Hi there!

Isn't it the worst feeling when your normally well-behaved child has one of those moments? I have a little boy who's nearly three, and he has been known to pull that kind of thing during quick stops at the store. What works for me is letting him "help". This can be as simple as letting him pick the bread (from my pre-selected choices!) or as interesting as letting him "drive" the cart (with my assistance). I just tell him on the way into the store that I really need his help, and generally that works.

Of course there are those days when nothing keeps that child in line. That's when I have to decide if I am going to ignore him (running away notwithstanding) or just live without the items at the store. I've been known to leave carts, take the child home for a time out, and go back later. A hassle, yes, inconvenient, yes, but really, better to do shopping at 9 pm with the kid at home with Dad then to have to deal with that. Sometimes a quick time out in the car works too.

The important thing to remember - and the hardest! - is to just keep in mind that you are the boss. It's a natural part of growing up, testing limits, and we do want them to challenge us, but at the end of it all, it's going to be your way. And points to you for not losing it and smacking the kid. Try to stay cool, remember that this is one moment in a whole lifetime of moments, and you can handle this.

Good luck!

Stacie

In order to feel more in control, do what you are doing and work out a "next time" plan!

My DD1 has only sprinted off a couple of times, and it was awful. But she was older than 2 by then. I kept her in the trolley for as long as humanly possible, even if I was just getting two items, because it saves so much agro! After that, I took the wrist strap or reigns with me, and if she was even a tiny bit awkward, I threatened to put them on her, which kept her inline pretty well, and when it didnt, she was imobilised in them! She only threw one tantrum in a shop thank goodness, and my reaction was the same as when I used to work in shops & had an awkward customer - focus on the shopping, no-one else in the store counts! After all, nearly everyone who has had children will have experienced at least one shopping tantrum. If they've forgotten, pity their memory loss. If they havent had kids yet, one day they will experience one and realise how unfair they were. Everyone else will be secretly sympathising and willing you on! If not, then their opinion is worthless as they dont live in the real world IMO!

ha!  what is it about the age?  I like to set some expectations upfront, and then you have to followthrough.  Usually I would say that mommy wants to finish her shopping and that if she can't we will have to go straight home and not to the park first, which is a terrible event.

I have to say, we have always had our 2year olds strapped into a pram when out, unless my partner takes them shopping then it is just him and the 2 year old.

He is doing this because you gave him the freedom.  Have you heard the saying 'give an inch they'll want a mile'?  Well, it is the same with toddlers.  You give them the freedom after they are not entirely used to it, and they will take full advantage of it.

As for disciplining him, we get ours to hold the trolley or pram and tell them that next time there is shopping to be done, they won't be allowed to go as they have been naughty.  For our kids it is a treat to go out shopping, so most of the time they do behave.

You say that you were one of those people who looked at other parents and thought they needed to get control of their kids.  I hope this experience gives you a greater insight into how hard it can be to be out and about with a toddler.  I've always been the parent that is told to get control of her kids, and mine are in a pram.  I can tell you now, it doesn't feel very nice to be the one who everyone is looking at as though I have no idea how to be a mother, and it is one of the reasons I don't leave the house much these days.  Sorry if I sound unsympathetic, not my intention, because I know how you felt, I feel it every time I leave the house.

Aargh, been there, done that!  Isn't it horrible... Now we have a BIG talk about our day and what will we do during the day.  We also talk about what kind of behaviour is expected so that we can have lots of FUN.  If MicroMe behaves at the supermarket, stays beside me, or even gets in the trolley; he gets to pick one of those ride on toys to go on, or a trip to feed the ducks or to have a treat (like an ice-cream) or something like that.   We don't discuss any sort of behaviour that we don't want, only what we DO WANT.

Most of the time doing the groundwork before hand pays off... When it doesn't I have been known to leave everything but the essentials behind, pack him into the car and head straight home... He is learning that, that is NO FUN, and that there is no reward except a cranky Mumma.

have to first fully agree with both ladies here......wise answers, i use them both and they do work.........

i usually will start with everyone is looking at you one and they really don't like people looking at them, not sure why but it works.....lol.......

if that doesn't work it's followed by the lady is going to came and get angry at you ....i have actually never had to ask them to let them know they are doing something wrong, but the day it continues i will and am sure it will bring great results.......

good luck with it all, it's a great time for testing us......lol....hugs Sandra xxx

When the going gets real tough, ask some one else to deal with it...

Ok sounds horrid... But when my son did this at the chemist one day,  a man knelt down beside him and asked if he needed an ambulance... My son was up in a flash and hanging off me would not move...

My mother also told me a story,  mum was watching this lady tell her kid to stop playing with a ball that he had picked up out of one of those special bin things half price or something. It was a small bouncy ball.. Anyway kid would not listen to mum.. So mum asked one of the ladies behind the counter to ask him to stop....

The lady said "if you continue to play with that, I will have to ask you to leave the store" (he was a little older then 3) and mum said the kid just stopped in his tracks and went and stood by his mother...

I am not saying you would want to do this all the time.. But after talking to my mum we have decided it is one of two things, the kids are either embarrassed about being told off by someone else, or realize that a stranger is talking to them and that is not a good thing to do...

Either way  if you run out of other things to try, and you try this. GOod luck

Hi Melgres I hope this post finds you well.

This happened to me also with Ebony, what I did and still do if she plays up, I take a very firm grip if her hand arm wrist what ever i can get a hold of quick. Then i whisper in her ear in a very firm voice. Same as you don't run away etc etc. If it is really bad I threaten to pull her pants down in front of everyone and smack her bare bum.

I am not sure where you stand on the threat or even smacking. But the threat alone pulls Ebony into line.

Also If she is really bad I whisper in her ear that every one is looking at her and seeing how naughty she is etc etc.

Good Luck and I hope I have helped have a wonderful day