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Bex17
Bex17 | May 2008

Silly old mum!

I'm really not sure but am thinking I am asking a silly question! They say you cant love one child more than the other but can a child love one parent more than the other?? I have a 14 month old son and it just feels like I am the big bad mum, trying to teach him to be a good kid and when daddy is home, Jordan is an angel and follows dad around like they are joined at the hip. I know Jordan gets to spend all day with me and I know I am being selfish but I am the one who gets up in the night.  I am the one cleaning his pooey nappies and I am the one who gets to spend hours trying to get him to eat the right foods.  Why is daddy the favourite?

Also, how affectionate are the other 14 month olds out there. I know his only young but Jordan would rather be off playing or following daddy then have a cuddle with mum! Even though as I write this I know the answers to my questions but please, just in case -  tell me again why I am being silly.



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Arna
May 2008 | Arna
Re: Silly old mum!

ROFL.  Sorry, but this sounds like mine when my partner was working.  It happens because suddenly, there is a new familiar face there and that means someone else to get all the attention from.

Ah yes, sad to say, by the end of the day, not are you looking forward to hubby coming home, but so is your darling.  It is very common and while it makes us mums feel less loved, really think about who she wants when she is sick or gets hurt.  I bet it is mummy!

Enjoy handing him over to hubby so you can go to the toilet in peace!  What a novelty that is with young children! lol



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lillkatheryn
May 2008 | lillkatheryn
Re: Silly old mum!

Oh that is not silly at all.  And it's so like my girl.  The reason I believe is because as said below, since he is with you all day your words have little or no effect on him, where as daddy is gone and when he comes home, he misses him.  My girl is just like this, she is almost 3 now.  It's not that your little one loves daddy more then you, it's that he is just trying to make up for all that time he is not with daddy.  He is getting to that age very shortly where he will be hugging and kissing you all the time.  And get this, my girl was like that as that age, but now she is all mommy!  So it will bounce back and forth for the many years to come.  When he feels he has the attention from daddy, then he will seek it from you, espcially if have another baby, then he really won't leave you alone, lol! Good luck!



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Practical-Princess
May 2008 | Practical-Princess
Re: Silly old mum!

It's most likely just a case of  him being with you all day & then when daddy comes home he wants to be with him. It doesn't mean he loves one of you more than the other, he just wants some daddy time.

Often bubs do want one parent more than the other - boys usually want their dads & girls the mums (though it can be the other way around). I have a 7 week old niece who is often crying when her father (my brother) comes home from work. Bubs mum can't get her to settle but my brother walks in, takes bub, gets her to settle, & puts her to sleep! He's like magic with her!

My first born would not have a thing to do with her father, while my son wanted nothing but daddy. All bubs are different this way. Be assured that your son loves you both equally.

As for the affection thing, again, everyone is different, including children & babies. Yes, you are being silly, there you go, I told you, lol. Enjoy the fact that he's happy to amuse himself while it lasts!



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2BeautifulGirls
May 2008 | 2BeautifulGirls
Re: Silly old mum!

I went through that with my oldest daughter, she wanted Dad because he could do no wrong...she was probably about that age when it started and it only finished when she was 4 1/2.  She is now a mummy's girl and much rathers spending time with me. 

Your son doesn't love his daddy anymore than he loves you, I think its a phase they go through.



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mumof2b
May 2008 | mumof2b
Re: Silly old mum!

I went through the same things also, I have 2 boys and I'm a stay at home mum. I would have the worst day possible with my boys but the moment daddy walked in the door they were angels and would be laughing and playing and there I would be pulling my hair out!!!!

Once Jordan is a bit older things will even out.........plus boys do tend to want to be around daddy and play rough, that's just a same sex thing. Even now with my boys who are 7 and 3 1/2 they are all over daddy when he walks in the door.......And I have to say, I welcome the break.

Amanda xxx



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AZMom
May 2008 | AZMom
Re: Silly old mum!

Our son (22mths) has gone through lots of phases where he appears to prefer one of us over the other. I am a stay at home Mom and very much the disciplinarian! At the moment our son is all about Daddy.

Don't dwell on it or take it personal, just let him know that you love him and try to set time aside where you are able to just have fun with him and enjoy it!

Although one thing I have had to nag hubby about is making sure he doesn't give in our son as he does have a tendancy to undermine things I do or say with our son by giving him everything he wants. I think once they know you are on the 'same page' the playing you off against one another doesn't work anymore.. and I know our son did that at this age  They are smart!



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Ngairi
May 2008 | Ngairi
Re: Silly old mum!

At this age, Mum is just a boring part of the day. however, daddy is a sometimes character. Also, as you would handle most of the discipline etc, dad is the good guy. This is all perfectly normal.

Wait a few years, dad won't get the time of day.

Just think about this: when he is hungry, who does he want?
When he is thirsty, who does he ask?
When he is hurt, who can't fix it?

Usually the answer for all of these is MUM.

Let dad have the spotlight while it lasts. Cause it generally won't last forever.



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      Bex17
May 2008 | Bex17
Re: Silly old mum!

You are so right. Thank-you I feel better already.



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