i congrat you on being a mature girl and thinking about this instead of just doing it. i was under the impression i would be super mum at 20.... im 21 now with a 7 month old and its hard, my daughter had a complicated birth which resulted in me having a third degree tear. if you dont no what it means, i will tell you. i was ripped from the tip, to the bottom and again to the side. i was in hospital for weeks and coulndt walk for a long time.... which resulted in my partner having time off work, using all his holidays and sick pay, then staying ome for another week without pay... not every birth is 2 huffs and puffs then a beautiful baby in your arms, there can be many complications

i do no people who have had kids at yoiur age and everything has worked out like a dream but then there are the others.

try this out for a month. set your alarm for every hour and wake for 15 mins each time. dont napp through the day and its just a small preview you of your life to be, just without the crying and pain

Hi Taleah

As you have read many comments and heard how we the minti members  feel about your decesion to have a baby and plans you have made....l know what it is like (so do many others here on Minti) in having a baby so young. l am not here to judge you in anyway but please take the time to listern to people who have been through pregnancy at a young age.

l thought l had my life planned out as well, l was doing year 11, babysitting part time and being a teenager ....at 16 years l found out l was 16 weeks pregnant with my first son, l had only been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 months and now l was to become a mum. We where both unemployed and living off the dole - budget was very hard to do with rent, food, bills and all the babys needs. l thought the same thing , my baby would be older when l had my 18th birthday but things changed l never got the party or what was planned  after all the invitations where sent out and things where booked l found out l was nearly  6 months pregnant and there never ended up being a big birthday bash with freinds due to illness. l was going to be a mummy again and l was only 18 years old. l am now 32 years old and with 5 kids, l can say without the support from my parents l dont know what would have happened when l was younger. My teenage mum life was a happy one with support but there are many out there that have a hard time. lm very lucky to have had the support l need. l am trying to get my education now (should have finished it when l was at school), be a full time mum to 2 teenagers, 2 primary kids and 1 three month old baby.l love my boys so much and l never regret having my older two boys so young....thanks mum and dad and other family members for the support l need at the time.

Please take the time to enjoy life before you have a baby of your own, you have heaps of time ahead of you. l sometimes wonder how fast these 15 1/2 years went for me.

Good luck and l hope this healped abit

Heather

Personally, I would leave the baby to a later date in life. From what you have told here, you have been a surrogate parent for a lot your life anyway.

How about having some you time?

Finish your studies, experience different things like jobs, travel or even more study (sounds crazy, but hindsight is a wonderful thing).

 How about being just a regular teen without any concerns or need to care for someone else?

Having a child is such a lifestyle change. It's a physical, emotional and financial change that nothing can really prepare you for. When I was pregnant I was determined that I was going back to work full-time when bub was 8 weeks old. My boss convinced me to take 6 months off and come back part-time to begin with. I'm glad I did what he offered. And you know what... I hated every moment I was at the place away from my son. I left when he 13 months old, had a break for a few months and took up part-time study at night. I have finished my diploma and now I am doing university via open universities so that I can do it all at home. And now I am applying for part-time jobs, jobs that I WANT to do because I have the skills and qualifications to do. There's nothing like going to work doing a job that you hate, because you don't have the necessary skills to get what you want...and then having a bub on top of it all.

My son is 3yo and I am 29yo. I am a sole parent with no input/contact from the person who helped me concieve this child. But I have lived a sometimes crazy life, experienced things I never thought possible and achieved things that I am proud of and provided a role model for my son that I think he will be proud of too.

Have some fun while you can and do something for yourself.

The only thing I could say is not matter how much you plan your life, a child will change the plans...

At least that is it in my case....  Being a mother for me anyway is somewhat unpredictable, I find it hard to plan things because when I do some mysterious illness occurs, or I can't find a babysitter or well just about anything.

While I have nothing against young mothers, I wanted to be one myself, but I must say knowing now what I do, I am rather glad i did not.

I got all my travel done, and then settled down... 

I wish you all the luck in what you plan, just if you want my advice, all I can say is that what you plan may not actually work out the way you want it to after you have had your child...

Good luck

Coming form a Mother who has a child with medical special needs I would say don't always realy on the fact that YOUR baby will be born healthy!!!!! Our's wasn't....and I had the perfect preganncy really. I worked out at the gym 6 days per week including the week I concieved, I also taught school up until the day before I delivered I also has NO complications whatsoever.....

What are ou going to do if you have a c hild who requires mulitple surgeries, is sick all t he time, takes TONS of medications....it's alot of stress and ALOT of MONEY!!!!!!!! ALOT of MONEY!!!!! We are almost flat broke and we got all the other things in life out of the way BEFROE having a child. I cna't imagine if we had done it th eother way around.

Be prepared....having a baby will not go as you have planned. Things happen and you will be forced to re adjust your plans.

If I were you I would put the baby last and get schoolwork/college, marriage, ECT all done first.

I feel that 16 is too young to be considering to have a baby, but then,I don't know you or your circumstances.  Remember, a baby is a lot of hard work.  they don't come with an off switch and you will lose a lot of sleep.  Pregnancy will be hard on your body, as you are still growing.  You need to think about all these things very carefully.

