Hmm I would seriously be looking to have your daughter refered for Pshycological Evaluation. How does your daughter cope with school is her work good, excellent or poor. How does she cope with her friends and other life situations? Seems she found camp difficult to handle? The history you give us points to an inner frustration that she does not understand. This could be physical, emotional or developmental. Please dont let the doc phob you off with, normal teen angst, you know in your heart this is not so. Councelling is all very well if one knows what is causing the behaviour, but if there is an underlying and undiscovered issue, then counceling will not help in the long run. Have you ever considered an Autistic Spectrum Disorded? That can range from Dyslexia, ADD/ADHD, Aspergers, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia, and so on and so forth. Many of these issues can cause severe frustration if undetected, as the child views the world in a very,very diffirent way to the "Norm". In a teen who has issues that are undetected and unadressed these frustrations can and do erupt into violence. Really dont know if this will help, but it may be worth considering.

Best Wishes, Winnie.xx

My daughter was just like this. She does not hate you or her brother but  is crying out for help the only way she knows how.

Do you have a family/ community centre near you? They can help arrange family counselling. I would see the school counselor as well. You can can also talk to the youth liason officer at your local police station. They can arrange to speak to her about the consequences of her behavior.

If your daughter goes missing for 24 hours, you are required by law to report it to police. They will make enquires as to her whereabouts. I found this helped, as her friends got annoyed with the police always ringing them. They would then not let her stay with them and tell her to go home.

It will take time and patience to see any change. Change will most likely be gradual anyway. Tell her every day that you love her, even if she doesn't respond.

Good luck and feel free to minti mail me anytime.

I know a woman who's daughter used to be just like this. She arranged counselling & would have a case worker come to her house & pick her daughter up to take her out for the day. I don't know exactly who she went to for help, but you could ask a doctor, DOCS, or your local community centre. Just explain what is going on & they can arrange help for you.

Has she ever been assessed by a doctor? Teens do have problems, but this is quite severe. I'd be taking her to a paediatrician with all this. There may be a medical reason for all this.

There is a very good pyschologist who specialises in teen problems - his website is www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au He has books to help deal with teens. But, really, go to someone for help, & have her assessed by a paediatrician. All the best hun.

And my parents thought I was terrible!  Teens are unpredictable creatures at best, and down right selfish demons at worst.

I'm not sure how to help you with this one.  Next time she does lash out and hit and kick you like that, call the police.  Going through all the hoops they will put her through might make her see that she can't treat you this way.

As for child abuse, she has to prove it, not you having to disprove it.  Emotional blackmail is one of the most powerful tools that our kids can use against us, we just have to remember that they don't really mean it.

Oh, and next time she pulls that child abuse one, tell her that what she is doing to you is abuse too.  Even through a tantrum at her when she doesn't do what you want.  Not like hers, but roll on the floor toddler style and see how she reacts.  Oh make it as public as possible, teens don't like being embarrassed by their parents, and if  you did this out the front of the house, I'm sure she'd stop her behaviour pretty quickly out of self preservation!

i feel so sorry for you hope your stomach is ok . can i ask has her father recently left or something or has she been picked on at school and for somereason she is taking it out on  you . ill be honest i was a compelete bitch to my mum but i never hit her but now we are close as can be we still have our fights . with the runnning away i would say something is bothering her . can ii ask do you get one on one time with her maybe she wants some  mum time alone and you maybe busy with the 4 yr old .

i would sit her down maybe when she is in a good mood and ask her is there anything bothering her or upsetting her

belxxx

hi, wow this seems like a great deal to handle.  I honestly believe that there is some underlying issue to all this rage and anger and that you need some outside help ie counsellor, phsy or even talk to your health care nurse. 

I don't mean to snoop but is her dad around?  If not then this could be the cause of some of her anger. Was she abused by someone?  What is she like at school?

When you and your daughter do have a fight, I would suggest that is not the time to try and talk to her.  I would let her calm down and then approach the issue when she is in a much calmer state.  By doing this you  allow her to have some debrief time to cool off as well as maybe reflect on her actions.  Trying to talk to her while she is angry is going talking to a ticking bomb. 

If i was in your situation, i would def be getting outside help. 

I wish you the best of luck!