Please know that this is very common and this is a stage..almost every baby goes through this at some point..I have read that the best way to get through this is to let the baby know ahead of time( 15 minutes or ) that you are leaving and will see him later..Sneaking out is bad and it may make the child more clingy since you just disappeared..Kids this age know when you're not there and just don't know when and if you'll be back..It is a stage and he will get through it..
Good luck and I hope it passes quickly

Both my DDs hit separation anxiety around 12 months, even though they would go to anybody quite happily before this. It's just an unavoidable stage IMO. 

With DD1, we partially cured it by getting her attached to a childminder, but she would still put up a fight at each separation, and I found the kindest thing for both of us was not "dump & run" (which works for most people) but for me to stay and chat to the childminder and get her settled and playing before I took off. It was also what I had to do when she went to Preschool, as I was advised by the staff to dump & run but eventually a few weeks in they had to call me back after 90 minutes as she was a little under the weather and had not stopped screaming! After that I just got her playing and then kissed her goodbye and said I'd be back after juice & toast time, making sure to give an Oscar-winning performance of confidence! She cried but then went back to playing once I was out of sight! After a term of this, I was able to go much sooner, and when she was older, she would run in and I'd have to call her back for a kiss for my own benefit LOL!

I've just naturally done the same with DD2 though I know I could get away with dump & run much easier as she's not so persistent as big sister!

So, I recommend you try dump & run, but use the settling in as I did if that fails, or if it makes YOU feel more confident. But your son will soon settle down again, if he believes you are not worried.

 I went through the same with my son. He started day care at 11 months and was fine, but suddenly at 16 months began to become upset. We moved him and he settled well again, but after a few months it started again. I found this extremely difficult and can relate to what you are feeling. The one thing that helped was when I picked him up at the end of the day/session he was happy and had no fear of returning if asked.

We tried staying at the nursery for a while to help him settle each day waiting for him to "detach" from us. This did not work at all. Staff reported that he was calm after a couple of minutes, but still my concern was there. I would peep through the window after I left to check on him and do you know they were telling the truth!!  I even called during the day to check he was ok and this helped me to get on with my work. Eventually I decided to drop him at the door rather than entering his room. I would just place his hand in one of the staffs' hands. This has worked well. He now goes in freely by himself and is happy to leave me even if I enter his room. 

I have several friends who have children the same age as my son (2 1/2) and they have been through or are going through the same thing. You are not alone even though at times it feels like it. I hope you find a solution that helps quicker than I did and that you find the support to work through each 'stage' that your little one throws at you.

Before having Katelyn 12 weeks ago I worked in a childcare centre for 4 years and I've seen this many times... I even had the same problem leaving my son in childcare I had the problem not him. it is very normal what he is doing he is picking up on your vibes. I'm sure if you went back 10 minutes after dropping him off he would be playing and be happy. know that when you drop him off that it is for his own good he can get the social interactions that only other children can provide and he is in good hands with his carers.

I hope I have helped in some way

take care

AnitaXX

I am on the separate end, when I am with my kids and I give my husband a break my youngest one fusses alot about daddy being gone. She throws a temper tantrum, he has to put her to bed, etc. She is a total daddy's girl. I play with her and make her laugh but it is not the same when he gets home she bolts to for the door. All you can do is the best that you can, at least you care and are showing emotion about it.  My sister never has her son and she is a single mother I have a fit if I am away from my kids for more than a day is that normal? I feel that it is. All you can do is tell yourself that you are doing this for them, to take care of them and provide the best care possible. Spend as much time with him as you can because that is what is most important.  I lost that for a while and I regret it.  This whole role reversal has my family in pi$$ed of mode too, but I make more than enough money to support our family I have excellent benefits and I feek that if it is not necessary right now my husband can wait to get a job until both kids are in school.  We have a lot, a nice newer home, brand new car, a van, two computers, 42" HD tv and the kids even have thier own tv for at night time to go to bed, I hope that I have helped out a little bit and that can shed a little light on the subject for you.  Good luck and God Bless!

Hi give yourself a hug, of course you feel overwhelmed, it's difficult for any Mum. My daughter has been in care two days a week. To help her, I sit and allow her the time to settle before I leave, I play, read a book and let her choose the time she goes off and does her own thing. Because I am now working I have allowed extra time for her to say goodbye so she does not get upset. I always say goodbye and sometimes she waves and other times she is just having a good time. The staff tell me the crying usually lasts for only a few minutes with the other kids. Good Luck xx.

By doing exactly what you are doing.  Walk away not letting him see you so upset.  that will make him think there is a reason to get upset himself.

As for how to deal with your seperation anxiety, get out and about on your own and enjoy it.  You deserve you time too after all!  I think you might be feeling more guilty about leaving him there than anything, and that's normal.  You just need to remember it does you both good to be apart for a while and that he is going to be fine.  He's not going to resent you for it at all.  Have a cuppa, get your hair done, window shop and make your wish list for Christmas etc. 

When my daughter and son were going through seperation anxiety, I really had to perservere at it and even though you want to give in and throw your hands in the air and give in to the cries of their hearts it will be all worth it in the end.  As now they are confident young individuals who shine.  So many times I just wanted to take them home with me and not let them go through the upset,  but I knew that I would have been building a rod for my own back by giving in.  I also spent time praying over my son especially as his anxiety seemed out of control he would be excited about going to a birthday party he had been invited to then go ballasitic when the party rolled around. even a few days before he would show signs of not wanting to go even though we had bought the present.  As he slept I would put my hands on him and ask God to take away all the fears he had in his heart.  And woilla it worked.  Anxiety is driven by fear.  Reassure him that you are comming back and that you wouldn't leave him.  Alot of small children tend to go through this at one stage but I hope that you can be encouraged that it does't last, just keep up the good work.

It would seem to me that he would be over the seperation anxiety since he has already been going for 5 months with no problems.  I guess it's possible it just dawned on him or perhaps there is something happening that he does not like there.

I would talk to his daycare provider to find out how he gets along with the other children, if there are any.  Not sure if you take him to public or private day care.  Maybe he had a conflict or possibly got scolded for something not appropriate.  Again, these are just the things I would run through my head if it was my child.

If he is talking you might possibly be able to ask him why he doesn't want to go but be sure to not ask leading questions, keep it simple.  If he is not talking, then all you can do is to rely on the word of the day care provider.  I know that probably this is not much help and it's really not that easy to cope, at least it wasn't for me but I muddled through it and came out ok the day my son said, "Ok mommy, you can go now." lol.  

Sorta stabs you but then you realize, he is ok with it and doesn't seem to be suffering as much as I am.  We worry for them so much and to hear that little bit of independance is tough. 
If you ever have doubts, just ask them, show up unannounced ( I loved doing that).  Showing up unannounced gives you a more realistic view of how he is spending his day. 

If they have the web cam thing enabled, not sure what they call it, take advantage of that and peep in as often as you like. 

In the end, it's a struggle to let go and I hope that you will be ok through this little bump in the road.

aaliyah xoxo