He has a little boy with a girl that he was engaged to. They have split up. He is buying everything my grandchild needs. He is 4 months old. She has moved back to her parents. He want his son every second weekend, from the Friday until the Sunday. She says that he can not have him for sleep overs because she heard that a baby needs the same environment for sleeping at night.
He is very good with him. They lived with us the first 3 months after he was born. I have kept an eye on him with the baby and he changes nappies, baths him, giving his bottel and all the things a mother can do, he can do by himself. It is breaking his heart not being able to have his baby with him.
I don't know if she is just being stubborn or what.
So my question is... Will it be ok for the little one to sleep over at his dad, being only 4 months. ?
My husband had the same issues with his daughter... He did not get her for sleep overs until much later.
But I would think that if your son keeps to the routine the mother has for the baby with sleeping and such (as I know when my son was a baby, he'd sleep anywhere.) It should be fine.
The mother may be having a hard time thinking about being away from the baby over night. I can understand both of them.
But I believe the mother should at least be willing to give it a try.
And as hotmama says, don't give up, take as much time as the mother is willing to give at first, she may just be having a hard time dealing with the fact that baby will have to stay away for a few nights eventually.
Well if she is going to be that stuborn your son should ask if he can stay the night there at her house, so he can spend time with his son. Maybe then she will let him have their son on the weekends, also your son should try getting a few hours a day at least, tell him not to give up, and depending on where you are you as the grandparent can also petition the courts for grandparents rights. Hope this works out for you and your son, and your grandchild.
I think he should have him. No problems with routines, really. So long as he keeps to a general pattern of what she does like, bath at 3, sleep times around this time, etc. He sounds like he will be a great dad.
The only problem I could see would be if she were breastfeeding him. If she is being a real pain in the butt about it, start for 1 night then after a few weekends make it the whole weekend.
this is a very sad situation for you and your family. I realise that its not only your son that suffers but it is also you and your family. If i was in this situation i couldnt and wouldnt let my child go over to sleep from friday to sunday.... This is just my opinion and mine alone.
I would allow one night stay over example pick up sat morning sleep the night and pick up about midday sunday. If all went well and i ajusted to it all then i would extend about 6-8month depending on how well child was ajusting as well as myself.
I would see if they could make some kind of comprimise and if there isnt any give, then i would seek some professional advise. Its really hard for me as i do have a partner and we have always discussed what if lol...... I would never keep our kids from him even if i hated him... but it would be alot harder if its your first child. Good luck and hope all turns out ok for your son..
Hey this sounds like a sad situation i think for your son to stay over every second weekend sounds very fair i would be trying to resolve this situation with her without any of this getting into any sort of legal requirements ie: a very messy custody battle .
It wont matter where the bubba sleeps if the bub's is comfortable with dad there is no reason or cause to her reason why.
i think she may be trying to play games on this one as sad as that is .
all babies need routine, but she's going over the top. my baby gets babysat about once every week at his nana's house and he's perfectly adjusted, and he's been sleeping over since before 4 months. as long as both aprents tend to the same routine then it's perfectly fine. and might i say it's better for the bub get used to both places now and get that into place then later on. i think she's just using it as an excuse to be difficult and not let him have quality dad time with the bub. that's very sad :(
What a sad situation. I think that if your son is confident enough to have the baby stay for the weekend there is no reason why he shouldn't have him..It sounds like his ex girlfriend is trying to find any excuse not to let him have his son..Has he been to see a lawyer or someone who can advise him of what steps to take if he has to go through the courts for access?
I am answering this question from my point of view. My baby is 9 months old and when he was 4 months old i wouldnt even leave him with his grandparents for a few hours at night. However, i live with my partner and my baby was breastfed. So that was a major reason why.
When my son was 4 months old we were having major problems with his sleeping but it had nothing to do with location. I think if the baby is easy to settle and your son looks after him properly (and it sounds like he is a wonderful daddy) then i dont see the problem.
She may be nervous about being away from him for that long. Especially if she is a first time mum. It is a long time to be away from your child when they are that long. God knows i couldnt do it. I still cant.
I dont really know what else to say, as i have never been in this position. But i do know that she cant keep his child from him. He is entitled to access to see him. Maybe if she doesnt want to agree to him having him for weekends, your son should go to child support and see where he stands.
What a load of bollocks! Sure, babies even that young need routine, but they will set it whether mummy and daddy like it or not! If he lets the child go to sleep and wake up at his normal times it'll be all fine for everyone.
In fact, better to establish a familiarity with spending such time with Daddy now, before seperation anxiety sets in and the child doesn't want to leave Mummy! Far too many women do all they can to estrange the fathers of their children, not because its best for the kids but because its best for mummy. It is always best for the kids to be able to spend fair time with both parents (abuse excepted) regardless of how well the adults do or don't get along.
I'd recommend he seek legal advice and apply for shared custody.
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