You've been given loads of good advice so I wont repeat it all! Just to add, my DD1 (5) became much naughtier at home once she started school. But she is also very tired from school (and from being good at school!), and as she has got more used to school her behaviour has slowly improved. If you think this may be a contributing factor, it may help to reduce her after-school activities for a term or two, to get her to bed a little earlier, or if nothing else it may help you to be more patient with her as you understand why she's being naughty? Good luck!

One more thing - focus on the positive.  Tell your kids what they CAN do instead of what they CAN'T do.  If you want her to stay close to you in the parking lot, rather than saying, "Don't run off now" say, "Stay near me".  If she's standing on her chair, remind her to sit by saying, "Sitting" instead of "Don't stand", "Walking" instead of "Don't run!", "Talking softly" instead of "Stop shouting!"  Children's brains are still developing and they DO have trouble remembering what they should be doing especially if they are feeling strong emotions or are distracted by physical or environmental factors.  Another book I can recommend is Claire Cherry's "Don't Sit on the Kids" she talks about the use of gerunds and positive framing of instructions for children and gives a lot of great examples.

I caution against spanking.  You will have more success with your daughter when she is older if you teach her self-discipline early on rather than parenting through fear.  Your goal as a parent shouldn't be to get a child to behave but to teach them how to behave.  Parenting and child rearing is about raising individuals who can take care of themselves.  People who are independent and capable.  To do this, you need to find ways to show your daughter that she is capable.  Spanking never does that and often only leads to more spankings in the future or a child who will hide things from you to keep from getting in trouble.  If you view discipline as a chance to teach rather than punish you will have a better relationship with your child and more leverage when they are too big for a swat on the behind to do any good.

A book I'd really recommend is "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.  It's quite excellent.  When you get frustrated and angry, it's hard to think clearly and reactions in the heat of the moment can set you up for future failures.  If she's 5 and just starting school than this is an age for her where she is pushing boundaries and figuring out where her place is in the world and her family.  She's not acting out just to make you angry, it's natural and normal for her to push her limits.  Some of her negative behaviors are probably getting big reactions from you which, if she's seeking your attention, will only reinforce those behaviors.  Make sure you are respecting her body cues (do her behaviors happen more often when she is hungry or tired?) and try to prepare for those ahead of time (don't plan activities during her nap time, bring a snack if she'll have to wait for her next meal).  Be very clear about  your expectations before an outing/event and stick to your word.  Only give choices that are actual choices, for example, when it's time to leave the playground avoid comments like, "Are you ready to go?" or "Do you want to go?"  If she's having fun, of course her answer will be no.  Give her notice at 10 min and 5 min before it is time to leave and when it is time to go be firm but give an option if you can (would you like to have a snack here at the bench before we leave or would you like to eat a different snack when we get home) or make it a game (Let's race to the car! or Let's count how many dandelions we pass on the way to bus stop! etc.)

Bottom line, no one likes being bossed around.  A 5yo who has begun school has already started to taste independence now that they're not under parental control all the time and have more peer interaction.  It's natural for her to test it at home as well.  It's your job to be firm and clear with how far that independence can go and to offer her as many choices pertaining to her life as is reasonable.

I know I am going to irritate some parents about this solution. Just good old fashion discpline. A few kind but firm swat on your princess's little bottom.

The shock of you actually showing who is the parent and who is the child will help.As being cheeky will she is still a kid. Remember discipline has to be kind, firm with love.

Otherwise you going to have a long road that is going to be rough. My sister in law has that same problem with her son and he is eight.

How are your drama queen skills?  Do you think you could throw a tantrum in public?  Go on, you know you want to.  No, I'm serious, by putting her in the situation of seeing you throwing a tantrum will embarrass her and certainly get her attention.  The more public, the better, and if it is in front of her friends, then that's the best!

Just drop to the ground and kick and carry on like she would (sounds like she might be one of these kids).  She will either laugh, or be so shocked she'll behave for a while.  Oh, you might feel silly, but would be a great release of tension to!

I know what you are going through.  Our daughter (same age) is the same, except, she behaves when we are out.  She is even trying to tell us that her teacher keeps saying this and that and that we need to do as her teacher tells us.  Um, teacher's not in this house!

Did she have daycare prior to starting school?  Ours didn't and my partner says that she is rebelling like this because it is the first time our little girl has really had contact with children her own age.

If all else fails, we should get our girls together and they can have a queen of the bossy boots competition.  See who walks away first.

I found with my oldest and the youngest, both extremely strong willed children, that instead of arguing or punishing, I walked away. Especially if they told me to go away, I just said "Fine cya". and walk off. They usually quickly came running. At this age, you can also explain that you don't like the behaviour and you will not talk to her or pay her attention if that is the way she wants to be. And then ignore her. It worked with mine, and still does to this day.

Hmm, strong character showing itself,LOL.  I wonder if she is now old enough to start earning her merits. So rather than banning TV when naughty, she has to earn TV etc when good. Merit chart worked for Ruth when she got a little above herself. I used happy smilies for good deeds and unhappy  for naughty. We set out the rules as to what got a good smiley and what got a naughty one. Sometimes seeing the naughty ones pile up can have a positive effect. More than one naughty a day and she did not earn the right to, TV, friends to play next day or what ever you choose. If she earned only good then Ruth got a few pennies to add to her purse. Other than this I dont know, as this did work for us, so we did not have to explore further, thankgoodness.

Best Wishes. Luv Winnie.xxxx