I look at it this way....They are in the bridal party they should be invited to the reception.  What is the bride going to do?  Throw them out?  NO!  I find it ridiculous that someone would have children in their wedding and then not allow them to come to the reception!  Makes no sense.  What does she expect the parents of these children to do?  Bring a nanny?  Outrageous!  I'd take them if it were me.  Why stress yourself out more than necessary.  I'm sure your children are behaved well enough to act appropriately at the reception.
 

Kerri

When i got married we had my little sister as our flower girl and she was with us all day.. When it came to the reception she stayed for the meal and the bridal dance .. My Aunt then took her home to Nan as nan doesnt like crowds, and only came to the church..

I think your sil needs for you to tell her that after the meal that you and hubby will be taken the kids home.. and there is no reason why they cant be there...

xx cazza

I would not be going to the reception myself if that was the case...I would explain that you don't have anyone to look after your children & that you won't be able to attend if they can't come. I think it's really unfair that they expect your kids to be in the wedding party & then to go away. I would personally consider taking my children out of the wedding all together if it were me.

hear hear to everyone else's comments, I think it's pretty lousy to have them in the wedding and then not invite them to the reception. Not sure where you are from, but here generally the people in the wedding are expected to pay for their dress/tux rental etc, the least they can do is shell out a few more bucks to allow the kids in the wedding party to be at the reception.

I have been to weddings where they didn't want kids at the reception but that didn't usually include the wedding party kids.

Shame on them for putting you in this predicament in the first place!

We semi had this situation last year, with DH doing the photos and then he & I having a Reception invite but not the kids (and all our regular sitters being at the Reception), so DH replied that he would go but I would be staying at home with the kids as we couldnt get a babysitter. Surprisingly they relented and we all got an invite. It may not happen for you, but someone has to miss out - either the kids freak out coz of an unfamiliar babysitter or 1/both of you miss the Reception - no contest really IMO .

I would not go to the reception.  What slays me is that she wants them to be in the wedding but they can't go to the reception.  From my wedding experience she is going to miss out cause I know they do take alot of pics of the bridal party there.  And if she is not reasonable in listening from the stand point of they are in the wedding party, why cant they go to the reception, then to bad for her.  Sorry to sound mean, but it's not fair on your part, espcially since you are going out of your way to make sure your babies have what they need to be in the wedding.  And when all is said and done, you have to do whats best for your babies.  After it all you can tell her your reasons for not going, if you don't go, and by then hopefully she will see how unfair it was to not invite them espcially after being in the bridal party.

If I were in that situation, I'd not be going to the reception either.  If they are going to have the kids in the bridal party and expect you to take them to the wedding, then they should also have made provisions for the children not being allowed at the reception.

Sorry sweetie, but it sounds like they are being rather selfish about it, and I am sure you are not the only one who is going to be in this position.