
Good luck and my heart goes out to your friend.
i am so sorry your friend lost her baby i think the best advice that i can give is dont stay away do go and see her you dont have to say anything just being there will mean more than you know this is something that will take her a while to get past but your friendship and support will help her over her grief cheers
I'm sorry to hear that news. Maybe try and give the husband a call first and see if she is up to having visitors. Don't go there with any expectations just go with the flow. If she doesn't want any visitors maybe a bunch of flowers or something just to let her know that you are thinking of her.
I am sorry to hear that!!!!!i reckon a visit is better than a phone call,when you visit someone that is in grief you go with the flow,you no what to say when and how........but a phone call is hard you go silent you get really stuck on what to say.
Either way your friend will be happy with a call or a visit.........
Good luck on which ever decision you decide to go with
There isn't alot you can do while a person is grieving. Only try to be supportive of them as much as you can. Be there as much as you can to help her threw. Offering as much advice as you can.
You cant help here deal with the pain, only she can do that she needs to get her head around it as much as she can. Which she can only do on here own.
Also try to reasure her that there is support out there for loss and grief councelling.
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(she was pregnant) what do I say do I ring her or go and see her Im unsure what to do in this situation...........................................................please help on what I should do I wont to be there for her.
