Hi, my little girl is 16 months old and when things do not go her way the tantrums, hitting, whinging come on.  I like you thought they started at 2 but the more friends I chat to the earlier they say their toddlers started. 

These are some of the things I use, sometimes they work and other times they don't.......However, I think consistency is the key and hopefully one day they will learn.

If I am holding her and she hits my face I say in a firm voice No, mummy does not like being hit and put her down straight away.

Each morning when she wakes up I bring her into bed with me and we lay on a pillow so our faces are about 10cm apart and I stroke her face gently saying `gentle, gentle' and then she does it to my face (it is so gorgeous!) and sometimes when she is rough I use the words gentle, gentle and often it works!

Chloe loves shopping and being out and about.  I have found that if I pack her several snacks in a special container it keeps her amused whilst shopping (things such as sultanas, a couple of tiny teddies, slices of apple, a piece of cheese etc) If we are going for a walk in a pram I bring along her water bottle which for some reason she loves, her comforter and make sure that she can see out of her sunshade.

If I go out for lunch with a friend I always pack her some snacks and if she hasn't had any unhealthy food for awhile chips and a babychino are a treat for her and she loves it!

If Chloe cracks a tantrum because she can't have something she wants I ensure she is safe, ignore her and let her have her tantrum.  Then I begin playing with one of her dolls, or a toy I know she loves and soon enough she is by myside wanting whatever I have in my hand. 

I find the tantrums come on more when she gets frustrated because I don't understand what she wants.  I am hoping that once she can talk these kinds of tantrums will subside (fingers crossed!)

I wish you the best of luck and know that you are not alone!

Tania

With my 14 month old if we are home he goes into timeout when he tries to hurt me on purpose.... when we are out i use a couple of techniques.

1. If I can and not too busy I sit him on my lap and hold both hands in his lap. This is when i tell him you are being naughty and until you stop having tantrums we are not going anywhere.
2. If we are in the middle of being busy and have the pram I tell him to behave if he doesnt then I say well then you are getting strapped in, if he still doesnt behave then I tell him well you obviously don't want to sit up and force him to lie down in the pram.
3. If we are using a trolley he gets smacks on the hand, NOT TOO HARD, but hard enough that he knows he has done wrong if this doesnt work then eventually we progress to the bottom, AGAIN NOT TOO HARD, but hard enough that he knows he has done something wrong.

Hope this helps.

Ok, now that my 14 month old has stopped her screaming, I can finally get to your question.

Basically, it is normal behaviour, very disturbing and frustrating, but perfectly normal.  Your little one is trying to find her way in the world and is getting frustrated when things don't quite go to hisplan.  At his age, everything is still about him at least that's the way he sees it.

The best thing you can do is ignore the behaviour.  The more attention you give to it, the worse it will become.  When your son lashes out and tries to pinch or bite you, push him away with a firm no.  Watch his face fall and the tears flow, but don't pick him up, he's testing you.

As for doing this when you are out, put him in a trolley or stroller when he starts it.  He likes to walk, you need to shop, need trumps likes, so be the boss and take away from him what he likes.  No, it won't harm him in any way, and while he might scream etc, at least then you can keep moving with him!!!!

You are right that the tantrums etc should start in about a years time, but......THAT'S THE TERRIBLE TWO'S  this is the worrying ones, and only a preview of what is to come.  If you can put in place your coping strategies now, you will basically breeze through the terrible 2's.

As each child goes through different stages of awareness, the way they react to things comes to the fore. I found that two of mine were great tantrum throwers and the other one as placid as can be (tho he can chuck a great wobbly when he wants to). This may continue as they grow older too. I know that my two throwers have quite volatile tempers when roused, tho usually quite controlled in everyday.