hey, i have a 3year old and a 5 year, my 3year old see's her dad's family every now and then , but i dont like her seeing her dad due to a past voilent relationship..i am fine with her grand parents seeing her though...they babysit her over night every now and then, and my problem is that her grandmother picks her up and says she's going to have her for the night but when i ring summer up at night to see how she is i get told by the grandmother that she has taken her to her dads...is there anyway that i can stop this from happining. i've spoken to the grandmother and told her my concerns but she see's him as being fine looking after her. my concerns when she is there are that she is being feed properly and has proper sleeping area...she sleeps on a matress on the floor at his.which i dont find really approipriate .and when she gets back its really annoying cause she is out of routine from staying up late and being allowed to do what ever she wants over there. I feel like i'm in a tricky situation though, cause i find it hard to say no to her and to tell her that i dont want him to see her due to what has happened to me in the past, but also i dont wanna result in having to stop her having contact with summer because i like the grandmother and she is nice but i just dont want her to go behind my back and say she is having her and then she doesnt...does anyone know what i can do or say ...
If your that worried about it, which I don't think you are, then you need to stop the grandmother taking her. She obviously can't be trusted if she goes against your wishes. This is what I would have done the first time she broke my trust and went behind my back lying. You say you turst her but she doesn't sound very trust worthy to me.
I think you need to stop all contact and get a court order written out specifically stating that the Grandparents are NOT to take her to her fathers to stay. Maybe allowing him to see her at the grandparents house is a good alternative to stopping all contact if it's what you want.
And no sleeping on the floor on a mattress isn't a good arrangement at all. If he was serious about seeing his daughter he should have a bed for her.
I'm not sure what the situation is regarding a family court consent order, however, if you do not have one in place it maybe worth seeking legal advice about putting an application into the family court.
In the meantime it maybe worth contacting a relationship centre which can help with mediation. These have trained counsellors that can assist families in working out arrangements that are in the best interests of the child. Grandparents can be part of the process. Perhaps through a third party your concerns can be addressed.
Even if you make an application to the Family Court, they will order you to mediation anyway so you may as well try to come to an agreement. Take a look at The family law courts web-site. It has lots of advice on family law and several links to related sites. It also discusses developing a parenting plan.
Sometimes it is better to have a formalised agreement so everyone knows where they stand.
You say you trust he grandmother right?? You should let her take your daughter to see her father. As long as he isnt mistreating her then what is the problem? Sorry if i come off rude but my mum had a hard time with my dad and was beaten up for 17yrs, when my mum finally got away from him she never stopped us from seeing our dad, if he had mistreatan us then thats a different story.
I know he has hurt you in the past but you shudnt keep your daughter away from her dad, she may turn against you when she is old enough to understand.
Tell the grandma she can take your daughter to visit the dad but is not to leave her there with him unsupervised.
The only way you can prevent the grandparents from taking your daughter to her dads is to get a court order. One that specificly states that the grandparents are not allowed to take her there themselves, or they will be in breech of a court order (also known as contempt of court).
well really you cant do anything if the nan has her and your happy with it then what she does with the time with your daughter is intirly up to her, and if you are not wanting the dad to see your girl then you need to take it to court and the best you can hope for is they forse him to suply her with a room and bed of her own and if possible make him have her at his mothers.
sorry the laws suck now days and theres nothing more the judges hate then a mum who says but i let him see her, because in there eyes its not your choise and not in your intrests how things work out.
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