I have been putting this off myself even though I know I  need to ensure it gets taken care of ASAP

..It is because the psople we are closest too, like in your situation may not be the best choice to raise our dd should ( god forbid) something happen to the both of us...

the best thing to do is put them with someone that will love and take care of teh kids and the rest will work its self out.  just make it known to whoever will be taking the kids that you want everyone to be able to see them. and if the others... inlaws aunts unkles etc... really want to see the kids too, they will make an effort to go see them and I am sure that whoever you entrust with the babies will not refuse to let them see them. 

I agree with all of these answers, Try putting them with a family friend but have in the will you wish both sides of the family access to your kids, Maybe visitation phonecalls etc.

Hi there, It is a very hard decision to make because of all concerned but what we did was put our friends who we know would treat our children fairly.  Not many people know of our decision and we have changed it from family to friends Both my mother and hubbys mother found out about when we had the family member in the will and both were reasonably upset that is why we haven't chosen to tell anyone who will get them.  We have asked the friends to make sure if yes god forbid both of us pass away that they see the family and they understand how important it is.  Whoever you put in your will is your business and needent ever be discussed only the people that are getting them.  Once they hit 18 does it really matter who is in the will anyway as they will be able to look after themselves.  good luck with it.

Nikki

My hubby's Brother and Wife are both my kids Godparents and if something happened to me and my hubby my kids would go to either my brother in law or my in laws if they couldnt have them.

I haven't made a will yet but I know that whoever I do choose (and I have a few choices) will make sure my kid's see all their family.

I think that if you make it quite clear your wishes for your kid's to keep in constant contact with their family, all parties should make an effort to keep that promise. Photos can be sent back and forth, phone calls, letters, visits can be arranged by everyone not just whoever is in custody of the child. It's up to everyone to make an effort.

Good luck in making your decision.

Amanda xxx