My partner left me and the country prior to the birth of our child. Now he has recently returned and I'm informed is entitled to equal access and rights to her- including shared custudy, shared residential ( new CSA laws mean he no longer needs to pay CS) and can take her out of the state for extended periods so that as he puts it according to the new Grand Parent laws he is introducing her to her family. Can any one experienced in difficult custodial issue s make some suggestions to argue this situation as it breaks my heart that a person who she is not bonded to can due to the law drag her away from the only security she knows ( incidently she is 21 months ).
Re: Visitation with an infant with an absent Father
Take this to the courts. You have been the primary care giver since birth so full custody should be yours any ways. He has to argue for custody and show he can provide the right environment for your daughter. More than likely, you will be put into mediation to sort it out, and your daughter will be observed with her father by the workers to see how well the interact. Oh, you won't be allowed in the room though, they need to see the interaction between them only.
I have to say, it is rather strange that he is wanting to be a part of her life now when he left the country knowing that you were pregnant. I do have to wonder what has motivated him and whether there are more people pushing him to do this to gain control over you. Not knowing more about the circumstances, it is very hard to know what other advice to give you. I can only hope that some of the other members with more experience in this area can help you out more.
Re: Visitation with an infant with an absent Father
Hi Arna. Currently in Australia they are undergoing changes in child support. If you have them over night for 53 days they dramatically reduce child support. No consideration is placed in the fact that I have lost my income to raise our child. His Mother is also a major driving force and it appears he is extremely unhappy with having to pay Child support or as he puts it " He gives me his money". He likes control but does not like responsibility and this makes it all the more difficult for me. Any advice would be great fully appreciated. We are undergoing mediation but there appears to be a current thought that Men are victimized, I just want Emily to be comfortable and get to know him. He just wants what he wants and yes this is a good way to hurt me. He does appear to care for her but I think it's more about how she makes him feel than a need to be her Father. Emily is delightful and happy child. I feel like I am fighting to protect her rights, emotional state and prevent future repercussions from being drag away by a stranger who she only has learnt to call "Dad".
Re: Visitation with an infant with an absent Father
I would go and see a lawyer, if you can't afford one contact legal aid asap and they'll let you know your rights and responsibilities. The fact that he had no contact may work against him and also if he hasn't been supporting your child finacially. Don't give him any access until you have this all sorted out. I know that may sound mean but until you have visitation orders in place he has no right to the child. I hope everything gets sorted soon, who knows, if it seems like too much hard work he may not even bother. I've been down a simmilar road so if you ever need someone to chat to minti-mail me.
Re: Visitation with an infant with an absent Father
Hi,
Custody issues are very complicated. However, you need a lawyer immediately as with no court order in place he could come and take your child and until you get an order through the court there will be nothing you can do! Do not allow him to have any contact unsupervised.
In the family court the focus is on what is in the best needs of the child. The shared responsibilty focus is in name only, ie that both parent are responsible for the long term care, development and welfare of the child. This does not mean equal custody. The court will consider factors such as the childs routine, parenting abilities, support networks etc. Grandparents are considered if the grandparents have played a substantial role is the childs care but usually time with grandparents is up to the parent who is responsible for the day-to-day care at the time.
You have to get a lawyer, and if funds are an issue then apply to legal aid and they will assess your income and arrange a lawyer for you.
Re: Visitation with an infant with an absent Father
As far as i have ever been aware one parent is not aloud to take your child out of the state without you signing a piece of paper stating it is ok. I would get some legal help if you are worried for any reason, get a custody order in place also.
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