I have once stepped in waiting for a bus. The mother had a 2 year old on top of the pram and a baby in the pram and she was carrying on at the toddler, calling him all sorts of horrible names that are not appropriate to write here for adults let alone a child to hear. He was crying and hysterical and this just made her yell at him more. I did step in and tell her to quit it before I called the police, she just turned on me but atleast it wasn't the child copping it. I get that people have bad days, I have been known to have them and get snippy at my baby telling him to hush up, but there is a line and she crossed it.

 

I have been thru this myself, and let me tell you from my side of the fence....Unless you see actually abuse, I would rather you approch me and talk to me, then jump to conclusions, unless you see actually abuse.  I look at it like this, you never know what it's like in their family.  You don't know if this is a one time thing, or if there are other stresses that are causing the parent to come across harsh.  Also, culturally speaking, I see many parents who are mean sounding or short with their kids when they are misbehaving or being bad, but on the same note are extremely loving parents who play with them and love them and care for them the best when the rest of the time.  I know for me, I'm short with my daughter, calm, but I do not accept certain behavour from her.  And I will do certain things to her, like make her sit down when she is screaming, or spank her when she has hurt her brother.  For me that is my culture.  I don't abuse, and I love my babies more then anyone!  I would never step in, unless I can see that the mother needs help with her child and either of them may be in harm.  I would never cast a stone at someone, knowing that I might one day be in that same situation and would wish that no stones be cast at me.  Does the make sense? 

And yes, there are times that I think, why is that mom being so mean to the baby, but on that same note, I know that I been strict with my girl to, so I have to right to pass judgement.  As have often been upset and short with her cause I've been stressed or tired, or embarrassed by her actions...For me, like I said, unless they look like they need help, or someone is in immediate danger, I let them be.  As you never know the reason behind it and we need not judge what we don't know anything about...

Whoa this is a biggy....Its very hard to say because knowing me i would just pass by but complain loudly later and you wonder if the little boy being abused in the supermarket is about to become another news report.I also know i hate when people (especially old ladies) love to but in and say something while you rouse on your son or daughter.

But also does anyone evr go off at teachers for that either...I hear teachers going hell for leather on their students sometimes and i wonder whose ever told tir little johnny got called a "dumb freak" thismorning.

Im a scardy cat at the best of times so i think i would have to say i'd probably totally chicken out and pass by like most would.

I have been that disgusted. And i have called the Authorities. Unfortunately our case was not severe enough for them to worry about. So nothing was ever done by them. However, we did inform the people we had reported. We told them that they needed to clean up their act. And thank the heavens above, it made them realise that what they were doing was wrong and they put an end to it.

Mind you, i am not talking about physical abuse. I am talking about general mistreatment of the children. Drugs were involved, the children were not being fed properly and were quite often awake to do what they wanted while their parents were recovering from the night before.

i agree, usually there is more to the story than what we see when visiting someone.  and it's true, if it is out right abuse and i would like to think we all know what abuse constitutes, then by all means step in to make sure the child is safe and then see to the parent.

maybe they have just had a bad day and let it get out of control.  if i get too upset, i go to the bathroom and wash my hands and face, very slowly.   maybe the parent needs an ear or a break.  there are tactful ways to find out what is happening and initiating a conversation to see if you can help by even just listening can sometimes take a bit of a weight off of a parents shoulders. 

keep in mind that not all of us do it the same way and what works for us might not work for them.  often times children, depending on their age, act differently in front of relatives and company there fore feeding in to that illusion that maybe the parent is too harsh on them etc.  we can not let ourselves be tricked into siding with a innocent child when perhaps they are very horrible towards their parents when other eyes are not watching.

some kids like to do this and it's only after a parent has to tell some type of embarassing story about what they did will onlookers gain the whole picture.  so sometimes it's wise to keep in mind that there must be more than meets the eye.

Every parent does the best they can, or copes the best way they know how.  as an observer, we don't have the full story, so unless it is outright abuse, then reporting an incident can actually cause more harm to a family than good.

Everyone loses it from time to time.  Children who are repeatedly abused lose their smile, become distant and moody and will often resort to distressing behaviuors.  just because a parent has a bad moment, doesn't mean they are a bad parent.  What we see is not the full story and even if we don't like it, we have to remember that not everyone is the same.

If I see a parent lashing out at a child, its a really hard topic to know what to do. At every turn I see parents speaking down to their children or punishing them or not listening, it is frustrating to watch. Especially when you see the look on the childs face. Occasionally I have just smiled sympathetically at the child so that they know someone cares. Or I have offered to help the parent carry their shopping or opened a door for them. I've been told to mind my own business but I've also had a mum cry and say thank you. Attacking a child is always a projection or blameful action. It is abuse and sends the wrong message, but generally I find that it is the last tool that parents pull out of their toolbox when they are at the end of their rope. Not to justify it but these parents need help rather than judging. Parenting can be very overwhelming and some people just don't have good training or rolemodels.