I think you can give too much praise which reduces it's meaning. In addition, you mention he has to work really hard at the sports, maybe it is just not his bag?!? If he puts in all his effort and still feels like he is not good at it it becomes counter-productive in building esteem. Perhaps there is something else out there for him which he could excel which in itself will build confidence.

Don't overdo the praise, as he is your son he expects it and if it is overdone it can start to sound insincere and kids can pick up on this pretty quickly.

He needs a challenge. Something that is difficult to do, then he will to start to have some self belief. Don.t make the challenge to difficult or will make the matter worse.

It is a fine balance but as parents we need to assess their abilities and constantly place the next level in front of them. We start with sitting - then crawling - walking and on it goes through life.

There are many organisations like scouts, rotary, apex and toastmasters that often have a junior section (scouts are junior of course) - these are all confidence building organisations.

cheers les

I've just added links to building self-esteem and confidence from the Minti archive.... well some of them anyway. I didn't realise I had pressed add lots of times! :S Well it's always good to know there's lots of information already existing on Minti on how to build self esteem and self confidence!

A person who I would recommend talking to is JeanTracy, she writes a lot of advice about building confidence and self esteem both in the advice section and on her blog.

Keep doing what you are doing, praising him for what he can do. Remind him that everyone is different, so while one person is good at one thing, they will be not so good at something else. Also that he is only 11 so he's not meant to be great at everything & that the important thing is just to try & to have fun.

Maybe you could talk to his teacher (without him knowing), explain the situation, so that she could give him a bit extra praise in class to boost his confidence.

Its easier to believe the bad stuff than the good things about yourself.  Just make sure you tell him Specific things all the time even when he is not 'fishing' for compliments.  just tell him enough and he will eventually start to believe it.

Hope it all works out

My son is now 14 and still is  a little insecure but give  him time he will find something he's good at. My son was the same way not the best at  football nor basketball. But now he's found him self  in skatebroading and the girls love him. he'll grow into him self very soon as I can remember it was around 11-12 where I saw it the most. Just keep encouraging him to try new things and let him know to just have fun. Don't overdo the complements cause children know that  there parents are suppose to do it.  I always use to say to my son when  he wanted to quit "how can you quit the race before you start"  at your son's age he has alot going on physical and mental, he's changing, children get more mean, etc.  Keep this in mind when your ready ,go to the libary and get books on how he's changing it will really help him and it's not coming from you because as you know moms know nothing. he'll be fine, relax.

He's not going to listen to you. You're mum. You're biased. Of course you're going to think the world of every little thing he does. What he needs is to find something that he can achieve that HE can be proud of within HIMSELF, regardless of what anyone else thinks. THAT is the hardest part. It has to be something HE wants to do, even if you think its a really bad idea. And it could take some time for him to find that thing.

When you compliment every little achievement, the compliments can wear thin. My mum used to praise everything I did as a young child, but Dad would just give a vague grunt of acknowledgement. Imagine my surprise and pride when finally my dad said he was really proud of me for something. Maybe it would be better to lay off the compliments a little bit and save them for the moments that are really worth complimenting?