Hi,

When she says to you that "you hate me mummy" is she just trying to get your attention or a way of getting out of cleaning her room? Just reassure her that you love her very much but it would make you very happy if she helped her sister clean their room.

Is she they youngest? Maybe she needs to be reassured that you are still going to love her even when she is a big girl.

Hope this helps.

I managed this by making a chart and setting up little jobs for my son to complete each day. I have written a little adivece and it helped him a lot. He now gets himself dressed for school. He also does his hair and was his face and packs his lunch after i make it and his breakfast into his bag. Most schools nower days encourage independance and this is the best way i have found to combate it. Hope it helps your child.

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/8680/Setting-An-agenda-For-Your-Children-Time-Managment-and-Routines/

Maybe you could try a rewards chart.  That way, all the children are involved and might make her feel more grown up.  When she is good and does as she asks, then she gets stars or whatever you want to use.  Find little toys etc she wants, and make her work for them.  We are going to trial this with our girls just as soon as I find the perfect white board for it! lol.

Kids are great at using emotional blackmail on us, so when she makes those comments, ignore the comment and tell her you love her. 

I was talking about this same subject last night with my SIL and we came to this conclusion.  If you clean with her, having her help you and make into a fum activity and a game she will then want to do it.  My SIL was telling me that for the longest time her mom would clean up after them and do all that stuff and then when they got older she made them do it.  But she would never let them help when they were little, so they began to resent it.  Now with my girl and neice my SIL and I let our girls help us clean and they are wanting to do more on their own.  Something to think about, try making it a game for her for now so she can see those things in a new light.  Like race to see how can get dressed the fastest, etc.  Good Luck!

Will be watching answers carefully in case someone has the magic answer but all you can do is perservere I feel. Some kids will try any tactic to get out of something that they don't particully like. I don't really blame them as if I had a magic cleaning fairy then I would love it. If the question is what to do about the you hate me mummy then all you have to say is no I love you. Doesn't get them out of chores though. I did know a little girl that said that to her mum when she got in trouble. She would just say no I love you, I just don't like your behaviour at the moment. Try not to let the other sister do too much of your other daughters work though as she will do it again. When they have older siblings it can be hard. Hope this helps a bit. I agree with taking things off them too. Or no T.V playing etc until the room is clean works for me especially if using the x-box or computer as an incentive!

take away her things and tell her untill she can be responsible for her toys she cant have them. i did this with my kids all their toys are in a room and they get a few weeks of being good they clean it up and all that then get lazy and it goes away the door get locks