You have plans to travel.  All good,but you have to survive the first year of having a baby first, and it is very tough.

Completing your education is a good idea, but remember, pregnancy can take a lot out of you.  You may find you are tired all the time and constantly not in the mood to do your school work.  Be prepared for that to happen, but remember, you can always go back to it in the future.

By your age, I was trying to find who I was, and I was very mature for 16.  There was no way that I was ready to have a baby, and even when I did finally have one at 22, it was the shock of a lifetime, I was for the first time ever, responsible for a tiny,helpless person and it was hard work.

Whatever you decide, you have to decide what is right for you.  Having a baby for the sakes of having a baby isn't a good idea at your age.  It does severely restrict your options, not to mention, you may lose many of your friends because you don't have time for them.

A good strong support network around you is going to be a must, and I think at your age, some counselling about it before you make a final decision would be a good idea.  Your local youth services should be able to help you there.

Another thing you are going to have to consider is your finances and your living arrangements.  You say you have been in a stable relationship for a while.  How long to you is a while?  2 months, 6 months, a year?  You are still a baby yourself, and have not fully acquired many skills you need to survive in this cruel world.  Having a baby puts a lot of pressure on your relationship, so you have to really think about how you would cope if your fiance decided it was too tough for him.

Basically, if I were you, I'd wait until I was a few more years older and work on gaining more life skills and spend time finding myself before I decided on bringing a baby into the world.

It is your choice though, and if you think you can do it, then go for it.  I just don't want you to feel as though you have made a mistake when and if things don't turn out the way you plan.

I was 19 when I had my kids and my hubby and I had nothing. he didnt work at the time and I am unable to work. So dont let ppl tell you money is a problem. You dont need to spend a heap on the baby. they need a few clothes and nappies a bed and blankets.

house wise it is so $ atm to buy a house so renting is a better option. we are lucky and we built our house with my in laws help. so we are paying them off not a bank.

The only thing my hubby and I regret about having our kids young was we didnt have us time. we had 11 months together before we fell pregnant, but you know what, when we are35 our kids will be old enough to look after themself and we can do it then.

Do what you and your partner feel is right. My baby sis had her bub at 17 and he is a shit, but she is a good mum. I know heaps of ppl who have had kids at 16-18 and they have a wonderful life now.

But remember just because you are 16 doesnt mean you will fall pregnant the first try. many ppl have to try for ages. but some people dont have to try. so dont get your hopes up.

Good luck with your plans they sound great and well organised

Hey there,

I never planned to get pregnant but now im about ot pop anyday. Im 18, been with my partner for 3 years now and we live together. I would have loved to own my own house or should i say paying it off before i got pregnant. Now im paying $290 a week rent. Bills cost alot, food, our own needs and wants ect. We have spent way over $5000 on the baby so far and i know once he is born our wants will no longer exist cos we wont be able to afford it.

One thing you have to realise is babies do grow. Alot of young people think, oh babies are so cute ect ect, but fact is, they dont stay small for long and soon enough they are running around tiring you out. I have looked after my neice sinc ei was 7, since then had another 2neices comeinto the world who i helped look after. So yes ive had alot of experience with kids but who knows what my own will be like. When its someone elses child you can still do what you want but when its your own you have to work around your child, they come first. Like when thehy are little, you cant just go shopping or friends places, it may clash with feeding time or nap time.

While your not pregnant, id say dont try, not at 16. Its not your age, its how are you going to support the child?? do you have your own house?? can you afford to buy what your baby needs?? can you drive to where you need to get too?? do you have any qualifications in any area so you can ever get a job??

A child serioosly changes your life!! My baby isnt born yet but so many things have changed already, and i sit here some days and think, "omg, im really goning to be a mum!! this child is dependant on me!! Im resposnsible for him!! if i dont feed him, he will starve ect"

Although i cantw ait to be a  mum and i dont regret keeping my baby, i do think things would turn out alot easier if i owned my own home. I was never the type to wana party ect so that doesnt worry me at all.

So while your plan might seem all well to you, things canta lways turn out the way youw ant them too, you never know what the future holds. Get a job and save your money i say, you have years and years too fall pregnant. Also being 16 youw ant to make sure your with the right guy.. while we will never know if we are, at least try living with your bf, you may not even get along 24/7

I hope id ont sound negative in anyway, i just dont think its something you should try and plan out and plan to happen so young.

Sounds to me like you have it all planned out.  Planning is good, but always have a plan B!  My husband and I dated for 10 years (I know.....), but during that 10 years we traveled, went to movies, basically did what we wanted when we wanted.  I didn't have my first child until I was 30 so I had plenty of play time and I strongly recommend that you do as well.  You just can't do those things as often after you have children and certainly without a lot of planning.  You have basically been "a mom" to your siblings for a while so I think you and your fiance' need to enjoy each other for a while before having babies. Finish school (much harder with children), travel, get established in a home and a comfortable environment.  Enjoy YOUR life first.  Experience life for yourself. However you want to say it, but I recommend to all young people........ I never have to look back and say "I sure wish I had been able to........, but I couldn't because I coudn't get a babysitter, leave my child, baby was sick, etc, etc, etc!!!!!!    Live life like you mean it baby!!!!