I don't know what the full story is, so it is hard to know what to say.  You don't say how old your sister is or what her situation is.

I have to say that while we do smack our children, it is a LAST resort or in the case of our babies, to get them to stop grabbing at things when out shopping.

What your sister is doing is going to confuse her daughter.  Smacking for not eating and then smacking for eating are giving this little girl mixed messages and there could be more food dramas on the way because of it.

I know how frustrating parenting is and have lost it with my kids more than once,  but I use language that is respectful, take the time to explain, even to my 1 year old, what they are doing is wrong and even enforcing the sitting on their special seats until I think they are behaved enough to move off again.

You can make an anonymous report to your local children services, even just ask them for advice.  Most of the time, they do assessments that can take months, might get her to do a practical parenting course and offer a whole lot of support.

These days, they don't like removing children from their family homes, no matter how bad things are except where physical abuse is obvious, and I can't say it is in this case.  About 18 months ago, I was in a situation I couldn't cope with, couldn't provide my kids with a stable homelife (lived in a caravan in the middle of nowhere!) and was dealing with an absent husband.  I contacted a group of people who I thought would put my girls into temporary foster care so I could sort the situation out, but they wanted to keep us together and instead of saying that I was handling things wrong ( I was frequently losing it), they told me how strong I was and that even though times were tough, my children were thriving.  Any way, long story short, working with parents to find the solutions and keeping the kids in the home is the ultimate goal, so don't feel as though she is going to lose her daughter over it.  Sometimes a shock like this might be what your sister needs to get the help she needs and accept the help.

Firstly I agree with everyone else this has to be reported.

But your sister needs help immediately.

I feel that she has anger managment problems too. The thing is, is she happy? is she feeling fustrated? Is she coping? Has she got anyone to talk to?

Does she have a break from her baby? Does she get a moment to herself? So she can calm down and pull herself together so to speak?

Is she under other pressures that maybe you dont know about?

Lastly is she suffering post natal depression?

I know your niece is the main concern here but I feel that your sister needs help too.

Get as much information as you can, to help her and your niece.

Like everyone else I agree that this needs to be reported. These people will help her and the whole family. She needs to get help to learn new ways to discipline her child. Focus on the best interests of the child.

Report her. Simple as that. There's no excuse for treating a child that way.

hey,im so sorry to hear this is going on.My daughter is one and i could never smack her at this age,she wouldnt know what she has done! They need guidence,this child is not getting that at all.I worked in daycare for 9 yrs and saw alot of this when children were getting picked up and acting out on their parents.Would break my heart as it was them trying to let their parents know they didnt like them being left without them.The best advice i could give to you would be do some research on child smacking and print it out for her to read so she can read from profesionals why you should not be smacking your child at that age,or at any age really.She might not listen to you or any other member of your family but maybe profesionals??? Another step would be going to DOCS or Family and Community services and seeing if they have any information for you......offer to look after the little one as much as you can to protect her and to give your sister some time out?? Hope this works for you and all the best,let me know how you go ok....my thoughts are with you and this little girl......naomi

Oh Dear, Oh My, sounds like your Sister has serious anger management issues if she does not understand that she is abusing her Daughter. How does the rest of the family view this situation? Is there an issue there with smacking you as very young children or is this just your Sister?  I would be inclind to point out to her that her behaviour as an adult is unacceptable and a crime, give her two choices, she goes with your knowlege to seek help from the Doctor or child services or you report her. Of course she will blame you for interfering as she is not willing to face her own problems, which are now so bad they are begining to affect your child too. However sometimes it is hard to be the one who says No, No more. I think you have to be very strong and think soley of the children here before further damage is done. Love is at times having to do the hard deeds to get the care across. Your niece and your son need your protection and help as does your Sister.

Best Wishes. Luv Winnie.xxxx

Ok as a mum of 3 and a carer for many children i would be inclined to be calling a family meeting and see if you can reach out to your sister and see if there is something the family can do to help her in ways around the discipline area.. Also have you got a community centre near by or clinic as they often run classes in parenting..

There is a difference between a smack and a belting, and docs wont step in over a smack, unless there is marks on the child.. If it comes to that, 9 times out of 10 they will work out where your sister needs assistance in the areas she may struggle with, and will most likely suggest she has respite, so either her little one goes into care, or stays with a another family member.. These days docs would rather see families united then separate them,, but in extreme cases they will  work hard at times we recitfy the situation..

As for her feeling she needs to discapline your son, you need to tell her how uncomfortable that makes you feel, and would appreciate it if she leaves the discapline up to you unless you ask her for assistance..

Hope this is resolved for you all soon..

xx cazza

in my opinion u should never hit a child under 2 cause they do not under stand.

i would check for brusing and call the child wellfair place to see where u stand. i was told by a close friend that if u say look i am the aunty they know there is someone who can care for the child and is more likely to got o u if taken away. i have been thinking about this with my sister, but i have decided against it for personal reasons.

good luck and do what u feel is right.

This is a very difficult situation to be in. If it were me, I think I would report her. Her little girl is only one year old, she could end up with major injuries that could be life threatening. She smacks her that much with others around, imagine what she might do when on her own. If you report her, DOCS will not give your information to her, she will not know it was you. You can deny reporting, say maybe it was a neighbour or someone. The most important person here is the child - whether you get blamed or not, the child needs help.