I would stand your ground. Give your boyfriend the information on smoking and problems it can cause for his child...SIDS, asthma and other chronic diseases. Insist that he smokes outside the house and stops smoking in the car. As for your in-laws, suggest that your hubby pass on the info to them about HIS interest in keeping HIS child healthy. My Mum smokes as does my hubby. I told my Mum that if she wanted us to stay with  her when we went to visit, then she needed to stop smoking in the house and in her car before we came. If she didn't want to, then we would stay at a hotel and organise a hire car. She did both and aired the house for weeks before we came and had the car detailed. When bub was very small, I told hubby that he had to have a wash and change his shirt before he cuddled her when he came home smelling like smoke. Once I explained why, he was OK with that. Well done on quitting while everyone around you is still fagging! Keep up the great work!

They might as well put the cigarette in the babies mouth. It is not ok to smoke in a house or car then bring a baby into that. It is just as bad as giving the baby a smoke and I would not be taking my baby there.

I went through this and I had to put my foot down for the welfare of my daughter. She had tremendous problems with allergies, breathing, ear infections and colds. My ex was not responsible and eventually he left rather than making the choice to quit. If need be, agree to meet them where smoking is not permitted. Restaurants in our area do not allow smoking. Let someone else be the authority. Even if some times passes, the harmful effects take a long time to vanish. They are especially bad in soft materials, which hold "junk."

I was told by my midwife that 2nd hand smoke  even the smell on clothes has been linked to SIDS, I would talk to them and suggest that they come to you rather than you going to there house (hard I know). ask bf to please not smoke in the car if need be get some info from your midwife or off the internet about SIDS and get the inlaws and bf to read it maybe that will change their minds or thinking.

Good luck

Anita XXX

When I was in hospital with my first baby a friend visited who was a smoker and she held him.  The nurse commented on it and suggested my friend wash her hands first, as traces of the nicotine stay on the hands and can be harmful to the baby.  She said all the hospital staff had to wash their hands after smoke breaks for that reason.  So, I would suggest if they want to hold your baby that they wash their hands before they do.  Don't know if that helps any, but I didn't know that before I was told so.

Good for you!  I wish I could quit!

We smoke only outside here, but some does drift back into the house despite our best efforts, have to have the door open to hear our girls.  I'm sure if they don't smoke inside for about an hour before you arrive, and have the windows open during that time, the risks would be minimal.

By the way, how do you cope with your boyfriend still smoking?  I couldn't do it if my partner still smoked, though we both want to quit and are working on it (NOT EASY PEOPLES!)

I have to say a strong NO!!  Why?  Because research shows that second hand smoke, especially for kids and infants is just as harmful them actually smoking....It can cause cancer, asthma, and other respritory problems just as if they were smoking themselves.  Also, for infants, second hand smoke is known for causing asthma....

Be up front about how you feel as well and let them know that the smoke does hold potentially dangerous consiquences for your baby....