As a young mum, who originally didn't want to have the baby she has now had, and whos husband isn't around to help out, and whos family isn't close, I can see why she might be a little cold. I don't think it would be personal. You might be the mother in law/grandmother but you aren't her true family which is what she needs right now. She is probably very lonely and feeling very down about it. She might have post natal depression. Being a mother is a very full on job, and even more so when you don't have the other parent to help out. Then to not have her mum around to help would just be horrible.
I am sure she knows you care, and it is very admirable that you want to help out. I wouldn't take it personally. She might just need to be around her family so she doesn't feel so alone. Then when your son comes back, you will get to see your grandson more often.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with making a time to visit. It is very hard raising a child alone and sometimes you just don't want to see anyone. It is also a very much a full time job and just as if she was someone working in an office, you would have to make a time to see her, so respect her way of organising visitors and be there if she needs you.

Hi there. Sorry to hear that you are in this situation. My thoughts are that she has probably had her parents on her back about you. If her family was that much against her being married and having her son with your son, then maybe they are the reason behind her distance from you.

It is very difficult to be on your own in the world at that age. I cant even imagine how much harder it would be with a new baby too. Parents are very influential people and i think that with your son away, she is probably turning to them more for support.

I agree that making a set day and time would be a good idea. I remember how hard it was for me when Austin was born, with people wanting to come and visit, or wanting me to go there, and i just couldnt do it most of the time.

Good luck, i hope you can sort this out.

I don't feel that it is a problem to make an appointment to see someone though I don't look at it as an appointment but as a time to catch up when it is convenient for both parties as everyones life is busy. Maybe she would be happy with a set day and hours where she would agree you come over and give her a rest. She could feel like the babies routine is messed up if people are coming and going as they please. Different people have different ideas on how to raise children after all so it is a fine line of helping and having her feel not overtaken. I work in the industry of home care and it is important to respect the mothers wishes unless it is abusive behaviour of course and they have to trust you completely that you are there for them. Hope this makes sense as she could be struggling and needs support that could be why she is going elsewhere to be near help. I hope that your relationship with her can be a good one so that you can be near your grandson too!

I really wish I could help you out but when she fell pregnant and wanted the abortion maybe it was because of her family hounding her.  She must have some love for your son as she did decide to marry him and keep the baby which is great.  Have you talked to your son about it?  Another thing I have thought of is maybe she has post natal depression.  She is probably lonely if her family isn't around her and maybe that is why the move until your son gets back.  Have you tried to talk to her about it?  Maybe if she will let you and she has friends ask if you can look after your grandson while she goes out for lunch or dinner.  She sounds lucky to have a MIL that is willing to help out mine has never ever been that interested in our children ( her only grandchildren) to look after them or help when needed. Anyway good luck and I hope you can see your little grandbaby a lot more soon.

nikki xx