It is time to think about what YOU want, not what Shayne wants.  If you want to quit your job, then DO IT!  Having said that, it is ok to put Anthony into childcare for a few days a week so you can work during the day.  I don't work, neither does my partner, and we are thinking of putting our middle 2 girls into childcare for a couple of days a week for them as much as us!

I see it has been mentioned that what he is doing to you is a form of abuse.  That is very true.  If he is manipulating you and making you feel trapped, then he is abusing you.  Subtley of course, but what would happen if you were to rebel against him?  Would he really lash out?

You have had a rough time of things lately, a real sucky couple of months, but it is time to find YOURSELF.  BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.  Trust me, it took me a long time to do this, but am much happier knowing that I finally managed to gain the control in my life, though I was the one who had taken it away in the first place.

Is there anyway you could get another job that doesn't require you to work at night? I know if you are in a job that you don't like you find that you have no motivation for it and the rest of your life suffers.

Keep your chin up

I'm a little confused; is 'your man; Anthony' your son? And that would make Shayne your partner?

If Shayne rules your life to this extent now it isn't going to get better... No matter how gorgeous you may think him as a partner (& be realistic; lack of sleep could well be dulling your wits on this score).

Domestic abuse is now recognised as being far more than merely broken bones & bruises. I had a partner who wouldn't permit me to sleep.. Its a very handy way of torturing & controlling people... So is refusing to provide enough money to eat, belittling, etc.

Anyone who controls your life to such an extent as to deprive you of your basic needs is an abuser. And abusers don't get kinder towards their subjects; they only get crueller. If you quitting your job means Shayne walks; then honey you are better off without him. There simply isn't a kinder way to put this & I suggest you tell him so.

hugs

a survivor of (the more subtle forms of) domestic abuse