Many thanks to all for the fab advice.  We will definitely continue to talk about the new bub and get Joel involved in all the preparation for the new baby... not to mention making him our special helper once the bub does arrive.

I really appreciate all the info.  Thank you!

There is some great advice here.  The only thing I would add is this:  When your son comes to see you in the hospital (or wherever you're having the baby) after your baby is born, make sure you have your arms free and are able to give him big hugs and kisses before introducing him to his new sibling.  He's there to see you first.  We also made sure there was a special bag of activities for our daughter to do while she was visiting.  He won't gush over the baby like other visitors, which I'm sure you know.

Congrats and I hope all goes well!

My oldest was 13 months when the 2nd came along. A couple of months beforehand, I was getting things organised for bub #2. I made sure that Dave had things to do as well, like helping me get the baby stuff ready in a separate basket, lotions, baby bath, babay oil etc. I played games with him, like putting a stack of his clothes and baby clothes in a pile and we had to sort them. He helped me to get all the old baby gear out. Then when Alex was born, it was Dave's responsibility to get the nappy and powder etc for nappy changes, and little things like that. This way he could take part in the baby things, and have some responsibility and ownership of jobs to do and didn't feel left out.

maybe buy him a gift for the special day as the baby will get lots from friends and family and i agree with the others allow him to take part in some of the things for the baby maybe even sharing a bath with the newborn so that he can wash bubbas hair or something???

This might sound completely strange, but  I wonder if role play might be helpful.  Ever thought of using a doll / teddy to represent baby and getting your toddler to do things like hold it gently, stroke gently, learn about how to touch a baby's head etc.  I suppose you could also play feeding time, nappy time - things like that.

Might help your toddler gain some perspective on what it will be like with another little one.

Good luck xx

let your son help with everything he possibly can when baby comes along, passing you a nappy or getting the towel for the baby when it is bath time. whatever!... he will think he is so unbelievably important, it is a real boost to their self esteem (as long as you thank him for everything) halts jealousy in it's tracks (which is the major source of the little sibling related tantrums) and you have a little helper at the same time. as long as he doesn't feel left out it should be fine. it may sound a little odd but make sure he still gets time with you alone. (this is more important when there is a larger gap) but it is a remnant of his old routine that will give him comfort. a couple of hours or so while bub is sleeping should do the trick. ::)'s hope this helps from becca!

Have you thought about getting him his own baby doll?  Then you could show him how to look after it etc

My oldest was 1 when her younger sister was born, and while wary of the newborn, was also highly fascinated and soon bonded with her sister.  It all depends on how you react to having the older child around the baby.  If you make the baby a no touch baby, then the older child is going to be jealous and resent the new addition to your family.  Keep him involved as much as you can.

My oldest was just under 18 months when our youngest was born. I made sure I told him about the baby in my tummy all the time & when it kicked I would put his hand there. We let him help us set up for the new baby & showed him the babies nappies & clothes etc. I wrote a few articles on subject - here are the links 1 & 2 - if you have any questions feel free to ask via minti mail.

Teshia

He probably won't fully comprehend what it all means until the baby arrives. Get him involved in preparing the baby's room, show him where the baby will sleep. Ask him what he thinks of names you've chosen. Let him feel your tummy when the baby kicks. When baby arrives, buy him a gift with a card congratulating him on becoming a big brother - I did this for my niece (congrats to her for becoming a big sister) & her parents where very appreciative, hadn't thought of it themselves, & said it made my niece feel very special. Let him help as much as he can with the baby, getting nappies, passing wipes, helping wash bub in the bath, etc. When doing these things give him plenty of praise for being such a good big brother.

When my first son was born, my daughter was only a year old and my wife just gave birth to our third child just two weeks ago.  The best advice I can give you is to make sure you have them involved in most aspects involving the baby.  Whether it's getting diapers, blankets, the car seat, or just watching them lay on the floor while you use the bathroom.  Any and all involvement they get to have is positive reinforcement that they're still loved and needed.  It's worked for us great.

I worte an article about ways to introduce a sibling....

Here's the Link.  Hope this helps.  My biggest advice is to involve as much as possible.  Have them help pick out clothing, toys and bedding as well as when the baby comes to help get the easy stuff, like diapers and such.  Even this young, they really do understand alot!  Good luck!