just a quick answer for the bribary part. We got it as kids (as in 20cents everytime we did a chor) and all i can say is now i appriciate money and no you have to work for it, that its not just given. My step son doesnt do anything around the house (he lives with us) and his father gives him $15 a week. Because he doesnt work for his money, he buys cheap crappy toys that either brack after the first go or gets tossed in the corner. He just doesnt care. But im not his "parent" so i dont get much say, just look like the wicked step mother!!! but with my daughter, she will earn her money, use it wisely and we will teach her to save. Your doing a good thing. You dont want kids to mooch off you until you run dry lol

1. I think that too many TV shows, books, etc; are more interested in making money than they are in really helping anyone, so every new idea on parenting that they come up with is just another marketing ploy. Although many ideas are great, some have obviously been thought up by someone who has never spent a day with a child. Like all advice, take what you feel is right and can use and ditch the rest.

2. Reward v's bribary v's earning is a thin line. I'd be inclined to follow the idea that :

• Reward is what is given when a child does something good and unasked for. Like you suddenly found they put the dishes away for you without having to be asked and it's something they wouldn't normally do.
• Bribary is asking them to do something they probably shouldn't be doing for a "reward". Like "Don't tell Daddy the milkman was visiting and I'll give you $5". LOL
• Earning is when they are given pocket money or a treat of some sort for a job they have been asked to do. Like putting out the garbage.

I'd be inclined to not reward or allow earning for jobs that are expected of them daily, such as keeping their rooms clean, otherwise they'll expect to get paid for everything in life and will be very disappointed later on when they find that no one is going to pay them for washing their dishes when they move out of home!

3. I thought that's what Pull-ups were supposed to do - stop kids wetting the bed? LMAO. You worded that so funny! I know what you mean though, and I have no idea. Sorry.

My mum when she use to take us shopping said at the start if you are good you can pick one piece of fruit from the fruit shop... Now if we played up we didnt get the fruit but if we didn't we got our fruit.... I know sounds odd but this was an incentive for us to be good as we loved our fruit.... Maybe by saying it before u sit down to dinner say if u finish ure dinner u can have dessert if u don't you wont get anything.

Just little things before you try and get them to do chores do a similar thing.

A very wise old lady, in a supermarket, once described this practice as ...."an incentive scheme" not a bribe.

I love that concept. Anyway its like saying when we go to work and receive a pay cheque we are being bribed! I dont think so.

AS far as the pull-ups....if it works use it. As a mum of six and a grandmum of one I have learnt that time passes very quickly and if  your 6 yr old needs them then thats fine, lets face it I am sure that at sometime she will grow out of it (I know that she wont be still wearing them at 21!) Dont sweat the small stuff, make life as easy for yourself as possible so you have time to enjoy your children.

We have a reward chart. My Son is autistic and daughter ADHD so it works well for us. they have 4-6 chours a week they have to do, 1 is to eat their dinner, take their plates and cups to the kitchen, bed wetting and a few others reguarding school. they have different rewards from a movie on tv to a toy dependig on how much they do out of the whole chours ie if they get 5 days in every thing they get $20 ( a lot I know but it is very rare)

personally i dont think it as bridery but as a reward. i think it is bribery if you harp on at them and use the reward to get them to do it. Just having a reward chart i have found is enough.

Also I have 2 bed wetters and I have told not to use pull ups for them. all it dose is limit washing. you also dont want her to get relient on them too.

good luck

I have had people tell me the same thing and i can understand the reasons for not bribing them with food as it 'could' lead to an unhealthy relationship with food later on, but as far as money goes, i do it all the time, i have a 10 year old and a nearly 9 year old  and we sometimes give them money to make cuppas or do certain chores, we even make them do hair tie hunts and sock hunts where they search the house for all the missing hair ties and socks and we give them a certain amount of money for each one they find.  As adults we don't get money unless we work for it so i don't think what you're doing is a bad thing at all.

I dont think what you are doing is bribary.  I think it is good giving the kids their own little bit of freedom.  We do a tally chart where every 20 tally's the kids get $5  We are changing it though so they get rewards like a movie hired or a day at the movies etc to give them somthing to look forward to as they got too slack with their jobs.  They get tally's for eg taking the bin out and helping with the dishes.  My girls absolutely love having their own pocket money but its even better that they have earnt it.  I too think the pull-ups are a comfort for your daughter so maybe if you do offer her a reward or incentive to go just in her knickers and not pull-ups may work.  My youngest daughter used to wet the bed and the pull-ups were always full in the mornings with her and we stopped drinks we done everything but it didnt' matter she was always wet but she grew out of it.  People used to tell me to make her wash her sheets and stuff but I felt she really couldnt' help it and refused to get up her so remember never to blame your daughter for it as I feel its somthing they really can't help.  Good luck with it all...I know its a pain now but it will eventually happen

Bribery to me is when you offer the reward for something your child should be doing any way.  I don't think it is bribery when they make you a cuppa or for doing the dishes. 

Your 6 year old probably feels more secure having the pull up pants.  Pure and simple, she knows that the bed won't get wet with them, but that she might wet the bed without them.  Because of that, she does wet the bed still.  Just take it easy with her.  Every week she has dry pull ups, let her have a night without them, and if she doesn't wet the bed, tell her that she can do it!!!!!!!!  We are trying this with our 4 year old too.